Chasing Pavements
by Your-Mudblood-Girl
Summary: If you love someone, set them free and if they come back, it's meant to be- that's what they have always heard. With Jay getting over his so-called heartbreak with Lola Pearce and Abi finally uncovering the truth about Ben Mitchell, will an old flame be lit as Jay and Abi may begin to find each other again once more?
1. Chapter 1

_What a year!_ Abi Branning contemplated as she made the final touches of her look. A black short sleeved jump suit was hugging her figure which had a zip going down at the front with silver diamonds. She was wearing big silver dangly earrings and her blonde hair was beautifully curled and fell down her shoulders neatly. Abi's eye makeup was on point which consisted of a slightly dark eye shadow with eyeliner and mascara and was finished with a red lipstick on her lips. On her feet, she was wearing black ankle boots which had a snakeskin pattern.

Tonight, she was going out with the girls. She was due to meet them in the Albert in ten minutes before they went up west. She hadn't been out with the girls in a while and she decided that she was going to enjoy herself. Ben was eager to the idea of Abi going out, which made Abi happy as Ben wanted her to go out and enjoy herself, even if it wasn't with him.

She looked back at the past year and did not know how she got to where she was now. Well, she had an idea. She should have known this a long time ago- she should have known that Jay had always had a thing for Lola. After nearly four years of being together and believing that there was no one else out there that would compare to one another, Jay broke it off with Abi. It was funny because not so long ago he was so willing to move to Bolton with her, to start a new life together. He was willing to give up everything just so they could be together. They were going to leave Walford for their new life after Phil and Sharon's wedding but that was when everything had changed.

Ben had made Abi open her eyes.

" _He's on the phone to her right now,"_ Ben's voice from October 2014 rung in her ears. _"Jay's in love with Lola."_

Abi was stubborn when Ben told her, but really he was just looking out for her in his own way. Ben hadn't even been back long and he could tell how Jay felt for Lola. Even Aunt Sal had mistaken Lola as Jay's girlfriend at the registry office. That had torn Abi apart and Jay wasn't much comfort, he just shrugged it off.

Ben did give Abi the shove that she needed. It had got her to confront her fears and face Jay, approach him with this query. It hurt like hell but she got the truth in the end. He did like Lola and he didn't want to move to Bolton with her.

" _It feels like a waiting room,"_ Jay confessed to Abi.

Then, in an instant, it was over. Everything they had worked for had crumbled to the ground.

She was devastated. Jay was her childhood sweetheart but she guessed that things weren't meant to be, so she didn't make an effort of trying to get back with him like they normally did. She knew there was no hope.

Ben was Abi's comfort and now she had been in a relationship with him for over a year. She couldn't be happier.

" _Me and Jay were nothing,"_ Abi always said when she defended their relationship. _"Me and Ben are the real thing!"_

She was living with Ben now and she was certain that they had a future. Even Phil had said that. Phil had been like a father to her. She was sure that one day, she was going to become Mrs Ben Mitchell and have his babies and live happily ever after. This is what she wanted for herself. Things were finally looking up. She was even a receptionist at the local Vetinary centre and they have now put her on a training course to become a vet. Within a couple of years, she would be a qualified vet. She didn't have to go to university after all. All she needed was standing right in front of her.

Then there was Jay. When Abi first moved in, her and Jay were constantly bickering but they were on better terms now. They started to become civil but they appeared to be friends now instead of house mates. She wouldn't get close to him again, well not too close. She was with Ben now and that was the way she wanted it to stay. Her and Jay had had their story and now it was time for the biggest story of them all- the story that should have been written years ago, right from when they were little.

It was the beginning of December and the square was already getting into the Christmas spirit. Mick and Linda Carter hosted the turning on of the Christmas lights and that was a wonderful evening. Ben never left her side and held her close to him. She never stopped getting fireworks when she was around Ben, she felt like a love sick teenager all over again whenever she was around him. She was certain that this Christmas was going to the best.

Abi let out a happy sigh as she smiled to herself whilst putting on her leather jacket with faux fur around the collar and grabbing her black clutch bag. She made her way downstairs and found Ben sitting in the living room, his eyes turning into squares as he stared at the television.

"Your eyes will get worse if you keep staring at that telly," Abi teased, giving a small smile.

Ben gave her a weird facial expression as he looked up at her, "How can my eyes get worse- I'm already wearing glasses!"

"I'm only joking babe, calm down," Abi rolled her eyes, giggling. She rested her hands on her hips and gave her lover a seductive look. "So, what do you think?"

"What do you mean?" Ben asked, oblivious, until Abi raised her eyebrow at him. His eyes suddenly wandered down her body, though it didn't really seem to interest him. "Oh you look great love- you scrub up well!"

"Honestly," Abi sighed. She perched herself down on the sofa beside Ben as she rested her hand on his knee. "So what are you up to tonight?"

"Just watching the telly," Ben indicated the TV with his eyes.

"Oh," Abi frowned. "I could always stay in with you if you want," she suddenly suggested, with willingness draining through her dialogue.

"No, you go out with the girls and enjoy yourself babe," Ben responded softly, swiping a gentle kiss on his girlfriend's cheek. Abi smiled timidly as butterflies awakened in her stomach. She really felt in love with Ben Mitchell- there was no other love like it.

"Alright," Abi smiled. "Well, I better get going. I shouldn't be back too late." Abi kissed Ben on the lips before she stood up. "I'll see you later okay? I love you."

"Yeah, love you too," Ben replied sounding shifty as he moved his head across Abi's body to try and see the telly as Abi happened to be standing in front of it. Though, Abi didn't seem to notice- she just smiled and walked into the kitchen to find Jay who was looking at his phone.

"Oh alright Abs," Jay's eyes moved up from his phone. "Where are you going all scrubbed up?"

"Oh I'm just going out with Bernadette, Sophie and Chloe," Abi smiled politely. "Are you going out as well? I only smell that aftershave of yours whenever you're going out." Abi asked awkwardly, suddenly realising what she was saying. She forgot how nice Jay's aftershave was and felt the back of her neck heat up a bit as she started to get flustered. Yes, that was very awkward indeed.

Jay chuckled, "Yeah I am going out as it goes. I'm meeting up with the boys, having a few drinks in the Vic."

"Oh, that should be nice," Abi dragged out her sentence, trying her hardest to forget the previous comment.

Jay smiled softly at Abi, "Tell you what, let's go out and get a quick drink. I'm not meeting up with them for another half an hour."

At that moment, Abi felt relieved that she had to meet the girls round about now as she wouldn't have been able to think of an excuse. She couldn't go out for a drink with Jay. They were just friends, who she went out occasionally with Ben and who she shared a house with. That was all and that was all would ever be to it.

"Erm, I'm really sorry but I can't as I have to meet up with the girls in the Albert now," Abi laughed nervously, running her hand through her hair. "I'll see you later though, yeah?" She flashed him a smile.

"Yeah, course," Jay gave Abi a swift smile.

"See ya," Abi grinned. She heard Jay murmur "See ya" as she walked out of the house. She let out a breath which she felt like she had been holding in for a lifetime.

* * *

Bernadette, Chloe and Sophie howled with laughter as Abi told them about her awkward moment with Jay. They were sitting round a small table in the Albert. Two other groups of people were sitting round different tables so the bar was quite lively.

"Smelling his aftershave Abi," Bernadette sniggered. "All the things you could have said Abs, you mentioned his aftershave!"

"It was the first thing that came into my head," Abi rolled her eyes awkwardly as she took a sip of her Pina Colada. "What was I supposed to say to him? He was standing there in the kitchen and noticed me. I didn't know what to say!"

The girls gave out a small chuckle.

"So how are things going with you and Ben?" Sophie asked, intrigued as she nibbled on her plastic cocktail stirrer.

"Yeah, we're fine," Abi smiled timidly. "Things are great between us."

"Alright Abi…"

The girls turned their heads to find Kathy Beale standing behind them. Her blonde grey hair fell to her shoulders and her face looked dull. She was wearing a beige coat that went down to her thighs with a black handbag swung over her shoulder.

"Oh hi Kathy," Abi smiled politely, "Never thought I'd see you in here!"

"Yeah well I've come to talk to Sharon," Kathy replied, indicating Sharon who was staring at them from behind the bar. "Anyway as you're here without Ben, I thought we could have a chat?"

"Isn't it a bit too late to be giving your son's girlfriends the 'warning' as you've been dead for the past 10 years?" Bernadette retorted, smirking cockily with her eyebrow arched.

"Bernadette," Abi growled, her brown eyes expanding like discs at her friends in disbelief. Bernadette looked away innocently to find Chloe and Sophie shaking her head at her slowly- even they knew she could be out of order at times.

Abi sighed in frustration as she turned back to Kathy. She rose from her seat and walked over to the woman, "Sorry about Bernadette, she does like to put her foot in it at times!"

"It's alright Abs," Kathy smiled genuinely at the girl. "Let's face it- I'm bound to get those sorts of comments thrown at me for a long time."

Abi smiled sympathetically at Kathy- none of this was her fault. Well that's what Ben wants her to believe, so Abi had decided to take his word for it. "Anyway, what is it that you wanted?"

"Like your friend said, I haven't been in Ben's life for 10 years and I know Sharon and Phil probably won't help me, but I was wondering if you know what Ben likes?" Kathy wondered, biting down on her bottom lip awkwardly.

"Erm, well he likes Justin Bieber," Abi grinned. "He would probably like his new album!"

"Okay thanks Abi," Kathy smiled gratefully. "By the way, did Ben tell you that Ian's having a family dinner tomorrow round his and you're welcome to come along- will you be joining us?"

"No, this is the first I've heard of it," Abi frowned.

"Oh right," Kathy frowned. "Well maybe he forgot- you know what boys can be like!"

"Yeah," Abi gave a nervous giggle.

"Anyway, I'll let you get back to your friends," Kathy smiled. "Enjoy your evening!"

"You too," Abi gave a small smile before walking back over to her table, debating why Ben never told her about this family dinner. I mean, they have been together for just over a year and to her, this was a pretty big deal. It was a family dinner which Ben was invited too, surely she had to tag along too as they're partners. Maybe, Ben didn't want her there. She shook that theory away from her thoughts immediately. Perhaps, he just wanted to spend time with his family- long lost family time that he had missed.

"Everything alright hun?" Chloe dragged Abi away from her thoughts as she looked at her friend with concern.

"Yeah, fine," Abi smiled timidly.

"What did the ghost want?" Bernadette smirked.

"Bernadette," Abi glared.

"What?" Bernadette gaped, "It's practically true! She's been classed as dead for the past ten years and then just swans back into Ben's life like nothing has happened and goes back to living her life normally! I mean, who does that?"

"Just leave it Bernadette, it has nothing to do with you," Sophie spat.

Abi let out a heavy sigh but it wasn't heard due to the atmosphere of the bar, "Tell you what, why don't we get the bill and head up West?" Abi suggested, grinning. "Have a change of scene!"

"Yeah why not," Sophie grinned.

"I'll get the bill," Abi said before going over to the bar.

"You alright Abi love," Sharon smiled.

"Yeah, can we have the bill please?" asked Abi, politely.

"Of course you can," Sharon went towards the till and started pressing a few buttons. "Are you and the girls going anywhere fancy?"

"Oh we're just going up West," Abi said casually.

"Oh that's nice, I wish I was young again," Sharon grinned. "I will leave the door open for you. Don't wake up anyone when you get in, even though Phil won't be back till late, Jay's going out, and I don't close until 1 and Denny's at a sleepover."

Abi giggled, "Thanks Sharon, I shouldn't be back too late." She took the bill off of Sharon and paid her the money. "I'll see you later…"

"See you later," Sharon giggled as she watched Abi walk back over to her friends before evacuating the Albert.

* * *

It must have gone half 10 when Abi stumbled out of the tube station. _The night is still young,_ she pouted as she ran her hand through her slightly backcombed hair. She was pretty tipsy when she treaded carefully across the pavement- she wasn't one who could handle her alcohol very well!

None of the girls had intended for the evening to end this early, however, when Bernadette drunkenly started to have a dig at Abi's love life and her family life, Abi threw herself at her and they started to have some sort of cat fight in the middle of the club. Chloe and Sophie blamed Bernadette, they knew that she started it and the same went for anyone who had witnessed the break out. Unfortunately, Chloe and Sophie decided to call it a night to prevent things from getting worse. However, even in her drunken state, Abi was adamant that she was not going to apologise to Bernadette. Bernadette caused the entire feud and ruined the evening. To be fair, Bernadette never could help but have a dig at anyone and not just at Abi. Miss Queen Bee…

Abi walked through the market. She sighed sadly. All she wanted was to go home to Ben and snuggle up with him. Ben had always meant the world to her and she would move the sun and stars for him. She loved him with all of her heart. She wished that she could tell him that every day but she knew that he would just tell her to stop being silly.

Abi crept through the gates of the Mitchell household and gazed up at the view in front of her. She smiled widely. The love of her life was inside that house and she was itching to return to him. She missed him, despite the fact that she lived with the guy, but she missed him.

Abi slowly opened the door and quietly closed it behind her encase Ben was sleeping upstairs, in their bed. She suddenly heard echoing voices coming from the living room. Abi cocked her head to one side as she listened in.

"I can't believe you Ben," she heard Jay's condescending voice.

"Please, you can't tell Abi," she heard Ben plead. "She can _**never**_ find out!"

Abi laughed to herself whilst shaking her head. _He must have been playing Fallout 4- that game I don't like him playing as there's too many guns!_ Her subconscious considered as she bit down on her bottom lip and stroked her chin with the use of her index finger.

She found it cute how Ben was panicking encase she found out. Boys will be boys. She had a feeling that Jay was messing around with Ben- he tended to put on serious tones of voices when he was messing around.

Abi let out a happy sigh as she opened the living room door wide open, "I'm home!" She exclaimed, merrily.

Her eyes diverted to the scene and she swallowed down a gulp before her facial expression widened, with her jaw dropped and her chocolate brown pools almost flooding.

Abi was faced with a traumatic scene. Ben and Paul were standing in front of the sofa. Ben was topless with his feet bare and his jeans undone. His t-shirt, trainers and socks were on the floor along with Paul's, whose jeans, t-shirt, jacket, socks and trainers were on the floor. Paul was just standing there in his boxers, just watching the scene unfold. Then there was Jay, he was standing by the dining room table, running his hands down his face in disbelief.

Abi could feel her heart pounding hard against her chest that she felt like it was going to _**literally**_ jump out and shatter onto the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

"Abs, this isn't what it looks like…" Ben began, holding his hand out in a stop sign with his arm stretched out towards Abi. He was taking deep and steady breaths to calm himself as he was beginning to panic. Abi knew. Jay knew but he kept stumped…but Abi? God knows what she could do!

"Oh don't give me that," Abi spat in disgust as a tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. "That's like the oldest excuse in the book!"

Abi couldn't stay strong. She had been hurt enough and she just wanted to escape. Without another word, she scarpered out of the house, shaking the whole household with a loud slam of the door.

"Abi!" Ben yelled. He let out an angry sigh as his hands pulled at his short brown hair.

"I'll go after her," Jay said, warningly. With that, Jay rushed out of the house in search of Abi.

"My dad's going to kill me!" Ben exclaimed with fear and panic dripping out of his speech.

"How do you know that?" Paul asked, reassuringly as he pulled on his top. "You're his son, he will understand eventually.

Ben finished putting on his t-shirt and shook his head with a serious expression painted on his face. "You don't know my dad like I do."

* * *

Jay didn't have to find Abi- he could hear her from outside the wooden gate of the Mitchell house. He jogged over to the Square gardens to find her bending down beside the bush and puking her guts up loudly whilst sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh Abs," Jay sighed as he rubbed her back comfortingly. "Just let it all out."

Abi continued being sick for a little while until there was nothing left to bring up. She just took deep and steady breaths to try and pace herself. But that didn't work. She slowly felt herself crumbling. Without hesitation, she let all of her tears come flooding out as she wailed loudly. For a moment she had forgot that Jay was standing behind her.

"Come here," Jay spoke softly, pulling her against his chest.

Abi just cried and cried- she couldn't stop. She didn't know how to. She felt like she was going to fall to the floor but Jay had hold of her. She just _**knew**_ for some reason that he wasn't going to let her go.

Just when she thought everything was falling into place, just when she thought things were looking up. Then, within a single flash, everything comes crumbling down like a tower of blocks. She felt like her whole world was shattering around her. She felt like she was faced with darkness- like she was staring into a black hole.

She thought that she had stopped people walking all over her ages ago but she was wrong. She had let her childhood best friend do it. She had let her so called boyfriend walk all over her. There was _**definitely**_ no way back for them now. She felt so humiliated. People had always been telling her that Ben was gay, but she ignored them, being persistant that he wasn't gay and defending their relationship. She loved him and she believed that he loved her too.

She was blind. She was very much blind indeed. She was blind to the fact that Jay was in love with Lola and on top of that, she was blind to the fact that Ben was gay.

 _ **What is my life coming to?**_ Her subconscious sobbed. Her world was being torn apart. She had no idea where she was going to go from here.

Abi stopped crying and tried to pull herself together by inhaling the night air and taking deep breaths. Although, she couldn't help but whimper like a puppy.

"Why don't we go for a drink, eh?" Jay suggested gently as he pulled Abi away from him to look at her but kept his arm firmly wrapped around her shoulders.

Abi sniffed and nodded, wiping wet tear stains that she was on her cheek. _**I bet I look a mess!**_ She thought.

Jay's hand was located on the small of Abi's back as he supported her whilst they walked towards the Vic. Jay pushed the double doors as they swung open, allowing the pair to enter the lively pub.

"Jay, bruv," Fatboy called as him and Lee leant forward against the bar with cloudy pints sitting in front of them. "We were wondering where you had go to. Did you get your wallet?"

"Yeah, yeah I did," Jay spoke as he scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly.

"I didn't know that you would be bringing female company," Lee's lips turned into a small smirk as he started to get very tipsy. Abi noticed Whitney scowl at her boyfriend from behind the bar, which made her feel a bit better- at least not all couples are lovey dovey at the moment.

"Look, not now boys," Jay tried to explain in a hushed tone as he leaned towards them. "There's something I need to deal with."

"Oh yeah, you got some business to deal with have you Jay?" Lee winked, suggestively. Jay put his hand on his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief whilst Abi looked away, trying to stop her cheeks from flushing furiously. It had been over a year since anyone has seen the two of them in that way. She didn't know what to think about it- her head was all over the place.

"Alright Lee, upstairs!" Linda demanded as she went and stood beside Whitney. "Go on, I think you've had enough now don't you?"

"Oh come on mum," Lee whined.

"Lee, just go upstairs," Whitney snapped. "Can't you see that Abi's upset?"

Lee held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright I'm going- night all!"

With that, Lee went round the back of the pub and climbed up the staircase. Fatboy turned to Jay and Abi sympathetically.

"I'm sorry about him, he's had a bit too much to drink," Fatboy apologised.

"Don't worry about it," smiled Abi, falsely.

"Why don't you two go and take a seat?" Whitney suggested. "I'll bring your drinks over- what are you having?"

Jay looked at Abi with a raised eyebrow as he waited for her response.

"Oh I'll just have a pineapple and Malibu please," Abi said casually.

"I'll just have a pint," Jay added. "Cheers Whit."

Whitney gave a small smile before Jay led Abi to the table in the corner. They sat themselves down on the comfy seats.

"I can't believe Ben would do this to me," Abi began to rant. "I've known him for years and I would have never even dreamed of him cheating on me- especially with a bloke!"

Jay sighed. "I'm sorry Abs," Jay scratched his head awkwardly. "I did try to warn him."

"What do you mean?" Abi frowned. Her mouth stood agape as she realised what Jay had just meant. "What, you knew?!" She exclaimed.

Jay nodded guiltily, "I'm sorry Abs. I thought it was my place not to say anything y'know? I wanted Ben to tell you himself, I wanted him to come out as I knew it wasn't fair on you. I still care about you Abi and I didn't want Ben to hurt you. He was just stringing you along. Although, I was so close to telling you a while ago as Ben obviously didn't have the guts," Jay sighed angrily. "He said he would finish it with Paul but obviously he lied to me. Don't worry Abs, you weren't the only one he betrayed- he's supposed to be my brother!"

Abi smiled timidly as she looked at her former lover, "It's not your fault. Do you really still care?" She gulped.

"Of course I do, you muppet!" Jay grinned as he pulled Abi towards him, giving her a side hug in which Abi giggled to a bit.

"There you are you two," Whitney smiled as she put the two drinks down on the table. She looked at Abi, "Are you alright, Abs? Look, I know Lauren's not around anymore but I am her best mate, so if you ever need a chat, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Whit," Abi smiled. She took a sip of her drink as Jay took a sip of his.

"I'll see you later," Whitney gave a small smile before going back to the bar and talking to Fatboy.

"Thinking about it, Lauren and I didn't leave on very good terms," Abi stated sadly, feeling her pupils burn as hot tears were trying to escape. "And that was because I was so deluded. I mean, I wasn't even willing to listen to Lauren, my own sister, because of my boyfriend's family. Phil made me believe that my father was guilty. Well, he is but Phil pushed me even further. The things I did for Ben," Abi sighed frustratedly as she sat back, taking small sips of her drink.

"Abi, I'm sure you will make up with Lauren. She's your sister. Just give her a ring tomorrow, I'm sure she would love to hear from ya," Jay reassured.

"Maybe," Abi bit down on her bottom lip. Jay forgot how much he loved it when she did that!

Jay frowned as he noticed how Abi looked ruffed up a bit, "Abs, not being funny but how did your hair get messy? I swear it wasn't like that when you left the house earlier this evening."

"Yeah well I had a fight with Bernadette," Abi shrugged it off. "That's why I came back so early!"

Jay stared at Abi bewildered. In all his life, he had never heard of Abi _**ever**_ having a fight. "I thought you and Bernadette were mates?" He frowned.

"Oh come on Jay," Abi rolled her eyes. "You know how she always has to have a dig at people and make those odd remarks. Seriously, she thinks that she's a flammin' princess!"

Jay bit down hard on his lip as he tried not to laugh, "Well, what did she do to upset you?"

Abi sighed, "She started saying how I'm not perfect and started to slag off my family and how my dad's in prison and started talking about genes and how it can run down. Then, she started talking about my relationship with Ben…thinking about it, I guess she was right. She said _'once a gay, always a gay!'_ She added the phrase in a squeaky girly voice.

Jay rolled his eyes as he listened to Abi rant on about her latest girl drama in which he found amusing. He had to admit- that was one of the things that he missed about her. She always use to come to him about the latest drama and as always, he use to sit there and listen.

"She also said you were fit," Abi mumbled quietly in annoyance as she looked away. She didn't think that Jay had heard the last bit but he did as his lips formed into a smirk for a few seconds when her head was turned.

There was an awkward silence as Jay and Abi just sat there and drank their drinks.

"Sooo…how are you finding single life?" Abi's head slowly turned towards Jay again as she tried to sound cool.

Jay shrugged, "It's alright. To be honest, Lola and I were never really together. We only acted like a couple for a few days before she moved to Newcastle. Even though I liked her for a while, it's not too bad. I've got over it."

"Yeah I am sorry about what happened," Abi smiled sympathetically.

"Not your fault," Jay shrugged it off. "I just know I won't be going back there."

"Well I guess we have both learnt our lessons," Abi considered, smiling a little.

"I didn't break up with you because of Lola, Abi," Jay suddenly said, which made Abi look directly at him. "You may have thought I did but I didn't. It wasn't you, it was me ok? You had potential Abi and you still do and you were going off to university. You were going up in the world and where did that leave me, eh? I thought about it and I wasn't going up like you were. I was just going to be a mechanic in Bolton which is my job here. I didn't want to hold you back. I wanted you to have a life and I didn't want you to have me tag along as I would have been no good there. Plus, you were planning for your future and studying for exams and then there was Lola. I had been hanging out a lot with Lola and she was still caught up with Peter and I guess I started developing feelings for her. You were getting on with your life Abi, you had a great future ahead of you and I didn't want to get in the way of that. Also, if those feelings that I had for Lola were real, then I didn't want to string you along. I wanted you to get on with your life as you deserved better."

Abi absorbed every word Jay had said, allowing all of the memories to stream back into her mind.

"Let's not talk about it," Abi responded, bravely. "It's all in the past now."

"Alright drink up folks- it's closing time!" Mick announced loudly as he rang the bell.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Jay said quietly as him and Abi downed the rest of their drinks.

Abi sighed sadly as they stood up, "Why am I going to do tonight? I feel like no where's a home for me anymore."

"You can sleep in my bed tonight," Jay insisted. "I'll sleep on the sofa."

Abi gave a small smile, "Thanks Jay."

On that note, Jay and Abi left the Vic and absorbed the surroundings of the night life of Albert Square.

"I don't want to go back just yet," Abi groaned. She really didn't want to see Ben in her current frame of mind. She knew that she had to face him at some point, but not yet. Not tonight.

"Well how about we hang out at the park for a bit?" Jay suggested, indicating the swings with the use of his dazzling green eyes.

Abi nodded before they headed over to the park. Abi found herself standing next to the dice which was located at the front of the play park. She started to get emotional as she reminisced back to the good memories that were shared in the play park but those two dice brought doom upon her. That is when she felt that her life really went downhill.

"You okay?" She heard that familiar voice echo in her ear drums. She sniffed as she wiped away a tear that managed to escape down her cheek.

"Hey," Jay said softly. He tugged at her arm gently as he turned her round to face him. "What's wrong?" He used his thumb to wipe away her falling tears.

"It's just memories y'know," Abi responded. "I mean, good memories were made here weren't there?" She chuckled sadly.

"Ssshh," Jay hushed, his thumb softly pulling down Abi's bottom lip. "There's no need to cry, babe. There's no need to be sad…not anymore."

For a moment, Jay and Abi just stared at each other, just gazing into each other's eyes. With the alcohol rushing to their heads and without thinking for a second longer, their lips quickly crashed onto one another's. Abi's fingers got knotted into Jay's hair whilst Jay grabbed hold of Abi's petite waist and pulled her closer towards him so that their chests were touching. They didn't know how to stop and they didn't want to either. They just continued to kiss each other hungrily.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** _Hi all!_

 _I thought that I would take the opportunity to say hello as I haven't already. This is the first Jay and Abi fanfiction that I have written in like over a year now? I did want to move on and write other stories like my David and Kylie one (Coronation Street) as I was so heartbroken that Jay and Abi split up (screw you Lola!) and felt I couldn't write about them anymore:( but I'm back- I just couldn't resist writing another fanfiction about them and what could be in the future which seems pretty hopeful at the moment ;) I think that is one of the reasons why I have started writing Jay and Abi fanfiction again as well as having ideas of how it could all plan out that I just wanted to share with the people that have always supported me on here which I'll always be grateful for :)_

 _So, my supporters who have read my Jay and Abi fanfiction in the past, I would love it if you would let me know what you think of this new story. Also, the new people who happen to come across this, I would love it if you would let me know what you think!_

 _If you read this story, please please please can you review, favourite and follow? This gives me motivation to write even more in order to entertain you Jabi fans!_

 _Much love x_

 **THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER IS CLASSED AS M RATED!**

* * *

The bash against the garage door of the Arches echoed like the hitting of a drum. Jay and Abi were gasping for breath as Abi was up against the Arches with her fingers pulling at Jay's hair whilst Jay grasped a handful of one of her breasts as he started to leave trails of kisses down her neck whilst groaning against it.

"I wonder what passer-byes think when they walk past," Abi giggled, flirtatiously.

Jay took a step back and looked at Abi. He turned his head around to find that the Square was empty, the night was silent and all that could be heard was their moans and groans. He turned back round to Abi and grinned cheekily as he pulled out a bunch of keys and shook them playfully in front of her.

"Shall we take this inside then?" He suggested, raising his eyebrow as he indicated the Arches.

Abi took a deep breath. This was _**actually**_ happening. She was about to have sex with Jay after over a year. At this moment in time, he wanted her instead of Lola. This sent shivers up her spine as her legs started to tremble with excitement. Yes, she recalled that she did have sex with Ben in the Arches, but Ben didn't want her, not really. He had to force himself on her. Only now, she just realised that. But Jay wasn't Ben, he was Jay and right here, right now, Jay Brown wanted her.

"Okay," Abi giggled, starting to get giddy. Jay smirked as he fiddled with the keys, trying to find the right one. When he did, the lock turned and Jay managed to slide the door to the slide, introducing the austere scene of the Arches.

"After you ma'am," Jay insisted cheekily as he used the full length of his arm to indicate for Abi to enter the Arches, which was going to be their love shack for the rest of the evening.

Abi couldn't maintain her grin as the heels on her ankle boots clunked their way into the garage, receiving a slap on the backside from Jay as he entered, which caused her to let out a squeal.

Jay chuckled as he entered the Arches and turned on the spotlight which was placed on the desk to ensure that him and Abi could see what they were doing. He then went to lock up the Arches to prevent anyone from walking in on him and Abi, because he knew for a fact what was about to happen and he wasn't going to regret a thing. Yes, he was slightly tipsy but he knew what he was doing and he was certain that he wasn't going to wake up and consider that it was one massive mistake.

Jay sighed happily as he locked up the Arches, trapping him and Abi inside, and turned on his heel to find his jaw reluctantly dropping at the sight in front of him. Abi was standing in front of the desk in just red lacey matching bra and knickers. Her hand was rested on her hip with an enticing smile sketched upon her lips. In her other hand, she held a spanner.

"Wow," Jay smiled impressively. "You must be keen."

Abi smirked as she slowly walked over to where Jay was standing, her feet bare, "Is someone ready for their MOT?"

Abi just realised what she had said. How could she have been so stupid? That was such a dumb thing to say, it didn't sound sexy in the _**slightest.**_ She looked at Jay nervously as she nibbled on her bottom lip. Jay just raised his eyebrow and frowned bewilderedly as he tried to interpret what she had just said, before he burst out laughing. This put Abi at ease and knew that Jay wasn't laughing at her, he was laughing with her. This made Abi laugh too.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she shook her head, in hope to shake away the comment that slipped out of her mouth.

Jay chuckled as he pulled Abi closer to him, "No, I'm afraid, but there is something else that I'm ready for." He added huskily as he began to kiss Abi again in which she happily responded to. He steadily guided Abi to the car and gently pushed her up against it as they continued to kiss, the moment getting more intimate.

"I guess I need to catch up don't I, eh?" Jay mumbled against Abi's lips before he slid his hoodie and blue shirt off, dropping it on the floor. Abi bit her lip as she traced her fingers down his muscly chest. She hadn't touched his body in a _**long**_ time and it still felt right. She forgot how well Jay looked after himself, nothing compared to Ben. Ben wasn't flabby but he wasn't as well built, but that didn't matter to Abi as she _loved_ him.

Abi's mouth stood in a perfect 'o' shape as she suddenly had a light bulb moment, "Have you got one?"

Jay frowned and raised his eyebrow. _God she aint half coming out with these random phrases tonight!_ His subconscious smirked. "What do you mean?"

"Have you got one?" She said with a bit more enthusiasm as she patted his jean pocket.

Jay frowned, oblivious, "Abs, what are you on about? Have I got what?"

"A condom, Jay," Abi rolled her eyes at her former boyfriend.

"Oh!" Jay's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he suddenly realised what she meant. "Yeah, I've got one in my wallet."

Abi giggled as she leant in and started kissing him, playfully biting on his bottom lip. Jay growled as he held onto Abi tighter as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, which ended up looking like that they were practically eating each other's faces off. They were tipsy- what do you expect?!

Abi's thumb found the button that was attached to Jay's dark denim jeans. She used her thumb and index finger in order to push the button through the hole before yanking down the zip. After Abi's job was done, which left Jay to only kick off his jeans and before he knew it, he was standing in nothing but his boxers.

"Mmm, shall we go and get settled inside?" Jay asked suggestively against her lips, his eyes slightly indicating the car that they so happened to be leaning on.

Abi grinned, "I can't see why not."

Jay and Abi laughed quietly before Jay opened the back door of the car. Abi giggled giddily as she crawled into the backseat in which Jay cocked his head to the side and observed her arse and was impressed of how the thin lace fitted around it. He knelt down and grabbed the condom from his wallet. He looked back and smiled at Abi before he joined her in the compacted back seat of the car, which belonged to some random customer.

Jay climbed on top of Abi and parked himself inbetween her legs. For a while, they just gazed into each other's eyes. All the bad memories that had ever happened to them just vanished into thin air. It was like none of that mattered. They were in their own bubble. Just for that one night, they were together and that made them feel alive!

Abi tugged at Jay's hair as she brought him towards her. They started to kiss each other more passionate than ever. The kisses that were repeated were longing and they embraced each and every one of them. The moment soon turned hot and heavy as the air that they breathed stood breathlessly against one another's lips. Jay's arms curled around Abi's back as he fiddled with the back of her bra. Within a second, he detached it and threw it out of the car, allowing it to slide across the cold concrete floor.

"You've always been good with your hands," Abi grinned.

"Why thank you Miss Branning."

Abi squealed as they began to kiss each other again. Jay really knew how to get her excited. Abi lay breathlessly between kisses whilst grabbing the waistband of Jay's boxers and tugging them down. Jay groaned against Abi's lips as he kicked off his boxers and allocated them against the car before sliding his hand down Abi's knickers. His fingers slowly traced down to her clit to find that it was moist and slippery. He smirked against Abi's lips as he went further down to her hole. It felt wet and ready against his fingers. She was ready for him.

Jay's touch sent shivers up Abi's spine. She had never felt this excited, not even with Ben. Jay was the only one that ever could give her those radiant feelings. It was strange to think that this used to be them on a regular basis.

Jay looked up at Abi and their eyes locked. Unlike Ben, a soft and caring expression was hidden beneath Jay's glorious green eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked, smiling comfortingly.

Abi nodded, giving a small smile, "This is what I've always wanted."

Jay smiled as he bent down and planted a gentle kiss on Abi's lips before whipping her knickers down and throwing them over his shoulder. They were both naked against each other. Abi grinned seductively as she slowly took the condom from Jay. Then, she wrapped her hand around his hard and upstanding penis as she began to stroke it gently, receiving a soft moan from Jay. Abi bit down on her lip as she looked at Jay before using her teeth to rip open the condom wrapper.

"Wait," Jay suddenly realised. "Do you want a light or sumin'?"

With the alcohol taking over his mind, he jumped off of Abi and scrambled in his jeans for his phone. He jogged back into the car enthusiastically with his mobile phone in hand. He switched on the torch app and navigated the light towards the condom as he knelt inbetween Abi's legs.

"Jay, why have you got that? I can see perfectly fine," Abi reassured, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, but it's dark in here," Jay whispered. "You might not be able to see properly."

Abi chuckled whilst shaking her head. She pulled out the slippery condom and held it between her two fingers before accurately sliding it onto his long and erect penis. Jay put his phone down and started to nibble on Abi's neck. Abi's fingers clawed into Jay's hair and back as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, enjoying the pleasure of Jay's wet lips against her neck and using his other hand to caress her body. Abi's legs clicked around Jay's waist, receiving an automatic groan from Jay.

"It's been a while since we've done this," Jay grinned against Abi's lips before planting a peck on her lips.

"Well give it your best shot," Abi grinned back inbetween kisses. The moment turned passionate as Jay and Abi did nothing but kiss each other heavily and constantly. Jay used his hand to navigate his penis into Abi's vagina. Due to being slightly drunk and not wanting to stop kissing Abi, he only thought that his penis had slid into Abi's vagina.

"Jay," Abi mumbled against Jay's lips. "You're going into my belly button."

Jay suddenly jumped back and put his hand on his forehead, "Oh my god, I can't believe I just did that!"

Abi rubbed her hand down Jay's arm soothingly, "It's okay. It's alright. Please don't be embarrassed!"

Jay and Abi looked at each other for a moment before they fell into hysterics. They both took a deep breath after a while to try and maintain themselves. They'd admit it- they were both drunk, but they wanted this to happen so badly.

"Maybe I should take control?" Abi suggested, flirtatiously.

"Oh yeah?" Jay licked his lips, "How are you going to do that?"

Abi bit down on her bottom lip before pulling Jay back down onto her and rolling them both over so Abi was now sitting on top of Jay.

"Oh hello," Jay smirked.

"Hey," Abi giggled. She lifted herself up and started to kiss Jay for a few minutes before getting hold of Jay's penis and putting it into position. She sat herself up and slowly went down above Jay's crotch before sitting herself down, allowing his penis to slide up her vagina. Abi and Jay both moaned loudly at that familiar sensation, both realising how much they had missed that feeling.

An hour and a half later, Jay and Abi were huddled together as they lay across the back seat of the car. They were covered by Jay's hoody, but even though it was a winter's night, they were warm as the heat from their bodies both radiating onto one another's. They were both breathless; however, they couldn't stop smiling. They couldn't believe what had just happened. Even though, they were drunk, they had made love for the first time in over a year.

"I feel sorry for old matey who has to pick up this car," Jay commented.

"Have you seen him?" Abi grinned.

"Phil has, I just do the work." Abi laughed at that comment. Jay looked down at Abi and started to stroke her now messy blonde hair. "I tell you what though- I bet girls would run a mile after trying me trying to put my dick into their belly button."

Abi and Jay both laughed for a moment before relaxing.

"Well I'm not like other girls," Abi smiled reassuringly. "Other girls won't know you like I do."

"And what do you know me as?" Jay asked, curiously with his eyebrow arched.

"This sexy red head that's great in bed," Abi giggled, still feeling slightly tipsy.

"I'm not red headed, it's African sunset," Jay spoke defensively in which Abi just giggled at.

"Yeah, yeah," Abi giggled. Then, she started to think. It wouldn't have mattered as she had sex with Ben but she was just curious. "Jay, can I ask you something?" She bit down on her lip shyly.

"Yeah course," Jay smiled reassuringly.

"Did you and Lola…did you and Lola ever…y'know?" She asked awkwardly.

"Twice, yeah," Jay admitted. "But it was nothing special thinking about it. Not like me and you."

"It's fine," Abi gave a small smile. "There's no need to make a big deal about it. I mean, I've been sleeping in Ben's bed for nearly a year."

"Let's forget about them," Jay said immediately. "Let's forget about Lola and Ben. Right now, they don't matter." Jay turned Abi's head up towards him and kissed her fully on the mouth. Abi's eyes fluttered closed as she didn't hesitate to respond. They were in their own little world, their little bubble and it wasn't going to pop anytime soon.

Abi smiled timidly at Jay, "We should probably go."

"Five more minutes please," Jay whined as he pulled Abi closer to him.

Abi beamed at Jay, "Alright, what harm could five more minutes do?"

Jay and Abi started kissing each other passionately for a few seconds before they snuggled into one another. They felt connected, like they belonged in each other's arms. For the first time in a long time, Abi felt safe. She always felt safe with Jay.

However, they didn't realise that they had drifted off into a deep slumber. Abi's eyes fluttered open as she got greeted to daylight. She gasped in horror as she sat up and began shaking Jay.

"Alright, alright, where's the fire?" Jay grumbled as his eyes sprung open.

"Jay, we fell asleep," Abi stated, alarmed.

"What!" Jay's eyes widened as he reached over Abi to pick up his phone. "Shit…it's 9 'o' clock!"

"Oh no," Abi cried as her hands slapped against her mouth. "What are we going to do?"

"We need to get out of here," Jay spoke, sounding persistent. "And fast."

Abi nodded her head in agreement. On cue, Jay and Abi scrambled out of the car and got hold of their underwear. They had managed to pull them on until they froze when they heard keys turning in the look. They glanced over at each other in alarm. They didn't know who was to walk through that door. They turned towards the garage doors and watched them slide back in slow motion.

Ben Mitchell was there as he let out an exasperated sigh. He didn't even notice them. He just turned up out of the blue. It was a Saturday- the Arches weren't open on weekends.

However, he soon got the shock of his life when he took a step into the Arches to find Jay and Abi standing in their underwear with the car door wide open. Jay and Abi stared at him back, not knowing what to say or do. They knew Ben and they were worried of how he was going to react. It was nothing to be ashamed of, Ben did exactly the same or worse even.

Ben could have sworn that he felt his blood boil as he looked at the pair of them. He gulped as anger began to rise within his veins, his eyes turning dark as he looked at them.


	4. Chapter 4

"What's going on here?" Ben said in a low voice, his breath at a steady pace.

"Well I don't know about you but I sense a bit of déjà vu," Abi gave her cheating boyfriend a devilish stare with her lips in a straight and firm line with her eyebrow arched. Her hand was rested on her hip.

Jay looked over at Abi in disbelief. The Abi that he once dated would _**never**_ say anything like this. She would never make such harsh and witty comments towards other people, but she was growing up and things would have bound to have changed. Jay's lips pulled up into a small smirk. He kind of liked this side of Abi- he found it rather hot.

Ben released a calm and longing breath. He was trying to maintain his anger. How dare she stand there in that red lacy underwear with Jay standing beside her in his boxers. How dare them both, how dare they both do _**that!**_

"I'll ask you again, what's going on here?" Ben asked, firmly.

"Do we have to spell it out to you?" Abi scoffed, sarcastically. "You must know about the birds and the bees. You know especially being with me...and Paul." Abi let out a small breath as she had begun to feel slightly hurt as she thought about her revelation about Ben the night before.

"But why?" Ben demanded, "I thought you two were past all that now, I thought you two were in the past?"

For a moment, there was an awkward pause.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Jay asked suspiciously, scratching the back of his neck. "It's a Saturday, we aint open on weekends."

"I left something here and I came to pick it up," Ben said bluntly. "I didn't expect to find you two here. I was starting to get worried about you, Abs."

"Yeah well you've found me now," Abi snarled. "I think you should go now."

"What and leave you two here?" Ben scoffed, "Don't you think I deserve an explanation?"

"Don't you think I deserve one?" Abi exclaimed.

Ben let out an angry sigh. "Alright, if you want to have this out, I'll see you back at the house- just the three of us." He spoke harshly "I'll see you there in 5."

Ben sent over a dark glare before picking up some documents that he left on the desk the day before and evacuating the garage. Abi let out a sigh as she turned to Jay, "I really don't want to talk to him." She moaned as she picked up her playsuit and climbed into it.

"You have to talk to him at some point," Jay told her softly as he put on his jeans. "To finalise things y'know."

Abi let out a small sigh as she sat herself down on the chair and started to put on her socks and boots. "I guess so, there's definitely no going back for me and him." She shook her head in disgust, adamant with her decision.

"I don't blame you," Jay commented as he put his shirt back on. "It was wrong what he did, stringing you a long like that."

Abi looked up at Jay sadly, "Do you think he ever loved me Jay?"

Jay sighed as he locked his eyes with those chocolate pools, "Who knows eh? He claimed that he did but I guess we'll never know the truth."

Abi nodded in understanding as she bit down on her bottom lip in concentration. She suddenly looked back up at Jay, "Do you think it's wrong what we did?" She swallowed a gulp.

Jay looked back up at Abi as he finished buttoning up his shirt and was putting on his socks whilst leaning up against the bonnet of the car in order to maintain his balance. His lips curved up into a small smile, "Do you?"

Abi shook her head whilst giving him a small smile, "I guess not."

Jay smirked, "Me neither."

Abi stood up to grab her leather jacket when she started giggling whilst putting it on, "I'm surprised we remembered it as we were drunk," Abi stated, as she ran her hand through her wavy blonde hair awkwardly. However, she soon cursed herself once she had said it, wondering whether she had just offended Jay.

"I certainly remembered it," Jay smiled. "Otherwise I wouldn't have done it if I weren't in the right frame of mind."

Abi gave him a small smile. At least she wasn't some drunken mistake as some people like to call to it, she thought. "So, you don't regret it?" Abi enquired, dragging out her words.

Jay shook his head, smiling reassuring at her. Abi suddenly felt the insides of her stomach do back flips. That was the feeling that she hadn't felt in a while. Yes, Ben sent her those feelings once in a while but not as strong as how Jay use to. Abi looked away as her mind began to explode into flashbacks:

 _ **It was Valentine's Day 2013 and her and Jay were letting off a few mini fireworks in the living room.**_

" _ **This is it, the dragon tornado," Jay announced. "Boom!"**_

 _ **They watched the small flame.**_

" _ **More like a dragon's poop," Abi teased.**_

" _ **You cheeky little mare," Jay spoke in disbelief before he went to tickle Abi. Abi began to laugh hysterically whilst Jay was mocking what she was going to say to stop him from tickling her. He knew her inside and out. Abi's giggling was drawn to a close as Jay and Abi just gazed into each other's eyes, not moving or saying a word. All of a sudden, the smoke alarm went off.**_

 _ **They both looked up. Abi looked away as she started to feel her body heat up, "Saved by the bell, open a window."**_

 _ **Jay lifted himself off the ground but was crouched down to Abi's side as he touched her shoulder, "Abi, there's a fire, we gotta get you out of here," Jay said in a serious and hushed tone.**_

" _ **What?" Abi began to panic.**_

" _ **Abi, come on quick, there's a fire- run, run, run!" Jay started to act alarmed as he lifted Abi off her feet and led her out into the hallway, listening to the sound of her laugh as they hurried into the hallway and towards the front door.**_

 _ **...**_

" _ **I can't believe I fell asleep, what time is it?" Abi started to panic as she rushed through the Square Gardens in the middle of the night as Jay tried to keep up with her.**_

" _ **Like 3 'o' clock," Jay informed her.**_

 _ **Abi's head flicked round to face Jay. "My mum's gonna kill me!" Abi shrieked. She carried on pacing towards her house before Jay grabbed her by the arm and spun her round to face him. He was smiling at her.**_

" _ **It's magic isn't it," Jay grinned.**_

" _ **It was all magic," Abi grinned back, swaying from side to side.**_

" _ **I love you," Jay spoke softly.**_

" _ **I love you too," Abi responded.**_

Then, the demons awakened as they slowly crept up into her brain as she thought of when everything fell apart. Yes, her and Jay were happy once upon a time, really happy in fact, but something had changed that. That something was Lola Pearce, even though Jay told her last night that the main reason why they split up was because she was going up in the world and Jay didn't want to ruin that for her by clinging to her like some puppy. She didn't know what to think. She knew she still had feelings for Jay, but she just didn't know what to do. Not anymore.

"Abi."

Abi got pulled away from her thoughts as Jay called her name. Abi looked at him and a fake smile was pulled across her lips.

"You alright?" Jay asked, concerned. He was now fully dressed and ready to go. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just Ben," Abi lied through her teeth. She found it quite surprising how Jay still knew how she was even though they hadn't been together for over a year. He could still read her like a book and at that moment in time, she didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing. She actually found it rather annoying because a) they're not together anymore and b) she didn't want to tell him what she was really thinking about.

Jay nodded as he looked at her unsure, like he knew that she was lying, "Everything will be fine. To be honest, Ben's stupid for doing that to you."

"Really?" Abi frowned as she raised her eyebrow at Jay.

"Yeah, you're amazing," Jay complimented with a soft tone to his voice.

Abi pulled a petite smile. They gazed at each other for a moment before Abi quickly looked away and began to run her hand through her hair, "We should probably start heading back," Abi stated, awkwardly as she grabbed her handbag, "Might as well get this over and done with."

"Yeah, alright," Jay said, casually. "Let's go."

Abi smiled nervously at Jay as she walked out of the Arches and absorbed the morning atmosphere, with a chilly mist in the air and hearing the sound of birds singing and babies crying. It sounded like a busy morning in Albert Square. Jay stood behind her.

"Shall we get going then?" He asked.

Abi quickly looked at Jay and gave him a small smile, "Yeah...can we go the long way though?"

"Yeah course," Jay nodded.

They started walking down the back passage of the Arches. They didn't speak but it was a comfortable silence. Abi was contemplating on her life and what she was going to do next. She couldn't stay with the Mitchells after she had broken up with Ben, even if Jay offered to sleep on the couch whereas she slept in his bed. She considered whether it would now be awkward after what had happened between them the night before. She didn't really have any family around here anymore. Her father is in prison, her mum and Oscar are living in Exeter, Lauren is living in New Zealand with Peter and their new son Louie and her grandmother, Cora, well she hasn't been around for her lately. She's in a mess at the moment and wouldn't let anyone help her. She was scared of her own shadow at the moment. Her aunt Carol had jetted off on her granddad Jim's motorbike to some place where no one knows, she didn't think Carol did either, which left Sonia, Tina and Rebecca just living at number 45 now.

However, there was Dot. She would always welcome Abi into her home and give her the time of day. She was always there for her family, no matter what they did- she always found a way of forgiving them. Plus, Cora was staying there too and perhaps she could rekindle a relationship with her grandmother and try to help her and get her back to her normal self.

Right now, she wasn't focused on relationships. For once, she wanted to think about herself instead of other people. Abi wanted to get her life back on track and sort herself out. _Good on ya girl!_ Her subconscious triumphed with pride.

Abi and Jay started to walk through the market when she noticed Paul helping set up the flower stall in Pam's absence along with all the other market traders who were setting up their stalls. Abi's eyes suddenly turned dark.

"Abs, leave it," Jay said, warily as he noticed Abi look over at Paul.

However, Abi ignored Jay's comment and strided over to Paul determinedly and with her blood boiling.

"Abi..." Paul began with a calm and shaky tone, as he noticed her coming towards him with Jay following behind.

"Don't worry, I'm not stopping for a chat," Abi spoke bitterly and with her voice slightly raised, just when Pam came out of the café with two cups of hot tea in takeaway polystyrene cups, clasped in both of her hands. "I've just come to thank you for helping me realise that my boyfriend was actually gay and just to let you know that he is now all yours. You two are welcome to each other!"

"Abs, come on, let's go," Jay begged her in a hushed tone as he took hold of her arm gently. "Trust me, it's not worth it."

"Erm, what's going on?" Pam asked suspiciously as she came over.

"Do you want to know what your precious grandson has been doing?" Abi laughed, spitefully.

"Abi," Jay warned, looking directly at her.

"He's been sleeping with _**my**_ boyfriend behind my back," Abi snarled. "Just can't keep his hands to himself." Abi gave Paul an evil look as Pam's jaw dropped as she looked at Paul in horror and disbelief. Yes, she knew that Paul was gay but didn't know that he was one to sleep with other people's men.

"Abi, move," Jay ordered as he dragged his former girlfriend gently by the arm, dragging her down the rest of the market. The rest of the market was looking at each other and whispering about Abi's sudden announcement.

"Paul, please tell me this isn't true," Pam said in a hushed tone. "Ben Mitchell?!"

Paul nodded timidly, causing Pam to look away and sigh with disbelief, "And I thought this family had dropped enough bombshells!"

"I never intended to hurt Abi, Nan," Paul tried to reason. "It's just Ben has fallen for me and I have fallen for him. I didn't want to be secret but he felt like he had to be because of Abi and his dad would kill him if he found out! Ben's scared to come out, Nan. Please, you cannot tell anyone, I'm begging you!"

Pam looked at Paul as her facial expression had begun to soften. She gave her grandson a small smile as she handed him his tea. Pam knew that Paul had a heart of gold and would never intend to hurt anyone or be mean and spiteful. "Alright, I won't say anything. I just don't want to see you get hurt, pet. I mean, you're the only one that's keeping my spirits up since your granddad left. It's not fair what that Ben's doing to you and Abi, stringing you both along like that. Just be careful."

Paul gave his grandmother a genuine smile. He loved the relationship that the two of them shared- they were always there for each other and looking out for one another, no matter what.

* * *

"Why did you drag me away like that?" Abi hissed as they were nearing the Mitchell house. "It's like you're on their side and you're trying to protect Ben. Well, that wasn't the view you were giving me last night!"

"I'll put my hands up to it, I do feel sorry for Ben in a way as I know what Phil can get like but it doesn't make it right what he did to you. I can guarantee you that I am not on their side." Jay tried to explain.

"Then why did you stop me?" Abi demanded, irritation leaking out of her tone.

Jay rolled his eyes. He stopped in his tracks whilst grabbing hold of Abi's arm to stop her from walking. Abi was looking at Jay coldly. Jay let out a sigh before putting both of his hands firmly on Abi's shoulders, "I understand that you're angry for what they did to you but I was just trying to save your dignity a bit yeah? I mean if I was you, I wouldn't really want to go around blabbing about it."

Abi let out a sigh. She knew that he was right and that annoyed her. He did have a point. "I guess you're right," Abi admitted. "We better go inside."

"Yeah, let's face the fireworks!"

Jay pushed the gate open as they entered the back yard. Abi opened the back door to find Ben leaning up against the kitchen worktop, looking directly at them, giving them a dark and cold stare which sent shivers up both of their spines.

"Alright," Jay mumbled as he closed the back door behind them.

"Don't talk to me like I'm your mate," Ben scoffed at Jay. "Y'know acting like I'm your brother. Give me a break- not after what you just did."

"Well I don't know why you're having a go at us," Abi complained. "I mean compared to you. Y'know, you and Paul? How long has that been going on for behind my back?"

"About 6 months or so," Ben shrugged it off.

"You disgust me,"" Abi spat. "How could you do this to me? After everything that me and you have been through?!"

"Yeah well it's not about me and what I've done right now," Ben raised his voice, holding his hand out in front of him in a stop sign. "Let's talk about you and lover boy here shall we? I mean, what the hell were you two thinking? Going behind my back and having it off in the Arches- oh how very romantic!" He added sarcastically.

"You are such a hypocrite!" Abi exclaimed in disbelief. "You have such a cheek having a go at Jay and I for sleeping together when _**you're**_ the one that's been sleeping with a _**bloke**_ behind my back for _the past six months or so!_ "

"Like I said, this isn't about me," Ben growled, his teeth clenched.

"Well if you must know, you could say that I was claiming what was rightfully mine," Jay said smugly, with his arms folded across his chest. Abi turned to Jay mortified, arching her eyebrow.

"Oh shut up!" Ben shrieked. "You're the one that left her for Lola, leaving heartbroken! Do you remember Lola, Jay?" He asked, with a patronising tone of voice.

"Yeah well she really wanted you didn't she," Ben snarled. "Ended up leaving you for your best mate. You had a good girl in Abi there mate- was it really all worth it?"

Jay came towards Ben. "Why don't you shut your mouth?" Jay growled.

"Ouch, did I hit a nerve there, Jay?" Ben tormented.

Jay was going to lunge for him until Abi pulled him back by the arm. "Leave it Jay, he's not worth it."

"Yeah Jay, listen to the girl," Ben goaded him, smirking slyly as he stood up against the worktop with his arms folded across his chest.

Jay took one look at Abi who was clinging to his arm and begun to relax. She always knew how to tame him. He let out an exasperated sigh as he went to stand by the sink.

"I'm actually hurt Abi," Ben stated which caused Jay to roll his eyes flamboyantly. "I'm hurt that you would do this to me. You could have slept with anyone, but Jay, the person I see as a brother."

"You are such a hypocrite!" Abi bellowed, anger rising to an extreme level in her system. "I can't believe you're acting like the victim, claiming that I am in the wrong when for the past six months or whatever you have been sleeping with Paul behind my back!"

"So that makes us equal then does it?" Ben started to be manipulative. "Or do you just like to go round dropping your knickers for the Mitchell brothers?"

Jay's jaw dropped in horror and his eyes widened like saucers. Abi gasped with shock and hurt as she heard the words that had slipped out of Ben's mouth. No one was expecting it when Abi's hand lifted into the air and slapped Ben so hard across his left cheek and scraping her long fingernails across his cheek that it even made the palm of Abi's hand tingle. It seemed like it was all going in slow motion. Abi stared at Ben taking deep, angry breathes as her face flushed red as her body was literally bursting with anger. Ben's head slowly turned to the front with visible red scratch marks across his cheek which was bleeding slightly. Jay smacked his hand across his mouth in shock but was covering up a smirk as he couldn't believe that Abi just did that to him- however, he did deserve it.

"How dare you say that?!" Abi shouted. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think you're so perfect right now don't you Ben Mitchell, when surprise, surprise- you're not! How can you have the cheek to imply that I am the one in the wrong when take a look at your track record! You just want everyone to pity you don't you? Thinking I'm the cheat, when I'm not. You are. For the record, I'm most likely more hurt than you are as it sounds like I have been used just to hide your sexuality! How dare you use me in that way after everything I have done for you Ben? I have been there for you through thick and thin no matter what and this is how you repay me huh?! You're a disgrace!"

Ben's facial expression softened. "Look Abs, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry about what happened with Paul, I wasn't thinking straight. I love you, you're everything to me- please don't leave me!"

"Oh save it Ben," Abi spat. "I don't want to hear it. All you've done is proved who you really are and there is definitely no going back between us so just save your breath because I am not interested."

"Please Abs, this can't be over. You're the one for me. We can make this work. I will cut all ties with Paul- please Abi, I love you!" Ben cried in desperation as he tried to reach for Abi's hand in which she just jolted away.

Abi shook her head. "No Ben. It's over. I'm going to pack my stuff."

Abi turned on her heel and headed towards the hallway.

"Please Abi, don't do this!" Ben begged her. "I love you!"

Abi paused in the doorframe. She took a deep breath as she turned to look at Ben. "Do you know what the sad thing is Ben? You didn't only destroy a relationship and a future between us- you've also destroyed a friendship that we've had for the past nine years!"

Abi was about to make her way upstairs when Kathy came bursting through the back door.

"Sorry I didn't knock, I just wanted to come and see you." Kathy said in a breathless voice as she looked at Ben. She looked around at the tense scene. "Is everything alright?" She frowned.

"Oh don't worry Kathy, your little prince is fine," Abi snapped as she marched across the hallway and up the stairs.

Kathy walked over to Ben and caressed his injured cheek, "What's happened love? And what happened to your cheek?"

"Abi and I have just had a massive argument, hormones," Ben chuckled sadly. "She's just dumped me."

"Oh sweetheart," Kathy embraced her youngest son in her arms. "It'll be alright. I know all about hormones. Abi will come round, I promise."

"Let's hope so," Ben gave a sad smile on his mum's shoulder. He looked up at Jay to find him shaking his head at him with anger and disbelief. Jay stormed off upstairs.

* * *

Meanwhile up in Ben's room, a large suitcase had been chucked onto the double bed whilst Abi was throwing clothes into the suitcase with angry tears swimming down her cheeks. Abi was normally more organised but she didn't care at this time, she just wanted to get out of there, away from Ben.

She heard a faint knock on the door.

"Abs, it's me," Jay said on the other side of the door.

"Oh come in," Abi responded almost immediately. She quickly wiped away her tears as Jay opened the door.

"Are you alright?" Jay asked as he walked over to her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Abi gave him a watery smile.

Jay raised his eyebrow at her before pulling her into a hug, allowing Abi to whimper on his shoulder for a bit. "It's okay to be hurt y'know, you don't need to hide it," he reassured her.

Abi pulled away from Jay as she wiped away the remaining tears, "I'm not crying because I'm hurt. I'm just angry, I'm so angry at Ben." She continued to chuck clothes into the case.

"That's understandable," Jay agreed as he sat down on the end of the bed. "Do you want any help?" He offered.

"Could you get my stuff from the bathroom please?" She suggested.

"Yeah course," Jay gave her a small smile before making his way into the bathroom to grab Abi's stuff whilst Abi continued to throw clothes and now shoes into the large case until her drawers and her half of the wardrobe was clear.

Eventually, Jay came back with Abi's bathroom stuff and laid them out neatly on the bed.

"Thank you Jay," Abi smiled gratefully.

Jay responded with a wink, which made Abi's heart flutter. He really did know how to make her legs turn into jelly. For some reason, he always had that effect on her.

She started to arrange her bathroom stuff into the case and started to tidy the case up a bit to ensure that she would be able to close it.

"You don't have to move out y'know," Jay commented as he looked up at Abi.

"Well, what do you suggest?" Abi raised her eyebrow.

"You can sleep in my bed," Jay suggested. "And I'll sleep on the sofa."

Abi shook her head, "It wouldn't be fair on you, Jay." She grabbed hold of her makeup bag, her hairbrush, her curling tongs and her hair strengtheners along with her laptop and charger and phone charger and placed them into the suitcase. "Plus, it would be awkward considering that Ben and I have just broken up and no offence, but I'd rather not still live under the same roof as him."

Jay nodded, understandingly. "Where will you go?"

"I'll stay round grandma Dot's," Abi replied. "I know she'll take me in, she's never let us down."

Jay nodded. At least she's certain that she will have somewhere to stay, he thought with a shrug.

"We'll still see each other won't we?" Jay suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?" Abi frowned.

"I dunno," Jay shrugged. "Maybe we could meet up some time?"

Abi felt her heart skip a beat. Was Jay asking her out on a date? Or was he just implying to meet up as just friends? She was contemplating what she was going to do with her life next. She wasn't sure whether she was ready to jump back into a relationship. She just wanted to get her life back on track at the moment. Right now, it was all about moving forward.

"Maybe," she answered in a playful manner which made Jay smirk. She started to zip up her case.

"Is that everything?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Abi ran her hand through her hair.

"Do you want help bringing the case down?" He offered.

"It's like you can't wait to get rid of me," Abi teased.

"Well you can stay if you want," Jay suggested, playfully.

Abi giggled as she shook her head, "No, no. However, I will take up your offer on having a hand with the case." She grinned cheekily.

Jay tutted teasingly as he lifted the case from the bed and carried it down the stairs, parking it by the front door.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then," Jay said softly, not taking his eyes off of Abi and she couldn't take her eyes off him either.

"Yeah, see you later," Abi gave him a small smile before Jay opened the door wide open for her.

Abi lifted up the handle of the suitcase and started to wheel it out of the door and along the pavement. Jay watched her back smiling, admiring her blonde hair swaying in the breeze. Abi looked over her shoulder to notice Jay looking at her. She flashed him a wide smile before she was out of sight, but not out of mind.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _Longest chapter to date!_

 _If you read, please please please don't forget to review!:( I love receiving your reviews, it gives me motivation to write more:)_

 _Favouriting and Following would be much appreciated also!_

 _Until the next time...x_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:**_ _Don't forget! Favourite, follow and review- it's what gives me the most inspiration! ;D_

* * *

This was it. Abi Branning was so done with Ben Mitchell. She would have been okay if Ben had just told her the truth about his sexuality instead of playing away with a bloke behind her back. They would have gone their separate ways, left on good terms, or even might not have gone there in embarking on a relationship. Now, it just caused heartbreak and misery. The saddest thing was that Ben had also destroyed their long term friendship. She was there for him no matter what- she still _**loved**_ him even though he has been in prison for assault and for murdering Heather Trott. That took courage to love someone like that. But then again, she did love Jay and he didn't have an easy lifestyle to begin with either. Contemplating on it now, her life hadn't been easy either with her parents constantly being unhappy and breaking up due to her father's lying and cheating ways. Karma had caught up with him, Abi thought, sadly that was prison.

At least Abi was away from it all now. It had been a good couple of hours since she appeared on Dot's doorstep with her suitcase in hand. Dot happily let her in with welcoming arms and accommodated her with her own room which she unloaded all of her stuff. She had her own space where she could be away from everyone if she wanted to. She could lock herself away if she really wanted to and be in her own little bubble. She tended to do that a lot when she was a child, whenever she heard her parents scream down each other's throats. She admitted to herself that she's a mess herself; she hadn't really been herself for a very long time. It all started when her and Jay broke up which led to her running over her dog Tramp. She loved that dog, but most of all she loved Jay.

That's right- she _**loved**_ him. Past tense. That's what she had to keep reminding herself, despite what happened last time, despite that thernominal love making session that they shared last night. No matter how much she really enjoyed it, how could either of them been thinking straight? They had both been drinking. The most important thing is that it was protected. She couldn't go back there; she didn't know if she could, she was scared to go back. She was so heartbroken when they broke up and even though Jay ensured last night that it wasn't really because of Lola, she had a niggling feeling that it was and him saying how their paths didn't match was just an easy way out.

Abi couldn't risk getting her heart broken again, she just couldn't. She had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime!

She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid. Of course Ben was gay, he will always be gay. She could have had a way out when she smelt an abnormal aftershave on Ben that one time when the two of them were going for dinner with Abi's work colleagues. Now, she realised. That must have been Paul's aftershave that she smelt on Ben. It wasn't paranoia like Ben had managed to convince her- that was the truth. It sickened her how Ben could lie to her for months on end after everything they had been through since they were young children.

It was just the fear of being alone- she didn't want to be alone. She was scared of being alone. Abi had to be brave now. She had to face it otherwise she would just keep getting hurt, over and over again. She didn't want that. She didn't want that for herself.

"Abi!"

Abi looked up as she sat at the kitchen table to find Dot coming towards her with Rebecca following closely behind. Even though Rebecca was Sonia's daughter, Abi didn't really speak with her. She hadn't really got the chance. She didn't even know what Rebecca thought of her, but she probably thought that Abi was some sort of stuck up cow who stitched her own father up.

"Abi," Dot said merrily. "Look who's here!"

"Erm hi," Rebecca greeting awkwardly, looking down and turning her head away.

"Hi," Abi simply said, pulling a false smile.

"Rebecca's been round a friend's and she's forgot her key," Dot explained. "No one's in at her house. Is it alright if she stays with you? I have to just pop down the launderette."

"Yeah, that's fine," Abi smiled at her great grandmother before turning to Rebecca. "Do you want a tea?"

"Erm, please," Rebecca said, slightly taken aback.

Abi smiled widely at Rebecca before rising from her chair which was at the head of the table and began to put water in the kettle. She realised for a while now that she had been blocking people out of her life. Abi was determined to start over. She wanted to start building bridges with people again. She wanted to start a fresh. She wanted to be the Abi she once was. She wanted to make an effort and this is where she was going to start.

Dot smiled at Abi, "Lovely! I'll leave you two to it. I won't be long."

Dot walked down the hallway to put on her coat and pick up her handbag, "Bye!"

"Bye," Abi and Rebecca chorused as Dot left the house.

An awkward silence stood throughout the room as Abi boiled the kettle and got two mugs out and dropping a tea bag in one of them, leaving Rebecca staring at her, not knowing what to say or do. She didn't know her really.

"So," Rebecca gulped. "How come you're staying with grandma?"

Abi poured the hot and sizzling water into the two mugs as she was trying to think of the right thing to say. Jay was right- she had to keep a bit of dignity. She didn't want everyone to know the real reason as to why her and Ben broke up.

"Y'know sometimes things just don't work out," Abi smiled nervously, not that Rebecca could see her facial expression, Abi had her back to her.

"Did you and Ben Mitchell break up?" Rebecca frowned.

"Yeah, we did," Abi admitted as she got milk out from the fridge. She shrugged her shoulders, "No big deal though. Things happen, people change…"

"Blimey!" Rebecca exclaimed as she pulled out a chair and sat down. "I thought you two were going to last forever."

Abi chuckled as she glanced at Rebecca before turning away and putting milk in the tea. She had a point in a way as it wasn't that long ago since Ben and Abi had announced to the Mitchells that they were thinking of getting their own place. That seemed to happen a lot in her life, goals are set and things start looking up which gives you something to look forward to, then it crumbles before your very eyes.

Thinking back, that's _**exactly**_ what had happened between her and Jay. They had something to look forward to. They were going to move away to Bolton together and Abi was going to go to university and she would eventually become a vet. Maybe her and Jay would have decided to live in Bolton in the end. Things were really looking up for the both of them and they were both really excited. Well, Abi was. She was unsure about Jay though, because that was the reason why things suddenly flipped upside down. He got cold feet and confessed that he liked Lola and how she didn't _**feel like a home**_ anymore. He claimed that with Abi's new life, he felt like he was in a waiting room, felt that he didn't really belong anymore, that this was her life, and not his.

Abi didn't know where things were going to lead with Ben, but she was taking one step at a time. They were starting to build something, she agreed, but deep down, she didn't really know what the future held for the both of them. However, she was certain that her and Jay would have lasted forever.

"How many sugars do you want in your tea?" Abi enquired, making an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh just two," Rebecca replied, quietly.

Abi plonked two teaspoons of sugar into Rebecca's tea and one into hers before she stirred them both. As she put the hot drinks on the table and Rebecca thanked her, the sound of the doorbell invaded the privacy of the household.

Abi let out a sigh as she walked over to the door. With her head held high, she swung the door open with a brave smile painted on her lips. However, the smile soon dropped and expression turned cold as she saw the person who was standing on the doorstep- Kathy Beale. She knew why she was here and that was to talk about Ben. She was done with her relationship with Ben, she didn't want to talk about it and she was never going back. No matter what anyone said, it wouldn't change _**anything.**_

"What do you want?" Abi asked, bluntly.

"I wanted to talk to you Abi," Kathy stated calmly.

"Yeah, well now's not exactly a good time," Abi spoke, persistently.

"Ben told me about your argument," Kathy pointed out. "Look, you just have to be patient with these things darlin'."

Abi raised her eyebrow, "What exactly did Ben say to you?"

"That you and him want to get your own place and how you're fed up of being at the Mitchells, saying how you want your own place," Kathy responded, with a sympathetic smile. "It takes time these things, it's all money at the end of the day. It will happen when the time is right- you just have to wait a bit longer. I mean, if you're fed up of living at the Mitchells then why don't you move into Ian and Jane's? I'm sure they won't mind."

Abi turned her head as she laughed in disbelief. She turned back to Kathy, "Is that what he's been telling you is it?"

Kathy let out a sigh. She looked directly at Abi, "I would also like to add how hitting Ben was uncalled for. I saw what you did. He can't help how things at the moment, you just have to learn to compromise." She commented in a stern manner.

Abi rolled her eyes dramatically as she had grown even more irritated by the second, "Do me a favour and just go."

"Abi, I am just trying to help," Kathy tried to reason. "I'm Ben's mum- I don't want to see him upset."

"Yeah and where were you for the last ten years of his life?" Abi asked, bitterly.

"This isn't about me Abi," Kathy defended herself. "This is about your relationship with my son."

Abi sighed frustratedly, "Alright, if you must know. Ben and I are _**never**_ going to get back together! What he's been telling you is crap. I consider myself as a reasonable person, especially regarding living situations. The reason why myself and your _**darling**_ son broke up is because he's gay."

With that, Abi slammed the door in her face. She turned around with her back to the door as she ran a hand through her blonde hair. She took a deep breath in order to compose herself before walking back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," Abi simply said as she took a seat opposite Rebecca.

"So you and my dad have something in common," Rebecca commented, with her eyebrow arched.

"I'm sorry?" Abi frowned with a confused expression.

"I just heard your little announcement just then," Rebecca stated with a small smile. "About Ben being gay."

"Oh right," Abi's eyes widened as she looked away with embarrassment.

"It's alright Abi," Rebecca reassured. "There's no need to be ashamed. I mean, I remember how dad felt when mum first got with Tina. It was a right kick in the teeth for him, he was really hurt."

"Yeah well that's what it's like for me to be honest," Abi stared into her tea sadly, "Especially after I've known him for nearly all of my childhood."

"Yeah well at least you didn't already have a ready-made family," Rebecca sighed sadly. "It also hurt me as well when I found out that mum had got with Tina. It still hadn't digested that my parents had split up full stop and was filing for divorce. When I found out that mum and dad slept together, I was so happy, I really thought they were going to get back together…then, they told me that they weren't. That hurt me even more. I was determined to ruin things for mum and Tina, so I told Tina about my parents' one night stand."

Abi smiled sadly, "I know what it feels like. Well, sort of," Abi let out a small chuckle. "The important thing is that whatever happens, they will always love and care about you. I know it's sad that they're happy with other people but you just have to accept it."

"Yeah I know," Rebecca agreed. "To be honest, I kinda have got use to the idea. Stacey and Tina aren't that bad and plus, I have a new baby brother on the way. I just feel like things are moving too fast sometimes."

Abi chuckled, "Believe me- I know what that's like. I've seen it all. Try a mysterious woman appearing on your doorstep claiming to be your dad's wife and then a couple of months down the line, she's pregnant."

Rebecca giggled before looking up at Abi. She smiled genuinely at her, "Personally, I don't think you should be worrying about your love life. I would love to be the age you are now! Nan told me how you did really well in your GCSE's and A Levels. If that were me, I wouldn't be sitting here and leading a boring life in Walford. I would be out there travelling the world."

"Would you really?" Abi gave her a small smile. This was the first time that they had properly spoken and she felt that they already had quite a good relationship.

"Yeah definitely," Rebecca beamed.

Abi smiled at the young teenager. She had a point. She was still young and should still be living her life to the full potential. She should be going out there and doing something with her life, instead of being hung up over Ben…and even Jay.

* * *

Music was vibrating silently throughout Jay's bedroom as he lay down on his bed chilling as he contemplated on the past year or so.

Ever since she walked out of that door, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about the night before in the Arches, how him and Abi made love and then were snuggled up together as they slept peacefully through the night. It felt like they were in their own little world, like nothing else mattered.

He never intended to sleep with Abi but he didn't regret it either. Yes, they both had a bit to drink but to him, it felt just like old times- before everything had fallen apart, back to the time when everything between them was perfect and not strained. Due to his and Abi's relationship being strained, it didn't help that he had a little bit of a soft spot for Lola Pearce. They weren't romantic feelings at the time; he just cared about her and worried about her, probably due to the fact that she had a lot of baggage such as a rough lifestyle like himself and having to bring up a little girl all by herself. Plus, she was always there. Abi was too busy focusing on getting into university and kept having petty arguments, which made him turn to Lola. She always gave him the time of day. That's what he felt like he needed. Someone who was always there for him and wouldn't just push him aside.

These thoughts made Jay realise that he was not thinking straight. Abi wasn't really pushing him aside, she was just busy building a great future for the both of them, as she said...but thinking about it, it was really for her. She was going that extra bit further to getting onto the right course with her chosen university which led her to her dream job, which was to be a vet. He realised that he would be living Abi's life and not their life. It wasn't a life they would be building together and he had finally realised this when Abi confronted him at Phil and Sharon's wedding, claiming that he was in love with Lola.

He was truthful when he reassured Abi that nothing had happened between him and Lola, but he did not deny that he liked her. He couldn't do that to Abi, not after everything they have been through together, the least he could do was be honest about his feelings for Lola. Jay was determined to put his feelings aside for Lola as he was certain that his future was with Abi, he had to do the right thing. He was willing to forget about the feelings he had for Lola and just move away to Bolton with Abi like they had planned. He was certain that they would have been really happy. He knew that they would have been and all those doubts would have gone.

But Ben telling Abi how he has feelings for Lola which caused Abi to confront him about this made him realise that he couldn't do this to himself, or to Abi. She deserved better. She was starting a new life and he couldn't tag along like a lost puppy. He belonged in Walford. They fell in love when they were practically kids and Jay realised that there were plenty of other girls out there, there wasn't just Abi Branning, maybe he would find himself with Lola but he didn't know that. All he knew was that he couldn't string Abi along if those feelings for Lola were real. He wouldn't deny it but it did kill him when he ended things with her. She was his childhood sweetheart, the girl he had a built future with and he was letting her go. He decided that it was the best for both of them. When those three heartbreaking words 'It's over Abi', he could feel his pupils burning up with hot tears. It wasn't easy to break up with Abi, after everything they had been through together, he had to be strong. Ever since then, Jay always thought that a clear black line was drawn under their relationship until now…

Jay ended up being in a relationship with Lola and he admitted to Billy that he was in love with her. Well, that's what he thought. When he received that disappointing phone call on his 21st birthday from Lola, he realised that she was definitely a no go. Girls like her, you never go back to. Jay thought Lola wouldn't do that to him after four years of friendship but she did. She forgot about his birthday and left him for his best friend Dexter. He was pretty upset that Lola had left him and was in shock, but he got over it soon enough. Over a bottle of beer at the bar with Ben, he contemplated on his relationship with Lola and realised that he wasn't in love with Lola. He loved her as a friend. He probably thought that he was in love with her due to the soft spot he had for her. He did like her in a romantic way but he didn't love her in a romantic way. It didn't take Jay long to get over his split from Lola.

As he lay on his bed contemplating on his break up with Lola, he began to compare his relationships with Lola and Abi. He soon got over his split from Lola, even after what she did to him but just knows that he would never get back into a relationship with her. If he ever saw again, the least they'll be is friends and that is where it will stay, nothing more, not again, he wasn't going to go down that route again. Then, he started to think about his relationship with Abi and if Abi did what Lola did, it would take him _**ages**_ to get over it, he would even try to win her back because he loved her. He knew what he was like whenever he and Abi broke up, he was down for ages and he never got over it. Even when Abi left him for Costa Rica, he admitted that he missed Abi and how it was her that he wanted to be with no matter what they had went through.

Lola was considered as Jay's perfect match. She was fun and up for a laugh, just like Jay, even though she had a toddler in tow. She was still that daring character and they could just play off each other at times. Jay considered that him and Lola were too alike. They could be considered as a great duo, but only as friends, not in a romantic way, because amongst all that fun and madness, he needed someone to tame him. That was Abi.

Abi was always the one that tamed him, kept him under control. If it wasn't for Abi, god knows what Jay could get himself into! Whereas with Lola, god knows where he would be at! He would have probably ended up covering for her if they got into trouble because that's the sort of person he is, he had everyone's backs.

When him and Lola went on the run with Lexi due to him thinking that the police would be after him due to Lucy's phone and purse, they stayed at a B&B. Lola's way of comforting Jay was not to leave his side and end up sleeping with him. Sleeping with Lola was nice in a way but it didn't make him forget about what was going on back in Walford. When having sex with Lola, he found that Lola liked to be in control most of the time, which wasn't a problem but he liked to be in control at times too.

Jay realised that being in a relationship with Lola compared to Abi was very different, they were both very different people. Firstly Abi would have done everything under her power to stop Jay from running away, trying her best to reason with him. As a last resort, she would run away with him and no she wouldn't comfort him with some smooth words and then have sex with him like Lola did, Abi would give Jay space if he needed it, she would have spoken to him and reassured him that everything would be okay, no matter how long it would take. She would kiss him and cuddle him where necessary too. Sex would have been _**completely**_ out of the question.

Jay contemplated on his sexual experiences with both girls and decided that sex with Abi was much better. Yes, they did it rough when it was the right time and sometimes Abi took control. Surprisingly, in the bedroom and when it was just themselves, they were quite a kinky couple when they wanted to be. Other than that, when him and Abi had sex, it was _**always**_ classed as making love. It was always gentle and on occasion, it was rough. Jay liked it that way. He loved their relationship and how they were, and he would forever be kicking himself of how he let an incredible girl like Abi slip between his fingers.

 _ **Was it really worth it after what happened with Lola in the end? Was it Jay**_? His subconscious awoke as it lifted his head and pursued its lips.

Jay realised how stupid he was for leaving Abi. It was worth nothing in the end. It took him last night to realise how he truly felt about Abi, he let his heart get the better of him. Abi was heartbroken over Ben and his heart just told him to go after her, and he did. The night that they shared in the Arches was mesmerising and he would never forget it. Jay never really stopped loving Abi. He guessed that all that bickering with her was just him hiding his feelings and his heart blinding him from the fact that he was still in love with Abi and just convinced him that he liked Lola. He was confused before they broke up and was after they did. It was just a shame that it took the events of what happened the night before for Jay to realise that.

Jay jolted when there was a knock on the door and a familiar annoying squawk transferred through the wooden door.

"Jay," Ben spoke calmly.

"Go away," Jay snapped as he sat up on his bed.

"Jay please," Ben pleaded. "I want to talk to you, no more arguments, I promise."

Jay sighed loudly and frustratedly, "Fine!"

The bedroom door swung open and in came Ben, a fine long red scratch mark evident on his cheek in which Jay responded to by trying to hide his amusement.

"Look I'm sorry," Ben apologised. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did towards you and Abi."

"Too right you shouldn't have!" Jay exclaimed, "I mean, what gave you the right to have a go at us after what you've done? I mean, you're the one that's worse; you're the one that has been sleeping with another man behind Abi's back for months. It's your own fault that you got caught red handed!"

"I know I was wrong," Ben replied. "I know I was wrong for what I did to Abi, I was stupid but I still love her!"

Jay chuckled spitefully, "Oh shut up do you love her? I'm not being funny Ben but you're just messed up mate. You claim you love Abi but you still go behind her back and sleep with Paul. I mean, who does that eh? To me it sounds like you think you love Abi in that way but you're gay and just want to hide it."

Ben shook his head, "It's just a phase, honest!" He said adamantly.

"Don't give me that!" Jay spat. "You're gay Ben, face it."

"I love Abi," Ben cried. "Please Jay, you've got to help me get her back! What do I say to my dad? He's going to go mad when he finds out that I've still been sleeping with Paul!"

Jay stood up on his two feet, "Should have thought about that my son before you went and slept with him. Just face it Ben, you're gay, Abi will never go back to you after what happened last night and personally I think she deserves better."

"What like you, you mean?" Ben asked, manipulatively.

"I didn't say that did I?" Jay said, in denial. "I just meant that she deserves someone proper, whose not going to hurt her, someone who will do her good."

"Oh come on Jay, please don't tell me that little fumble in the Arches was nothing," Ben spoke in a patronising tone. "What? Was that just your way of comfort? Your way of getting over Lola perhaps?"

Jay shook his head angrily, "Nah, I don't do that, never have, it's just not in my nature. Not meaning to drop Abi in it, but Abi was just as into it last night like I was into her. It wasn't just me." Jay smirked cockily.

"So you do still like her then?" Ben raised his eyebrow.

Jay shrugged, "So what if I do? There's nothing you can do about it and personally, I stand a better chance than you do now that she knows what you're like and what you did to her." Jay snarled as he walked out of his room and down the stairs, leaving Ben horrified. He had to get back with Abi- he _**does**_ love her, no matter what anyone says.

* * *

"Look Abi will come back, don't worry," Phil reassured Ben as the two of them along with Jay, Sharon and Denny were gathered round the dinner table that evening having dinner. "She just needs time. You've had a row, she'll come back when she's ready and realise that she's made a big mistake. You know what women are like."

"Oh thanks," Sharon responded bluntly. Phil looked up at Sharon and looked away timidly as she glared at her husband.

"You know what I mean," Phil sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Look, you're both young, you're bound to have arguments. She will realise that this whole thing was stupid and will come back. Trust me, she will probably just need a bit of convincing. I mean, look at me and Sharon!"

"Yeah, we're a great example," Sharon stated, sarcastically. "Especially as you keep secrets from me and do everything in your power to hide them from me."

"Yeah but we get over that in the end don't we," Phil argued.

"You might," Sharon considered. "But I don't forget, it just adds to my list of 'Things that my husband does wrong'."

Just at that moment, the back door swung open, letting the cold air come flooding in as Abi strided in wearing her pink coat, which Jay remembered clearly as she wore that exact coat on their very first date.

"Sorry," Abi apologised. "I didn't mean to walk in like that. I didn't know you were having dinner."

"See what I mean," Phil muttered.

"That's alright Abi," Sharon smiled politely as she walked over to the young woman. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

"Erm yeah there is actually," Abi answered, awkwardly.

"Look sweetheart, we know that you and Ben had a row," Sharon butted in. "All couples have rows- it just shows they care about each other that's all. You must know that. I know your parents haven't exactly set a very good example for you, Lauren and Oscar but couples do overcome arguments. This surely can't be over between you and Ben. I'm sure there's a way you can sort things out, it doesn't have to be like this."

"It does," Abi pointed out. She looked over at Phil and Ben. Ben's gaze towards her just made her stomach feel sickened. "Look, thank you Mr Mitchell, Mrs Mitchell for accommodating me but I can't stay here anymore." She turned back to Sharon, "Could you please get me my passport?"

"Course," Sharon answered with a confused expression. With that, she walked into the living room.

"Look Abi, if it's living here that's the problem," Phil stood up, speaking in his husky voice. "Then we can sort it. We can lend you and Ben some money to put down a deposit for a place of your own."

"It's not that Mr Mitchell," Abi spoke persistently. "I can't be here anymore, I can't be with your son and I'm sorry! Please try to understand."

"It's alright Abs," Jay reassured, putting a hand out towards her in a stop sign.

Abi glanced down at Jay in which he responded by giving her a timid smile.

"No I don't understand," Phil said stubbornly as he walked over to face Abi. "Look, this is just some stupid argument. You and Ben have had arguments, you always do- we've heard ya for goodness sake! I can't see why this argument is any different!"

"Alright Phil, that's enough," Sharon spoke sternly as she handed Abi her passport. "Here you are darling."

"Thank you Mrs Mitchell," Abi gave a petite smile as she took the passport from Sharon. She turned back to Phil. "For your information Mr Mitchell, this wasn't just any old argument. It just proved that Ben and I both want different things."

After saying that, she took a quick glance at Jay. Jay felt his heart start to flutter as this gave him hope. Maybe Abi wants him just as much as he wants her, maybe she never really stopped loving him either.

"I don't think that's the case," Phil tried to reason as he grew impatient. "Ben wants to find a place with you just as much as you do. I can help you two out. Within the next month, you could have your own place."

"You don't have a month I'm afraid," Abi stated.

"What do you mean?" Phil raised his eyebrow. "You planning on going somewhere?" He enquired, his eyes slightly indicating the passport that was in the clutches of her small and petite hands.

"I am actually," Abi stated, bravely with her head held high. "I'm going to stay with Lauren and Peter in New Zealand. I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"What?" Ben said, his jaw dropping at the thought of Abi leaving the country. "You can't!"

"Oh I think you'll find that I can," Abi spat. "It's not that I should explain myself to you anyway."

"Abs…" Ben started as he slowly began to rise from his chair.

"No Ben," Abi snapped angrily, putting her hand out in a stop sign. "You and I are over. Nothing will change that so don't bother trying anything. I'm going to New Zealand and nothing is going to stop me." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Look I'll see you guys around."

With that, Abi dashed out of the Mitchell house quicker than lightning, leaving the Mitchells to gather up their thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

Jay couldn't believe it. After everything. After everything that had happened between the two of them, Abi had decided to get up and leave, leave Walford entirely to possibly start a new life in New Zealand- a life without him.

He couldn't come to terms of how she could do this, how she could do this to them. After everything that had happened the night before between them and she was just going to walk away, like nothing had happened. They hadn't really spoken since then. The only time they spoke was earlier on that day when they were walking back to the Mitchells and when Abi was just about to leave the house after her relationship with Ben had ended. He even asked her if they wanted to meet sometime, even though Abi teased him by saying 'maybe', it gave him hope. Now he just got the impression that Abi was giving him false hope, or perhaps Abi got cold feet.

He couldn't let Abi slip between his fingers, not again. He had to do something. Maybe Abi just wanted to run away from everything as she has been through hell lately, but the last thing that Jay wanted was for Abi to run away from him. Maybe Abi was scared. He couldn't let her go, he's done it before and he wouldn't let himself do it again. He was still in love with her and he wasn't just going to sit there and do nothing about it. He was going to win back _**his**_ girl.

Jay leaped off of his bed and swung his bedroom door wide open, making a bird's eye to the bottom of the stairs. He grabbed his navy blue bomber coat and quickly shoved it on. He didn't bother announcing to the entire household of his departure, it's not like they notice him being around anyway.

* * *

"Ooohh I say!" Dot exclaimed in disbelief as she sat back on her armchair. "New Zealand's a long way away!"

"Come on Mrs B," Fatboy smiled genuinely. "This is a trip of a lifetime."

"Yeah," Abi agreed, smiling confidently. "Lauren and Peter said that I could stay with them."

"Don't you think that it would be a bit too much for them?" Dot contemplated, "You know with Louie, he's only 3 months old."

"Well, they said that I am welcome to stay with them," Abi frowned. "And that they're more than happy to have me." She let out a sigh as she looked down at her hands, "Plus after everything that's happened, I need to get away."

"Well, why don't you go and stay with Tanya and little Oscar?" Dot smiled, "They must be missing you!"

Abi chuckled bitterly, shaking her head, "No. No, mum doesn't even care about me, not really. I mean last February, she didn't even _**bother**_ to come see me. Who does that? Do you know the last time I heard from her? Four weeks ago. I bet she's been on and off the phone to Lauren non-stop. I mean, come on, Lauren has always been centre of attention in our family!" Abi rolled her eyes.

"We'd never think that you're actually going to go and stay with her," Fatboy joked.

"Yeah, well it's not exactly Lauren's fault is it?" Abi shrugged her shoulders.

Dot smiled sympathetically, "Well that will be another one of Jim's grandchildren that will be gone. It's amazing how you've all suddenly grown up!"

Abi smiled reassuringly, "Grandma Dot, it's not like you won't see me again. I will be back. I just need time away from here…maybe a long time."

"Well I'll miss you dearly," Dot responded.

Just at that moment, a sharp ring enlightened the small household. Dot put down her small cup of tea on the coffee table, "I better get that, it's probably Cora because you forgot her key," Dot rolled her eyes as she slowly lifted herself off of her armchair and walked out of the living room.

Once Dot was out of sight, Fatboy turned to Abi and leaned in towards her, "Are you sure you want to go, Abs? I mean, I know you've had it rough but you don't have to go."

"No, I have to go," Abi stated persistently. "I need to get away from here for a while. For once I am putting me first," she smiled with pride whilst Fatboy rubbed her shoulder.

"Abi," Dot made her appearance in the living room doorway. "There's someone here to see you."

Abi and Fatboy spun their heads towards Dot's direction. Abi gulped as she stared at that familiar man with the _**African sunset**_ hair colour. She could feel her own heart beat so fast that she thought for a moment that it was going to suddenly come flying out of her chest.

Jay was staring at her, his green eyes just lingering towards her direction. Abi could have sworn that Jay didn't even blink once, his eyes were just glued onto hers, just like hers was on him.

"Erm come on Mrs B," Fatboy began awkwardly as he slowly stood up. "I think we should leave these two to it. How about we go for a quick drink in the Vic, yeah?" He suggested.

"Yeah, but I'm not having a gin though," Dot stated adamantly, wriggling her index finger towards him, which made Fatboy and Abi smirk as they tried to maintain their laughter. At least that distracted Abi from what was about to happen, even if it was just for a very short while.

"Whatever you say Mrs B," Fatboy chuckled. "See you in a bit Abs." He then turned to Jay and patted him on the back, "Good to see ya Jay-Z!"

"You too mate," Jay agreed, genuinely.

Within a few small moments, Dot and Fatboy had left the house which just left Jay and Abi. Alone.

All that could be heard briefly was Christmas music that was coming from the late night market.

Abi watched Jay closely as he slowly moved round the sofa to face her. Jay was looking down at the ground as he shifted his feet. "Alright," he murmured.

"Hi," Abi gulped. She looked away slightly as she started to play with her hands. She knew why Jay was here and she didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know what to say to him. She had put herself in a position where she had no idea how she was going to wriggle out of it.

"So…you're leaving then?" Jay asked slowly and calmly.

"Yeah," Abi responded in a very quiet tone. She took a deep breath, "It won't be forever. I think it's for the best." She tried her very hardest to reason. That was the only thing she could come out with, it was the only thing that slipped inside her head.

"For the best?!" Jay exclaimed in disbelief, "Please Abi, enlighten me how you think it's for the best."

"Jay," Abi sighed as she rose to her feet. "Please try to understand. I know it's sudden."

"How can I _**possibly**_ understand Abi? I mean, I really don't get you sometimes. With everything that happened last night between us and you decide to get up and leave."

"Last night was great," Abi commented. "It really was. I hadn't felt that way in a long time."

"Felt like what?" Jay frowned.

"Like…I was wanted," Abi gave a small awkward smile.

"Well let me tell you something, you are wanted," Jay stated, confidently.

"Am I though?" Abi chuckled bitterly as she folded her arms across her chest. "I mean, you left me for my best friend and Ben left me for another man! So yeah, I would _**definitely**_ say that I am wanted."

"You really are, Abs," Jay said softly. "After last night, I thought we were going to start something again."

"What that we would get back together?" Abi questioned in disbelief.

"Well yeah," Jay shrugged.

Abi laughed nervously as she shook her head rapidly, "Oh no Jay, I can't. I can't go back there. Not again."

"Why not?" Jay exclaimed, "Don't you fancy me or something?!"

Abi put her hand at the side of her neck as she felt her cheeks start to heat up slightly, "No, it's not that- how could you even think that?"

"Because the Abi I knew would bend over backwards just to be with me."

Abi's brown pools expanded as she stared at Jay, horrified, "Yeah I know that I have been treated like a mug nearly all my life and running around for people but there's no need to rub it in! But I guess I now know that was what you thought when we were together," Abi added bitterly, pulling a tight lipped cocky smile.

"Abi, you knew that I never took advantage of you and I never would," Jay commented honestly. "Seriously right, you are the kindest and sweetest girl that I've ever had the pleasure to meet."

"Yeah well I'm not the Abi that you knew anymore," Abi spoke with a hint of sadness leaking out of her vocals. Her brown eyes turned away from Jay as she started to play with her hands.

"I bet she's still there somewhere," Jay suggested softly, with a smile creeping upon his lips.

It took all the strength Abi possibly had to prevent herself from smiling. He still had that magic touch where he always found a way to make her smile no matter what the situation was.

Abi looked up at Jay with a stern expression painted across her face. She was determined not to fall into Jay Brown's _**trap**_ again. "Well, she's not. The Abi you knew died on the same day you ended things because you fell in love with my best friend," she growled. "I think you should go."

"Abi I wasn't in love with Lola," Jay rolled his eyes. He couldn't stress this enough. "I drifted off y'know, lost my way a bit, I did like Lola but I wasn't in love with her. She was nothing compared to you."

Abi chuckled bitterly, "How am I supposed to believe that? Yes, I was working really hard to get into uni which I thought I had your support on. I never expected you to _**lose your way**_."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he added quietly.

"Yeah well you did," Abi gulped. "How do I know that you won't go wandering off whenever the next girl comes along? I can't put myself through that again Jay, I just can't!"

"That won't happen," Jay insisted. "I swear."

"How do you know that, Jay?" Abi enquired.

"Because after everything, somehow I've come back to you," Jay stated, confidently. "It's meant to be Abs."

"If it was meant to be then you wouldn't have gone for another girl," Abi scoffed. "You would have stayed with me and we could have been having a life in Bolton right now!"

"Yeah well not everything is a fairy tale Abs," Jay retorted.

"Yeah well I realised a long time ago that happy endings are only just for fairy tales," Abi snarled.

"Well maybe we'll get our happy ending," Jay commented. "I don't think I ever stopped loving you not really, when you were with Ben, I couldn't help but envy Ben a bit as I knew that deep down, I still had feelings for you. I guess I was just being stubborn and was kidding myself the whole time. Lola was nothing compared to what we had. I want us to try again."

"So I'm supposed to fall for that am I?" Abi questioned. "I'm supposed to fall for that speech and then eventually get my heart broken again."

"It won't happen," Jay said persistently. "Abi, I want to be with you. You're the one that I want. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"And how am I supposed to believe that?" Abi raised her eyebrow. "After everything's that happened over the past year or so, how am I supposed to believe that I'm the one you want to be with?"

"Well I guess that I'll just have to prove myself won't I," Jay said casually.

"Yeah I guess so," Abi replied with a bittersweet tone.

Jay took a wide step towards Abi and slowly leaned in towards her. When Abi realised what Jay was doing, Abi quickly jolted her body backwards.

"What are you doing?" Abi demanded in a shaky voice.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Jay exclaimed, "Get down on one knee and propose marriage?!"

"As if you'd do that," Abi scoffed.

"I did once if you remember," Jay retaliated.

"Yeah, but that was just to stop me from going to Costa Rica," Abi argued.

"It was partly the reason I'll admit but it was mainly because I loved you and I still do," Jay gulped. "And you never know, maybe one day I will propose again because I want to and because I love you."

"Yeah well we haven't even got back together yet so don't think too far ahead," Abi folded her arms across her chest.

"What you're now saying that you do want us to try again?" Jay raised his eyebrow.

"No that's not what I'm saying," Abi snapped. "We were practically kids when we were together Jay. Like you said, it's time to grow up."

"I didn't mean it like that," Jay tried to explain. "I was in a mess back then. I thought we had to move on and find ourselves. You were going to university and then there was me, nothing was going to change for me, I was just going to be a mechanic in Bolton."

"And you also wanted to stay in Walford because of Lola," Abi retorted.

"Not really no," Jay spat. "I just didn't want to string you along if the feelings I had for Lola were real."

"It looks like the feelings you had for Lola were real though," snarled Abi. "I mean, you were going to go off to Newcastle with her, start a new life with her if you didn't get arrested. If she didn't dump you for Dexter then I bet you would be with her right now!"

"To be honest, I wasn't actually sure about moving to Newcastle in the end because I was happy here," Jay snapped. "I could still be happy without Lola."

"I must say that it surprises me as you spent nearly all your time with her, even when we were together."

"She was a friend, Abi," Jay growled.

"Yeah she's really some sort of friend if you developed romantic feelings for her!" Abi hissed, "She was my best friend, Jay. After everything that happened between us and you go for Lola, forgetting about her trying to break us up when she first came to Walford."

"Well it looked like you had forgotten as she was your _**best friend**_ ," Jay mocked.

"No I didn't Jay, as you know I am not the one that holds grudges for long so I moved on," Abi stated. "But it didn't make me forget what Lola did, which made it hard for me to trust her with you but I trusted you with her. Guess I was just stupid!"

"I just saw Lola as a little sister," Jay admitted. "I thought I had feelings for Lola but thinking back on it, I didn't. I had feelings for her like a sister."

"I bet you wouldn't be saying that if she didn't leave you for Dexter," Abi pointed out, bitterly. Abi clasped hold of her breath as she realised something. "Is that what I am? Some rebound? Someone who thinks will go back to you because Lola has decided that she doesn't want you?"

"That's not fair Abs," Jay gulped.

"Well it's what it looks like," Abi hissed.

"Abs, why can't you just trust me? Please believe me when I say that I love you. Yes we broke up over a year ago because I felt like we had to find ourselves but I found out that I belong with you," Jay confessed. "Please Abs, just give us another go. I want us to. It doesn't have to be rushed- we can just take it nice and slow."

"No Jay I can't," Abi told him sternly. "We're over, we're done with. We _**cannot**_ be together."

"Why not?" Jay pleaded, "What we had was so special, we were good together. You were good for me, you tamed me."

"Yeah, well not anymore," Abi shrugged as she diverted her eyes away from Jay's. "I don't want to get back with you…it scares me."

"What have you got to be scared of you nutter?" Jay said reassuringly as he started to reach out for Abi. "I love you, Abi. I'm nothing like Ben. I've always taken care of you and treated you right. I would never be unfaithful or play away behind your back."

Before Jay could get hold of Abi's hands, Abi quickly pulled them away and looked up at him coldly. "Oh, so have you forgotten about Kitty?"

Jay gulped. He should really think about his way of words, "No, of course not," Jay murmured. "But you know the story."

"Yeah, I do," Abi chuckled bitterly. "See this is the problem I think we seem to be having. I had a pregnancy scare and I felt I couldn't have this baby if there was one growing inside me but you wanted the baby which left our relationship strained for the rest of the holiday. So, when you felt things weren't going your way or we weren't getting anywhere, you went and kissed Kitty! Just like with Lola, I was preparing to go to university and make a life _**for us**_ and because I wasn't spending enough time with you and felt our relationship was strained, you went to Lola as she was always willing to play with you wasn't she!?" Abi pouted mockingly.

Jay rolled his eyes, "Now you're just being ridiculous."

"Well maybe you should go," Abi hissed.

"No," Jay said adamantly. "Please Abi, you remember how happy we were and how great we were together, having picnics in the park, chilling in the Arches eating fish and chips, watching movies round yours or mine, going up West occasionally. We can be that couple again," Jay added sounding convincing. "Just give us another go."

"No Jay," Abi said frustratedly. "I don't want us to waste years splitting up and getting back together again and never really being happy."

"We won't," Jay spoke in a persistent manner. "I was happy with you and I will be happy with you."

"Yeah you really were happy with me which was why you fell for Lola," Abi stated sarcastically with her eyes rolling. She watched as Jay let out an exasperated sigh as he looked down, pinching the top of his nose. "I think you should go, you're clearly not getting anywhere."

Jay immediately looked up, "Abi please believe me when I say that I love you," Jay begged. "I really do love you, babe. Please just give me another chance. You can't say that you don't love me back or that you don't feel anything for me. I know you Abs. If you didn't feel that way about me then what happened last night wouldn't have happened."

"Well you're wrong," Abi stated darkly. "I don't love you, not anymore."

Hiding her sadness, she watched closely as Jay's jaw dropped and he swallowed a mouthful of salvia. "Well I'll see myself out."

"Okay," Abi simply said.

She lingered behind him as he walked out of the living room and into the hallway. Once Jay reached the front door, he turned round to steal a glance at Abi. "I wish you weren't going to New Zealand," he admitted.

"Yeah well I'm sorry to disappoint you," Abi apologised, coldly.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around," Jay murmured.

"Guess so," Abi shrugged casually.

Jay turned his head away as he slowly opened the door and stepped outside. Abi rushed to the door and slammed the door shut as she tried to compose herself. She choked up as tears automatically streamed down her face. It took all the strength within her to turn Jay away. Her heart was physically aching for him. Of course she still loved Jay, she was deeply in love with him but she felt that she couldn't be with him. It annoyed her that Jay knew her too well. Of course she still loves him and Jay was right, she wouldn't have slept with him no matter state she was in if she didn't have feelings for him in that way.

For over a year, she had been kidding herself. She didn't really love Ben. When living at the Mitchells, seeing Jay actually brightened her day but she just didn't realise that. Not until now. She never really stopped loving Jay. She never really got over him either. Jay was right, a few years back, she would have jumped at the chance to be with him no matter what anyone thought or said. But not now. She couldn't be with him. She couldn't go through that, not again. She couldn't do that to herself. She couldn't keep living in the past. She had to look forward now, she had to move on…

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ I am so sorry that it took me over two weeks to update! Time just crept up on me. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and as always, I would absolutely love to know what you guys think. So please, review, favourite and follow!

Much love, Cally x


	7. Chapter 7

It had been two days since Jay came over to Dot's, declaring his _'undying'_ love to Abi. Even if what Jay was saying to her was true, Abi refused to go back there. She didn't want to spend a period of time with someone and committing herself to them to find that she would be dropped as soon as things got a bit tough. Her mother had always said that Jay wasn't really good enough for her and maybe, she was right all along. Abi considered herself to be a hardworking and independent woman, who intends to do well in life and not to be dragged down by people who are not worth her time. Those people included Jay, Lola and especially Ben. She fell into their trap and allowed them to walk all over her freely. _**Well not anymore,**_ she thought as she pursued her lips after painting her lips scarlet red.

Abi decided that this was a new start for her. She was done with Ben, Jay and Lola and she was determined to move on with her life. Maybe she would find herself a new life in New Zealand. She had her whole life to meet her prince charming and it didn't just stop at Ben and Jay. Abi was stubborn and didn't want to admit it to anyone but she did still love Jay. If she was honest, she realised that she still was in love with him a couple of months ago. Even though she convinced herself that she was in a happy relationship with Ben, she was getting quite close to Jay again. Like, when they bumped into each other after a day's work, they would occasionally go and grab some chips before walking back home together. She just couldn't admit to anyone the strong feelings that she had for Jay. However, she believed that those feelings would fade away in time. She believed that she would meet the right one one day, someone really special, someone who would actually want her and be just as in love with her as she would be with them.

Abi smiled timidly to her reflection in the mirror as she took a step back and observed herself. Her blonde hair was straight and she was wearing a black lace long sleeved dress which went down to her knees along with black tights and black leather knee high boots. To finish it off, she was wearing a grey gillet. Tonight, she was meeting up with her friend Holly in the Vic. She hadn't seen her in a while so thought it would be nice to catch up and see her again before she jetted off to New Zealand, not knowing when she was going to return.

Abi grabbed her silver clutch and darted out of her bedroom, turning off her bedroom light in the process. She made her way down the stairs and into the living room to the sight of Dot and Fatboy who were sitting on the sofa watching the TV.

"Grandma, I'm off now," Abi announced.

Dot and Fatboy spun their heads round to face the young blonde. Fatboy stood up and faced her.

"Where are you off to dressed up like a queen?" Fatboy teased, "You going on a hot date, eh?"

"No, I'm just meeting up with a school friend," Abi giggled as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as she felt her cheeks start to heat up a little. "I'm meeting her in the Vic," she added.

"Oh well I might as well tag along with you if you don't mind," Fatboy wondered as he grabbed his mobile phone from the coffee table. "Tamwar's probably there!"

"Yeah, that's fine," Abi replied.

"That's it Arthur, make sure Abi's safe, I don't want her on her own, it's dark out there," Dot added, concerned.

"Don't worry Mrs B, I'll take good care of her!" Fatboy reassured, "See you later!"

Abi said her goodbyes before her and Fatboy left the house and headed over to the Vic.

* * *

It was tense in the Mitchell household. Ben was sitting on the sofa with his elbow resting on the arm of the sofa and biting his nails. His legs were crossed. Behind his specs, his eyes looked narrow and focused on the television in concentration. Jay, however, his legs were swung over the armchair as he slouched comfortably on the armchair as he did nothing but focus on the television.

It hadn't been the same since Ben found out that Jay slept with Abi the night that him and Abi broke up, to be honest, Jay didn't want things to be the same. He was done with the Mitchells. When push came to shove, Jay would go like he was nothing. Ben always complained how Jay was the son that Phil never had, but deep down, Jay couldn't beat Ben, no way. Phil would do anything for Ben in a heartbeat and he would do whatever it took to ensure that his son, his flesh and blood was safe and happy- even if it involved pulling Jay down.

Jay felt disgusted with Ben's behaviour. For months on end, Ben was going behind Abi's back and running off to Paul. It felt like he had used Abi just to hide his true sexuality, to convince his father that he was straight when Jay knew that he weren't, Ben's mum Kathy had only been back five minutes and she even knew. Abi used to be such a clever girl (she still is!) and Jay thought that she wouldn't be so silly to go out with an old friend who she knew full well was gay. Sexuality didn't just change and switch off like a tap. Maybe it was his fault, maybe he hurt her so much when he left that she clung onto the only thing that she felt was closest to her so she wouldn't be alone. Sadly, that person happened to be Ben.

He didn't necessarily feel guilty about sleeping with Abi either. Despite what Abi _**apparently**_ now thinks of their night of passion in the Arches, he enjoyed it. He didn't care how things were with Ben now, he was fed up of being there for him and being forced to stick by his side. It made Jay's blood boil how Ben was raging and saying how hurt he was that Abi slept with him when for _**months**_ he was doing the dirty with Paul behind his back.

This was it. He was done with the Mitchells. He was always second best. If they ditched him, he didn't care, not anymore.

"Come on you two," Phil's rusty voice echoed throughout the living room as him and Sharon entered. "I'm fed up of seeing the pair of you moping around. We're going for a drink at the Vic."

"I don't think that's a good idea dad," Ben stammered, feeling concerned for his father's drinking.

"Why not?" Phil began to raise his voice, "I just want to have a drink with my family, what's wrong with that?!" He demanded.

"It's alright Ben," Sharon reassured as she rubbed up and down Phil's shoulder soothingly. "It's all under control. It will be nice to get out of the house for a bit."

"And what about Denny?" Jay frowned.

"He's round Ian and Jane's," Sharon confirmed. "Now come on, get a move on. We're leaving in 5!"

* * *

"I still can't believe that you're moving to New Zealand," Holly whined as her and Abi sat in the comfy seats which were situated in the corner of the Vic with their drinks in their hands. "We've been friends for _ages,_ it feels weird that you're moving away." She frowned as she used her straw to slowly stir her drink as she looked up at Abi sadly.

"I'm not moving away," Abi chuckled. "I'll just be staying in New Zealand for a while with Lauren and Peter."

"Well you don't know how long you'll be away for or when you'll be back," Holly argued. "So that's practically moving away!"

Abi laughed as she looked at her old friend. Holly had long brunette hair which rested neatly on her shoulders. She had big hazel green eyes and she had a golden earring hooked onto her nose. She had a good helping of eye mascara and her eyeliner was accurate which ended in a stylish flick and to finish off the look, she was wearing red lipstick. Holly was wearing a navy blue floral tunic dress with black Chelsea boots.

"Well I'll be back before you know it," Abi ensured, with an eye roll.

"So anyway, you and Ben, how are you bearing up?" Holly wondered, biting her lip gently due to the delicate subject that she had just brought up.

"You know what," Abi raised her eyebrow whilst grinning. "I'm absolutely fine!"

"Blimey Abs, how much have you had?" Holly giggled.

"I'm not drunk," Abi scoffed. "I'm serious- I'm fine about my breakup with Ben. I'm upset that he did this to me as we were such good friends before we started dating. Maybe I shouldn't have dated him. I should have known to be honest. Oh well, life goes on!"

"Wow," Holly smirked. "I must say, you are taking this much better than you did when you broke up with Jay."

"Yeah…" Abi dragged out the word awkwardly as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, hoping that her cheeks wouldn't suddenly start to burn up.

Just at that moment, the doors to the Queen Vic swung open and without hesitation, the Mitchells came bowling in- Phil Mitchell in front with Ben, Jay and Sharon dragging behind him. They stood at the bar and ordered their drinks and Abi swallowed some salvia as she watched them.

"Hey Abs, would you like to go somewhere else?" Holly suggested, softly.

"No it's alright," Abi smiled confidentially at her friend. "I can't hide away forever and I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of!"

"Too right," Holly smirked. She would admit, a couple of years ago, Holly did worry for Abi as she felt that she let people walk all over her and treat her like rubbish. Holly felt concerned for her friend back then, but now, she felt that she didn't need to worry. For some reason, Abi was a stronger person and wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

Abi turned her head when she noticed that the Mitchells were walking over to a nearby table. Jay clocked her from the corner of his eye and gave her a sweet smile. However, Abi just maintained a blank expression and turned back to Holly, stealing the odd glances of Jay during the process. When Abi was fully looking back at Holly, Holly was smirking at her.

"Something's happened between you and Jay," Holly licked her lips.

"What?" Abi laughed awkwardly. "No of course not, what on earth makes you think that?" She sipped her drink.

"Come on," Holly pleaded. "I saw the way you two looked at each other just then. You didn't look at each other like that when you were with Ben, so something must have happened. So come on, spill."

"Alright," Abi sighed. "But you must _**not**_ say a word."

"I won't say anything I promise," she answered excitedly.

Abi sighed exasperatedly, "Alright, well, when I walked in on Ben and…Paul, Jay and I went for a drink and before the night ended, Jay and I…we slept together."

"You what!?" Holly exclaimed in surprise as she clasped her hands over her mouth. The Mitchells turned round to face their direction.

"Ssshh, keep it down," Abi hissed.

"How did it happen?" Holly wondered.

"Well you know, the manly parts enter the woman's parts," Abi mumbled, awkwardly.

"That's not what I mean," Holly rolled her eyes.

"We got slightly drunk and we went to the park. I started crying as the day's events had all built up and I just…I just remembered being with Jay in the park I guess and then we just started kissing, he said that there was no need to cry anymore. Then, it led us into the Arches and you know the rest…"

"Wow," Holly giggled. "So it wasn't in a bed…"

"It was in the back of a customer's car," Abi simply said.

Holly burst out laughing, "Abigail Branning, you saucy mare!" She let out a breath, "So have you and him spoken since then? What's happened? Please don't tell me that you two haven't talked, that's like the worst move especially with the history between the two of you!"

"Well he came round a couple of days ago and told me not to go to New Zealand. He also said that he loved me and wanted to be with me."

Holly gasped loudly, "Oh my god! What did you say?"

Abi shook her head sadly, "I couldn't. I...I said that I didn't love him back, I didn't feel the same way as he did. I couldn't go back Holly, not after everything that we went through, with Lola. How was I supposed to know that he wouldn't fall for another girl as soon as they flutter their eyelashes? How was I supposed to believe that I would be the only girl he would want? I couldn't put myself through that; I couldn't put myself through all that heartache, not again."

Holly sighed sadly as she gazed at her oldest friend. She knew how hurt Abi was when Jay ended things and she understood why she would feel this way. She was one of the people who comforted Abi when she suddenly burst into tears. She swore that if she ever saw Lola Pearce again, she would strangle her.

* * *

"You gonna get the next round in Jay?" Phil slurred as he gulped down the last of his scotch.

They had been in the Vic for an hour and a half and Phil was almost out of it- the beauty of being an alcoholic! Ben was eyeing his father up concerned for his wellbeing. Jay knew that Ben _**hated**_ it when his dad drank; it was very hard to stick around when he was drinking and behaving so badly.

"Don't you think you've had enough darling?" Sharon wondered. "How about we go home, put our feet up and watch the telly?" She suggested eagerly, with a wide smile on her face.

Phil looked at his wife and took once glance at her before saying, "Boring!" in a slurred and dragged out tone. Sharon sighed sadly as she turned away, wishing that she could have her husband back and go back to the way things were.

"Same again?" Jay prompted as he rose off of the stool that he was sitting on. Phil, Sharon and Ben looked up at him and briefly nodded.

As Jay turned his back on the table, he could hear Phil bellow merrily, "That's the spirit!"

He sighed heavily as he strolled over to the bar and leant over it as he waited to be served. Stacey Branning and Martin Fowler suddenly entered the pub and stood beside him. Stacey let out an exasperated sigh as she rubbed her massive baby bump- she was due to give birth this month.

"Hey Stace, I noticed that you have a 'Sold' sign outside your old flat this morning," Jay mentioned briefly as he started to make conversation with the couple.

"Yeah, finally!" Stacey sighed with relief, "I think the couple are moving in tomorrow with their child." She turned to Martin as she supported the bottom of her back with one hand and rubbing her bump continuously and furiously with the other. "Oh Martin, I'm going to go and sit down," she announced exhaustedly. "My back is killing me!"

Just at that moment, without warning, Denise Fox entered the pub with a young man in his 20's following closely behind and wary of his surroundings. Jay frowned as he observed the scene closely- the bloke looked strangely familiar.

"Jordan!" Abi screeched. Jay's eyes immediately followed the sound of Abi's excited voice as he watched her race over to him with Holly following closely behind. Jay swallowed a lump in his throat as Abi wrapped her arms around Jordan's neck tightly as she embraced him in a hug. He heard Jordan chuckle as he watched him hold the one he loves close to him.

"Alright love, what can I get ya?" Linda asked happily as she stood in front of Jay from behind the bar and dragging him away from the sight of Jordan and Abi.

Abi was laughing happily as she continued to hug her oldest friend. The alcohol that she consumed was probably starting to get to her head a bit now. Eventually she pulled away. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?" Abi asked excitedly.

"Just a flying visit, y'know," Jordan responded. His eyes wandered up and down Abi's body, "You've changed since I last saw you."

"Well I've matured into a woman," Abi giggled. "I was a kid when you last saw me."

"You're actually Jordan from school!" Holly exclaimed in surprise. "I haven't seen you in yonks!"

"Yeah, that's me," Jordan confirmed, cheekily. Holly giggled as the two of them shared a quick hug. Jordan turned to Abi, "So, how have you been?"

"There you go," Linda put the drinks down on the bar in front of Jay.

"Cheers," Jay mumbled as he gave Linda the money before taking the ordered drinks back to his table, trying his hardest to drain the thought of Jordan and Abi together out of his head.

"That's all we need," Ben grumbled as he took a sip of his drink. "Jordan's back."

"Yeah guess so," Jay sighed as he sat back in his allocated seat and took a swig of his cloudy pint.

Phil concentrated on his son's expressions and rolled his eyes. Even though Phil despised Max Branning, he wanted Ben to have a woman, Abi Branning was good enough. He didn't really know what happened between the two of them but he just wanted things to be sorted. He wanted his son to have a woman on his arm, not exactly wanted, more like Phil _**needed**_ Ben to have a woman on his arm. Phil wanted to keep the family name pure. He refused to let anyone go the wrong direction. He was scared for Ben to come out of the closest, announce that he's gay, and then be with a man. Who knew whether Ben would have had children? Even if he did, as far as Phil was concerned, the children wouldn't exactly be pure, the children wouldn't have come from a woman and a woman would not parent the child. Phil needed a woman to bear Ben children and he was determined for it to be Abi. Abi had been friends with Ben for years and she always seemed so willing in their relationship. He needed Ben to get back with Abi.

"For god sake son," Phil growled as he slammed his pint glass down. "You got one up on Jordan Johnson once, you can do it again."

"Phil!" Sharon exclaimed in disbelief.

"What? It's true, even if it involved whacking him over the head with a spanner!" Phil exclaimed.

Ben sighed, "What's the point? There's plenty more fish in the sea."

Phil leaned in closer to Ben. Ben got a waft of Phil's breath which reeked of alcohol. "Talk to her," Phil stated warningly.

Ben and Phil started to have a tense staring match with one another. Ben swallowed a lump in his throat as he watched him closely, watching as he made him feel timid and intimidated. Ben sighed heavily, "Fine!"

The sound of Ben's stool legs scraping across the floor was heard as he rose to his feet. He took a deep breath as he confidently walked over to where Jordan, Abi and Holly were gathered around deep in conversation.

Ben coughed behind them which made their heads turned.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Holly asked disgustedly as she rolled her eyes with her arms folded arrogantly across her chest.

"Abi," Ben said softly as he gazed at her, however Abi's eyes just stabbed daggers in his direction.

"What do you want Ben?" Abi demanded, "I have nothing to say to you."

"I just want to talk to you," Ben pleaded.

"Hold up, what's going on?" Jordan interrupted, trying his hardest not to smirk. "You two were joined to the hip five years ago."

"Yeah, well not anymore," Abi stated bitterly. "I want nothing to do with him."

"Oh yeah, why's that?" Jordan asked intriguingly, his eyes widening at his sudden interest.

"Why don't you mind your own business yeah?!" Ben commanded angrily.

"Erm, don't talk to him like that," Abi spat.

"Abi, please, just let me talk to you!" Ben begged, "I love you."

"You what?" Jordan smirked. He turned to Abi, "Did you two date?"

"Yeah," Abi said, feeling embarrassed.

"And I've come to get her back," Ben hissed.

"No chance," Holly scoffed. She glared at Ben, "Oh yeah sunshine, I've heard all about what happened. How you…"

"Holly, stop!" Abi commanded.

"What did he do?" Jordan raised his eyebrow.

"Why don't you just mind your own business Jordan?!" Ben bellowed, infuriatingly.

"Why? What you gonna do about it?" Jordan tormented, moving towards Ben.

Ben snarled, "Oh you really thought you were it back in the day didn't you. You were nothing but a bully you know that."

"Aw, are you going to cry?" Jordan whimpered. "Boo hoo! Don't worry Benny, I'm sure there's other girls out there, you know someone who will _**actually**_ sink down to your level. Actually, to be honest, no one can really go down as low as you."

Ben was taking deep angry breaths and without thinking, his hand clenched into a fist and his arm swung right back before walloping Jordan straight across the jaw.

"Ben!" Jay and Abi shouted in unison with disbelief drawn across their faces. Jay quickly ran over to the scene.

"Well done son!" Phil laughed happily as he clapped his hands together loudly whilst coming over to the scene with Sharon following behind him and giving him a disapproving look.

"You never change do you eh, Jordan," Ben shouted angrily, going as red as a tomato in the face. He looked at Jordan closely as he watched him rub his jaw and staring darkly back at him.

"You're so going to regret what you just did," Jordan growled as he came back towards him but Ben just pushed him back. All that could be heard was the shrieking from Jay, Abi and Denise, telling them to stop fighting. Jay managed to pull Ben back and gripped hold of him tightly in order to prevent him from going back to Jordan.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Denise said irritatedly as she pulled Jordan's arm to bring him closer to her. "Let's just go back to the house."

"You lot, out," Mick ordered, his index finger directing towards the pub doors and looking directly at the Mitchells.

"Don't argue, just go," Sharon said sternly as she led her family out of the pub.

"Hi Jay," Holly teased as Jay walked past them. At the corner of his eye, Jay noticed Abi try to hush her friend up. He turned back to face Abi to be presented with a small smile by herself. Jay couldn't help but return the smile before following after his so called family out of the pub.

"I guess I'm going now Abs," Jordan sighed sadly.

"Yeah sorry about Ben," Abi frowned.

"Don't worry about it," Jordan smiled genuinely. "How about you and I go for a drink sometime?" He suggested, "As friends."

"Yeah I'd like that," Abi smiled. "I'll see you later."

"See ya," Jordan smiled briefly before leaving the pub with Denise.

Abi sighed heavily as she turned to Holly, running her hand through her blonde locks, "I can't believe Ben!" She began to rant as she escorted herself back to the table with Holly walking beside her. "I mean, how dare he come over!? After everything he's done!"

Abi growled frustratedly as she sat back in her seat and took a large swig of her drink. Holly giggled as she sat down beside her friend.

"Don't worry about Ben, don't worry about Jordan, let's worry about Jay," Holly grinned as she took a swig of her drink.

Abi sighed, "Holly, I told you. I can't be with Jay. I just physically can't put myself through that again."

"Put yourself through what?" Holly raised her eyebrow.

"You know what!" Abi exclaimed, "Everything that happened between us, everything we built together and then he decides that that wasn't the life he really wanted and confesses that he likes Lola."

Holly rolled her eyes before looking at her good friend closely, " _ **Fuck**_ Lola, she's gone! This isn't about Lola. This is about you and Jay."

"There is no me and Jay," Abi rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Just hear me out," Holly responded in a stern manner. "I'll tell you something right, Jay had not stopped looking at you the whole time he had been here."

"Yeah until the next girl who flutters her eyelashes comes along," Abi stated, with sarcasm dripping out of her vocals.

"Who says there's going to be another girl?!" Holly exclaimed. She reached for Abi's hand and gave it a squeeze, "It's okay to be scared you know hun. I've known you for years, I can tell that you still have strong feelings for him."

"I've never stopped," Abi admitted sadly. "Not really."

Holly smiled sympathetically, "It's not good to dwell on the past. Yes, you and Jay have been going your separate ways for over a year and your paths hadn't seemed to have crossed ever since then as you appeared to have moved on, but things do changed. Feelings do come back. It happens all the time like on TV shows, for example- Steve and Michelle from Corrie. They split up, went their separate ways, went with other people but they got back together somewhere, old feelings came back and they got married in the end. They're happy. They're not dwelling on the past."

Abi tutted, "I love how you're comparing my love life to a soap opera."

"Well that's just an example," Holly grinned. "It happens in real life too. The way Jay was looking at you tonight was like you were the only girl in his world, y'know like how he used to look at you when you two were dating- I saw the way he looked at you."

"I am scared Holly," Abi sighed sadly. "What if I get hurt again? I can't put myself through that, not again."

"You can't think like that, you may not get hurt, things may work out this time, you just have to take that chance."

"Jay and I broke up _**hundreds**_ of times and then got back together."

Holly chuckled, "Don't I know it eh? But there must be a reason why you two just happen to find each other again…"

Abi sighed. She didn't know what to do. She loved Jay, she knew that she loved Jay. God, she loved him so much that it stung her heart that she wasn't with him. However, Abi considered that it was better that her heart stung instead of being shattered into a million pieces all over again.

However, she was starting to absorb what Holly was saying. Maybe Holly was right. Maybe things could be different now.

"Alright," Abi caved in. "I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"That's my girl!" Holly grinned, "Just talk to him, see what he has to say for himself and you never know, things may really be different this time round."

* * *

The next day, Abi had decided to take the afternoon off of work. When she returned to Dot's, she quickly changed into navy blue denim jeans, a blue and white striped long sleeved jumper with her navy converse pumps. She tied her hair back into a neat high ponytail and applied an extra helping of mascara and some transparent pink lip gloss. She smiled at her reflection. She still couldn't believe that she was doing this. But she never knew, maybe it would all be worth it in the end. Despite the fear of being hurt again, she would really like things to go back to the way they were between her and Jay because she was the happiest when she was with him. Day or night, he was always there for her. She wanted that back.

She had texted Jay that morning asking whether they could meet in the afternoon and talk in which Jay replied to within five minutes. Unfortunately, Jay was on his own in the Arches that afternoon so couldn't exactly leave but they came to the arrangement for Abi to meet him in the Arches to talk. It wasn't the Ritz, but it would do.

Abi sighed happily as she grabbed her mobile phone and raced down the stairs. No one was in the house. She assumed that Dot was at the launderette whereas Fatboy was probably our running some errands. Abi slipped on her burgundy coat and left the house, ensuring that her keys and mobile phone was secure in her coat pocket.

* * *

Jay was concentrating on the engine of a car that he was instructed to finish. Phil was probably back at the house getting drunk whereas Ben was spending the afternoon with Kathy, so he was on his own. He didn't really want to be working. Abi was due to turn up any minute wanting to talk and he didn't really fancy it being in the Arches, with grubby hands and him wearing his overalls. However, it didn't really bother him because Abi wanted to meet him to talk. Now, that was something in Jay's books and he didn't really mind where it was, it could be in the sewers for all he cared, he wasn't going to miss the chance of meeting Abi. This was another chance for him to try and put things right. However, he didn't think that this would be a bad conversation as when Abi text him this morning asking to meet, she put a kiss at the end in which Jay was pretty happy about.

Jay suddenly heard soft and gentle footsteps approach him and he felt a figure lingering by the entrance of the Arches. Jay smiled to himself, "I can always trust you to be on time," he said cheekily as he turned round. His jaw dropped when someone unexpected was standing in the entrance, the last person that he wanted to see.

"Lola?" Jay gulped.

"Oh Jay!" Lola said with emotion and relief leaking out of her voice as she hurried over to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Jay was slightly taken aback and just stuck his arms out at both sides of Lola. Little did he know that from a distance, the girl he was waiting for saw.

Abi held back the tears as she watched the scene from a distance. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she turned back round and walked away. This was it now. She made the attempt to try and talk to Jay, hear him out but she wished she hadn't now. She wished that she hadn't agreed to meet him now. Lola Pearce was back and there was no room for Abi Branning. She never came close to that bimbo. That's it- Jay had fallen for Lola again. It was only a matter of time now until he was going to go back to her. Everything that had happened between her and Jay would soon be forgotten. There was no point in fighting or even trying, Lola was _**always**_ going to win.

Abi was going to go with her mind now and not listen to her heart or what anyone told her. She was going to walk away and close the door, for good.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ Hi guys! I am so sorry for not updating in like over a month. I have been so busy with Christmas and New Year and , but I hope that I have made it up to you by presenting you with this pretty long chapter. Hopefully I won't take as long to update like before!

Anyway, please let me know what you think by favouriting, following and commenting because that is what really does motivate me to write more in the end!

Until the next time, much love! xx


	8. Chapter 8

"Lola, what are you doing here?" Jay demanded as he gently pulled the blonde female away from his body and pressing down on her shoulders softly to ensure that there was quite a bit of space between them, with his arms outstretch and his green eyes locked onto hers. Although, his touch was gentle, his eyes were telling a different story. Jay's eyes were staring down at Lola with a hard expression.

Lola sighed. She should have known. Of course it would have been a shock to Jay for her to turn up out of the blue and expect things to be alright. If this was her, she would go mental if someone acted like everything was okay when it most certainly wasn't, therefore she wouldn't dare to expect things to be alright the other way round. She knew what she had to do.

"Jay…I made a mistake," Lola stumbled on her words, as she stared down at her white converses.

"I'm sure Dexter would _**love**_ to hear you say that," Jay stated sarcastically with his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"I should never have left you!" Lola whined, "I don't know why I even went with Dexter."

"Maybe because you started your life in Newcastle with Lexi without me and you just couldn't wait until I got there so you took an interest in my best mate," Jay responded bitterly.

Lola gulped, "Jay, it wasn't like that," she tried to reason.

"Then, what was it like eh Lo?!" Jay cutted in, raising his voice slightly, "Actually, where is Lexi?"

"I left her with Pops and Honey," Lola replied quietly, tucking a strand of her bleach blond hair behind her ear awkwardly. "Anyway, this isn't about Lexi, this is about me and you." She added, reaching out towards his arm and rubbing it up and down his arm.

Jay twisted to his side to yank Lola's hand away, "Yeah, well there is no me and you," he spat.

"Jay, please," Lola pleaded. "I should never have left you. I'm sorry that I forgot your birthday. I mean, I didn't have Pops around and he always reminded me of birthdays."

"Oh dear," Jay said with a condescending tone, rolling his eyes. "So come on, I think I have a right to know," Jay began as he perched himself on the edge of the open bonnet of a car that he was working on. "You and Dexter, my best mate, how did it happen?"

"Well Lexi and I were staying with him and Ava until you came and joined us. Ava was out for the night, Dexter had put Lexi to bed and we just opened a bottle of wine. We started talking about the old times and then we got tipsy and I admitted how when he first came to the Square how I fancied him and Abi knew it. Then Dexter admitted how he had always liked me and as Lexi and I had been with him for the past month or so, the both of us had started to grow on him and the alcohol was getting to me and I was missing you and I just kissed him for comfort at first and then it went to the bedroom. It's just…the reason I went with Dex was because he gave me fireworks, gave me the excitement that I needed in my life y'know."

"What and I didn't?!" Jay exclaimed.

"I didn't say that," Lola rolled her eyes. "The problem was I fell for you Jay, I liked you but for years I had to keep that to myself and they were hidden away and the feelings weren't there because you were _**so**_ convinced that you loved Abi. Then within time, you said that you loved me and I felt that you gave me stability, you knew what you wanted. And that's where Dexter was different- we just went with the flow. Him and Ava gave Lexi and I a nice home, we weren't worried about where we were going to end up. I wanted stability for Lexi and plus Dexter wanted me from the start, he gave me the excitement and the fireworks."

"So as you sound so convinced that Dexter is the one then why are you back here?" Jay demanded.

"I guess it weren't all cracked up to be and it blinded me and made me realise that I made a mistake and that I still want you, I still love you," Lola responded, sadly.

"And why's that?" Jay raised his eyebrow, folding his arms arrogantly across his chest. "What happened to the _**honeymoon period**_ eh?"

"I realised that he wasn't committed. He wasn't committed in being a family, he just wanted me and to have fun with me, it felt like he didn't care about the baggage that I had, like Lexi. He goes out with his friends up Newcastle every night and gets drunk and gambles. Them, occasionally he use to bring a few of his friends back and continue drinking. I had enough. Then there was you, you accepted me and Lexi together and you loved us and I was so stupid to let you go and I am so sorry for missing your birthday and ditching you on your birthday. I love you…"

"Yeah, well you're too late," Jay spoke bluntly as he grabbed a spanner and turned back to his work, bending over the bonnet.

"What do you mean?" Lola started to panic, "Jay please, I'm sorry. I should never have left. I love you, please give us another chance!" She pleaded, running round to Jay's side.

"I don't love you Lola," Jay stated calmly. "I think it was a moment of madness to be honest with ya."

"What's that supposed to me?" Lola cried, "You told me that you had always liked me and how you had done for ages. What possibly changed?"

"When I found out what you were really like," Jay mumbled.

"And what am I like exactly?" Lola said, feeling offended, "I mean, you've always known what I was like."

"I meant how you were when we were together," Jay interrupted. "I saw how you were with Peter and I thought 'Yeah, a girl that was willing to do anything for their relationship' which is what I felt what I needed but when you went with me, you left me and you could have come back until I was off tag but you decided not to and then you go off with my best mate. I mean, I use to wind Dexter up saying how you two were going to get together but I would have _**never**_ expected the two of you to do this to me. All I can say is that I'm glad that I found out sooner and that I was better of knowing."

"I'm so sorry," Lola apologised. "I got scared and I was without you and my head was all over the place. Jay, I love you."

"Well like I said," Jay gulped as he continued working on the car. "You're too late."

"What as in there's someone else?" Lola raised her eyebrow, alarmed, feeling her heart slowly breaking.

"Could say that, yeah," Jay shrugged. "I'm actually waiting for her to turn up so y'know you're cramping my style."

"Charming! So come on then, do I know her?" Lola demanded.

"What's it got to do with you, eh?" Jay stated defensively. "Don't forget that you left me for my best friend so what did you expect me to do? Sit around and mope for the rest of my life? You might know the girl, you might not, but I'll tell you something- she's worth fighting for!"

"It's Abi isn't it?" Lola gulped.

"What if it is?" Jay questioned, challengingly.

"She's with Ben?" Lola chuckled, awkwardly.

"Not anymore."

"I'm never going to live up to Miss Marple's standards am I?!"

"Oh no, don't pull that one on me Lo! I actually chose you over Abi a year ago but you _**ditched**_ me for Dexter. It just taught me a lesson and made me realise that I was a complete and utter prat for leaving Abi- I mean, what have achieved from it, eh?"

"Erm me and Lexi, that's what you achieved," Lola stated like it was obvious.

"A ready-made family that's all I need," Jay mumbled.

"Are you dissing my little girl?!" Lola exclaimed, outraged.

"No I'm not," Jay shook his head. "In fact, you should be getting back to Lexi. I'm sure she needs her mum. It's better than running off and chasing after your next bloke. I don't care what you do Lola, we're finished for good. You had your chance."

"Flammin' Scabi," Lola growled before stomping out of the Arches.

Jay rolled his eyes. He was serious when it came to Lola. He didn't care what she did from now on. Yes, he liked her once but he didn't love her. He realised that the feelings he had for Lola were nowhere near as close to the feelings that he had for Abi. He believed that he would always have these feelings for her.

Yes, he had always heard people say how you never forget your first love which is correct, as when Jay was with Lola and Abi was with Ben, he didn't forget her but just felt that he didn't have romantic feelings for her. If you saw your first love, maybe you would develop some feelings for them as they were your first love but you could move on from them, but with Abi, he felt like he couldn't move on and that he never would. She was the one and he was going to win her back, whatever it took.

* * *

"I don't stand a chance, I should never have even considered going," Abi argued as she ranted over the phone to Holly as she was bowling through the busy market.

" _Abi, for the hundredth time, it might be different," Holly reassured. "What are you even doing on the phone to me? Go to Jay and get him before Lola does. You never know, he probably told her to go away. For what she did, I don't think Jay's that stupid."_

"Oh no, sooner or later, Lola will get her claws into him," Abi growled. "So I might as well save myself from the hurt and walk away. I should just look forward to New Zealand, spend some time with my **immediate** family and maybe I will start a new life there. I think it's for the best."

" _Oh Abi, you can't give up now!" Holly whined, "Just go to Jay and talk to him."_

"No Holly, I'm not going to talk to Jay," Abi snapped. "That's it for me and him. I'm going to go now because I'm fed up of talking about Jay!"

Despite Holly's pleas of telling Abi not to go, Abi still hung up the phone. Abi sighed frustratedly as she stared at her phone and continued walking. Little did she know that she was about to suddenly bash into a figure until she did.

"Oh!" Abi exclaimed alarmed as she got faced with reality. However, she felt her blood start to fizz rapidly when she realised who she was up close to- Ben Mitchell.

"Abi," Ben said calmly. "Can we talk?"

"Get out of my way," Abi spat, getting angrier by the second.

"Please Abs, can we just talk?" Ben pleaded, "While it's just you and me. I didn't mean to react the way I did last night, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Just get out of my way!" Abi cried as she shoved Ben out of her way, but soon a familiar hand grabbed hold of her wrist and dragged her into the Vic alleyway despite Abi's attempts of trying to get away.

Ben shut the gate, leaving him and Abi alone in the alleyway.

"Ben, what the hell do you think you are playing at?" Abi hissed angrily, "You can't do this!"

"Abi, can you please just let me talk to you?" Ben asked, growing impatient. He hadn't even had the chance to talk to Abi since they broke up and despite how much he wanted to be with Paul, he wanted to be with Abi and for once in his life, he did not want Jay to be better than him. He didn't want Jay to have Abi.

"You have one minute," Abi growled as she leant her back against the wall and folded her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"I know I'm an idiot for going with Paul behind your back but whenever I met him, I couldn't stop thinking about you," said Ben. "I never stopped feeling guilty because I loved you and I still do."

"Okay, next joke," Abi rolled her eyes.

"I'm being serious Abi!" Ben exclaimed, "Just listen to me. Yes, I slept with Paul but you also slept with Jay so that makes us even."

"How could that possibly make us even?!" Abi raised her voice in disbelief, "Yes I slept with Jay, but you slept with Paul multiple times! To be honest, if Jay and I hadn't have caught you at the crime, you would have still kept on going behind my back now. It's only now that you've been caught, you suddenly realise that you _**have**_ to have me back. I'm not being treated like a mug, Ben. I'm not going to let you or anyone walk all over me."

"I haven't been walking all over you, Abi," Ben added.

"Oh so what had you been doing for almost our entire relationship Ben?!"

Ben gulped, "Yeah well same goes for you really, if I hadn't have walked in on you and Jay at the Arches then I wouldn't have found out and maybe you two would have been going on behind my back."

Abi laughed bitterly before staring at him coldly, "A) I'd never do that to you, b) if you hadn't have cheated on me with Paul and then caught you at it, then I probably wouldn't have slept with Jay or even dreamt of it, and c) it would have been none of your business if you didn't find out anyway."

"I think you'll find that it is my business as Jay is my brother," Ben stated. "Like I said, we're both even but please, give us another chance? To prove to you that you're the only one for me."

Abi shook her head, "I'm sorry Ben, but no. I am not being treated like a doormat. I'm not going to be like my mum, going back to my dad after everything he did time and time again. I'm not doing that to myself, I'm not putting myself through that. Thinking about it, I think if I got back with you, I'd be an even bigger joke than my mum!"

"Abi, please," Ben pleaded softly, feeling hot tears burn up within his pupils. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry Ben but we're over, for good. I should have known that you weren't straight, we should never have got together. I find it really sad that this is what we've become as we used to be so close when we were kids but I guess things happen for a reason. Maybe in the future, perhaps we will be friends but we will _**never**_ go back to being an item," Abi stated sternly and with meaning dripping out of her voice. "And don't worry- I'm not going to get back with Jay either so there's no need to lose sleep over that. Yes, I recall you saying how you think that Jay's better than you during our late night conversations, how you think that Phil prefers Jay over you." With that, Abi went over to the gate and grabbed hold of the latch.

"I love you Abs," Ben choked. "Please don't go."

Abi turned round to face the guy who she had known for oh so many years. She wasn't emotionless; she was nowhere near that. Yes, she was upset that they had finished but she wasn't burnt out over that, she was devastated that her childhood best friend would consider doing this to her. Ben didn't just destroy a relationship, he destroyed a pure friendship that had lasted for almost up to 10 years.

"If you really do _love_ me, then I suggest that you keep your distance," Abi ordered quietly before she silently disappeared out of the gate and made her way into the café.

Abi felt that she needed a break from relationships. She couldn't deal with all the drama and the heartbreak. She needed time to herself and let her find herself and who she really is.

Abi entered the café, gasping for a cup of coffee. She walked over to the counter and waiting patiently to be served.

"Oh hello Abs!"

Abi turned her head to the side and flashed a smile at the person who was standing beside her, "Jordan!"

"How you keeping up after last night?" Jordan chuckled.

"Just had a run in with Ben," Abi rolled her eyes. "But that's all sorted now."

"You know what you need," Jordan immediately stated. "A night out- what do you say? How about you and I go out tonight if you're not doing anything? As friends, I mean. But let's not go to the Vic, I hear that Denise's sister's husband owns half of the Albert."

"Yeah and the Mitchells own the other half," Abi rolled her eyes. "But only Sharon goes there so it wouldn't be too bad, it would be nice to go out with a male that's just a friend."

"Okay great," Jordan smiled. "So I'll pick you up at 7?"

"Yeah great," Abi said excitedly. "I live at Grandma Dot's now."

"I'll come for you there then," Jordan added cheekily which made Abi laugh.

"There you go, love," Marie interrupted, which made Jordan and Abi's eyes divert to the counter where Marie placed a cup of coffee in a takeaway cup in front of Jordan.

"Thanks," Jordan said briefly as he picked up the cup of coffee before turning to Abi, "I better get going. I'll see you tonight!"

"See you tonight," Abi flashed her old friend a smile before he evacuated out of the café.

"Alright Abi, what can I get ya?" Marie asked Abi politely.

* * *

Jay sighed sadly as he closed up the Arches for the day. It was 4 'o' clock in the afternoon. Abi was supposed to turn up hours ago. What was she playing at? She never stood him up. Maybe she got cold feet; maybe she changed her mind about meeting him. _That girl has a mind of her own!_ His subconscious contemplated in which Jay just rolled his eyes at. It didn't really bother Jay. He would still go after her because Abi was not Lola. He loved Abi and was certain that he always will, for as long as he lived. Abi not turning up just made Jay even more determined to go after Abi and prove how much he loves her.

Jay inhaled the early evening's air as he took a stroll past the play park. He decided that he was going to grab a doughnut from the café before he went home. He wasn't necessarily looking forward to going home, nowadays he saw it as just a place where he can rest his head for the night.

Jay went straight over to the counter when he entered the café. The café was strangely quiet with just some low key music playing in the background. He spun his head round to engross on his surroundings when he noticed Abi sitting on the far back table, staring into her mug as her hands clasped around it. Jay let out a sigh as he slowly but quietly made his way over to her.

"It's not like you to stitch me up," Jay said casually as he went and sat beside Abi on the light blue sofa. Abi looked at Jay and swallowed some salvia before she turned her head away.

"Yeah well you seemed pretty occupied when I arrived," Abi stated sadly.

"What do you mean?" Jay frowned, "Abs, you knew I was working."

Abi turned to Jay coldly, "I'm not talking about working, you dummy," she spoke abruptly. "I'm talking about Lola."

The penny dropped. Jay's mouth stood in a perfect 'o' shape with his eyes widened, "Oh!"

"Yeah 'Oh!'" She mocked, "Couldn't keep her hands off you!"

"It wasn't like that Abs," He tried to reason with her by using a gentle approach.

"Then, what was it like Jay?!" Abi raised her voice, "You going to fob me off with another story? You know what, just forget it." Abi cried as she quickly got up and ran out of the café.

Jay sighed heavily as he got up and practically ran after her, "Abs, just let me explain!" He pleaded as he followed closely behind her as she paced through the market and towards the Square gardens.

"What is it with boys and explaining?" Abi questioned. "I don't want to know Jay, just go back to Lola."

"I don't want Lola, I want you," Jay stated firmly.

"Yeah it really looked like it when she had her hands all over you," Abi responded sarcastically, "Her arms wrapped around your neck."

"Yeah but if you stayed longer, you would have seen me push her away," Jay stated smugly. "I told her where to go, I told her that I'm not interested, she can go to Australia for all I care!"

"Yeah as if she'd listen to that," Abi scoffed.

"Well if she doesn't, I will keep telling her until she gets the message," Jay promised.

"We all know that she'll get you eventually," Abi argued.

"Well she won't and that I can promise ya," Jay said reassuringly.

"I've had enough of everyone's promises, promises that they can't keep, I've had enough!"

"I will keep my promises."

"Yeah like you made such a good job of it last time," Abi rolled her eyes as she walked towards Dot's house and got her keys out of her pocket.

"Yeah well this time I will do better," Jay insisted as he rested his arm on the wall by the house. "Come on Abi, please."

Abi shook her head sadly, "You know Jay, I wanted to meet you this afternoon because I thought that maybe we could put everything behind us and start again but after what I saw with Lola, that changes _**everything.**_ "

"How does this change anything? So what if Lola's back? I wish she'd go away if I'm honest. I want to be with you, you're all I want."

"Yeah, that's what I convinced myself through all of my A level exams and trying to get into uni, but I was wrong!"

"Things will be different this time I promise you!"

"I'm sorry Jay, but I can't! Just go back to Lola," Abi growled.

"I don't want to go back to Lola, I want to be with you," Jay stated firmly.

"Yeah well you can't," Abi responded in a blunt and stern manner. "I can't do this to myself, not again, I'm sorry."

With that, Abi opened the front door and stepped inside the house. Without hesitation and without looking back, she slammed the front door shut. Jay sighed frustratedly as he walked away from the house. This was all Lola's fault. If she had just stayed in Newcastle, then maybe him and Abi would have been back together by now. Jay growled angrily as he kicked the black railings of the Square gardens hard.

"You remind me of your father every time that I see you."

Jay had his hands wrapped around two of the railings as he turned his head to the side, taking deep and steady breathes in order to compose himself. From a distance, outside of Stacey's old flat stood a black jeep. Standing in front of the old jeep and smiling at him was his stepmother Dawn Swann with Gary Hobbs against the bonnet with a little girl with blonde bunches sitting in the bonnet, facing Gary. Gary was chuckling softly in Jay's direction whereas Dawn was smiling widely at him.

"Dawn," Jay gulped as he slowly made his way over to the small family.

"Hello darling," Dawn giggled as she opened her arms out wide towards Jay as he willingly leapt into her welcoming arms.

* * *

 **A/N:** _So what do you think of Dawn, Gary and Summer returning to Walford?!_

 _Please, please, please let me know what you think of this chapter by commenting, favouriting and following, it doesn't take a second and it really does mean the world to me as your support and knowing that people are enjoying my story is what really motivates me._

 _Until the next time…x_


	9. Chapter 9

"So come on, what's going on with daddy's little princess?" Gary teased as him and Jay sat on the sofa in his and Dawn's new flat. Dawn placed two mugs of coffee on the coffee table in front of them.

"Sorry?" Jay raised his eyebrow, puzzled, as he turned to Gary.

"Abi Branning," Gary smirked. "She was a right daddy's girl when I left."

"Well not anymore," Jay scoffed as he turned away. "He's now banged up for the murder of Lucy Beale."

"Blimey," Dawn gasped as she sat in the armchair, a mug of tea keeping her hands warm. "I know Max Branning was a womanizer but I didn't think he would be capable of murder."

"Well you live and learn," Jay sighed.

"So come on," Gary prompted. "What's the deal between you and Abi? I mean the last I heard you and her split up and you were after that Lola bird."

"I wish I never went there if I'm honest," Jay sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair. Jay had been friends with Lola since she turned up on the square and never really saw her in a romantic way. Yes, Lola had been interested in him a couple of times but during those times, Jay knew the feelings that he had for Abi were strong and only saw Lola as a friend. He had always had strong feelings for Abi, she was his first love but their relationship had become strained and plus, you were lucky if you ended up having a long lasting future with your first love. He guessed that he screwed that up the minute he saw Lola in a new light and Abi now feels she cannot trust him for as long as Lola is still on the square. He couldn't blame her really even though Jay knew for a fact that he was never going back there with Lola.

"Why? What happened?" Dawn frowned, "To be honest I was a little surprised when you and Abi split up as you were planning on moving to Bolton with her. I take it she's back for the Christmas holidays?"

"No," Jay shook his head. "I crushed her dreams because I fell for her best friend and she ran over her dog trying to go to university in her dad's car when she had already had a bit to drink and her dad refused to take her. In the end, she didn't want to go to university. She now works as a receptionist as a vet and is being trained as a vet. I guess it will all go in her favour in the end, she doesn't need me."

"Jay, I'm a woman myself and I know that Abi still cares otherwise she wouldn't have had the shouting match with you outside Dot's house," Dawn smiled sadly. "If I'm honest, I can't blame her for feeling how she does. Lola was her best friend."

Jay nodded sadly, "Yeah, her and Abs were really close and I destroyed that for them didn't I? I should never have gone there."

"But you and Lola were close too," Gary commented.

"Yeah as friends and it should have stayed that way," Jay exasperated. "I broke Abi's heart. When Abi was with Ben and living with us, me and her became friends but the friendship that Abi had with Lola was damaged! I caused that."

"You couldn't help how you felt," Gary tried to reason. "I mean, you're still young. You said so yourself, you felt that your relationship with Abi was strained."

"No, I just selfish," Jay spat. "Abi was trying to build a life for us, she was trying so hard with her exams so she could get into the right university and even when we were about to move to Bolton so she could go to university, I was still selfish by thinking I would be a spare part when she was going to build a better future for us which was what we had planned all along."

"Well you're a bloke at the end of the day," Dawn teased. Jay looked up at his step mother in which Dawn just responded to by winking at him playfully.

"Tell you what, how about the four of us go over to the Vic? Forget about all this women business?" Gary suggested eagerly, dying to have an East End pint.

"Yeah why not," Dawn agreed. "It will save me from cooking since they now do food over there." She added reminiscing back to hers and Gary's frequent Skype calls with Jay. Even though they had not seen each other in so long, they all still stayed in touch because they felt that it would have been what Jase would have wanted.

* * *

It was about 8 'o' clock in the evening when Abi and Jordan were sitting up the bar in the Albert. They happened to be the only ones in there.

"I have a son," Jordan blurted out, worried what Abi might think, "JJ."

Abi's eyes widened, "Really? Wow...I didn't think that was your scene." Abi responded as she took another sip of her cocktail, the alcohol getting to her head.

"Neither did I if I'm honest," Jordan sighed. "It wasn't expected. I was only 17 at the time."

"So JJ's about 3?" Abi guessed.

"Yeah he is," Jordan smiled timidly.

"Well I had a friend who had a baby when she was 16," Abi commented, thinking about Lola and Lexi. Lexi would be the same age as JJ now in which she kind of hoped that her and JJ would not become play mates. That's if JJ ever came to the square. This made her wonder...

Abi gulped, "So where is JJ? Are you still with his birth mother?" She asked, playing with her fingers.

Jordan shook his head sadly, "No, she died."

"Oh Jordan, I'm so sorry," Abi exclaimed sympathetically, squeezing his hand.

Jordan slowly moved his hand away shifty, "It's alright. JJ's staying with one of my mates. Denise doesn't even know that I have a son."

"What? Why?" Abi asked, trying to understand why Jordan is keeping his child as such a secret. It appeared in this generation, everyone was having babies at a young age.

Jordan shook his head, "I'm worried what they might think. I'm messed up Abs. I got my girlfriend pregnant when I was 16 and plus she died from drugs and JJ and I don't live in the best of places- an estate."

Abi chuckled, "Well at least the two of you have some sort of roof over your heads," she said as she sucked up a sip of her cocktail through a straw. "It's not the best of places I must admit, I'm sure Denise will be able to have you and JJ stay with her for a while, just until you get back on your feet and find somewhere more decent."

"Her family can't stand me," Jordan scoffed, "Thinks I'm just like my father, nothing but trouble."

"I nearly had a baby you know," Abi randomly added, nibbling on her straw. Jordan's jaw dropped. "Well, I thought I was pregnant a couple of years or so back."

"Really?" Jordan raised his eyebrow surprised, "Who would have been the father?"

"Jay Brown," Abi quickly gulped.

"As in the red head?"

Abi nodded, "Mhm, well he always says that his hair is African sunset," she recalled whilst rolling her eyes and grinning. "We dated for a good three years on and off and then he decided to take a liking to my best friend."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Jordan said sympathetically, knowing that all Abi wanted was to find her prince charming ever since he knew her.

Abi shook her head, "It's alright. What happened must have happened for a reason. I'm still young, there's plenty more fish in the sea, plus I'm going to New Zealand in just under a week- maybe I will start a new life there!"

Jordan smiled sadly at his old friend which Abi returned. Talking about her possible pregnancy back in summer 2013 made her wonder if her relationship with Jay would have been any different. Even though Abi was being stubborn at the time, Jay did know Abi too well and she knew that. Abi knew that she would not have gone through with aborting their child even though it would have crushed her dreams of becoming a vet but she would have gotten over that once she saw their little bundle of joy. To be honest, her dreams of becoming a vet were still crushed the moment Jay ended their long lasting relationship. If her and Jay did have a baby back then, would the two of them still be together? Maybe they would have been engaged, due to get married or married even? Maybe their child would have made Jay more faithful and stopped him from going astray, leading to his romantic feelings for Lola Pearce. Or maybe they still would have broken up and would have been following a schedule on who would have the child and when. If Abi and Jay did have a child, Abi knew that Jay would certainly stop their child from going to New Zealand with her and he would fight for it. Her subconscious chuckled at that.

"Abi, I'm afraid I'm going to have to close up darling," Sharon sighed as she returned to behind the bar and getting out her bag. "Ben just rang. Phil's just come home in a drunken state."

Abi wriggled her nose, "Really? Well I hope everything's okay."

But she knew things weren't exactly okay. Abi was aware of Phil's drinking when Ben happened to confide in her about it when they were still together. They both knew that something must have happened when Phil was kidnapped by Gavin and his lot.

Abi and Jordan quickly finished their drinks before they jumped off their stalls, bid their goodbyes to Sharon and left the Albert.

"So where to next?" Abi asked as she linked her arm through Jordan's. "We could always go back to Dot's and watch movies, just like old times."

Jordan looked at Abi and chuckled, "Abs, we're not 13 or 14 anymore," he said cheekily.

"Hey!" Abi swatted his arm, "What's wrong with movies?"

"Nothing!" Jordan spoke defensively, "I'm just saying, now that we're legal, we can stay out and go drinking. We could go to the Vic?!"

Abi hesitated for a moment before reluctantly agreeing. If she was completely sober, maybe she would have hesitated a bit more, worrying about who might have been there. But considering that she had a bit of alcohol in her, she was confident enough to go to the Vic and wasn't bothered who she might have bumped into, besides Jay or Ben just may have got jealous seeing Jordan on her arm, even though they were just friends.

* * *

Lola entered the Vic with Billy holding the door for her as she pushed Lexi's pushchair through the doors. Honey soon followed behind with Janet and William. Lola looked up and gulped as she noticed her favourite African sunset standing at the bar, waiting to be served.

"You get a table, I'll get the drinks in," Lola offered. "Keep an eye on Lexi won't ya?"

Billy nodded understandingly, as he took the pushchair from Lola. He knew that Lola wanted to put things right with Jay but felt that she shouldn't pressure him back into a relationship after the outcome when she went to Newcastle. He considered that at present, being friends would be good enough.

Lola walked over to the bar and stood beside Jay. She didn't think that he noticed her standing there as he was looking down at the bar.

"Alright," she said quietly.

Jay quickly looked at Lola then turned away again, hoping that Linda would give him his drinks soon.

Lola sighed, "Look I'm really sorry alright, about earlier and how things ended between us."

"I'm not interested Lo," Jay sighed frustratedly.

"I want to put things right," Lola pleaded. "Please Jay."

"Did you not hear me the first time?" Jay growled.

"I just want things to be how they use to be. Lexi misses you. Why don't you come and say hello?" Lola suggested.

"Using your daughter as a weapon eh? Classy," Jay commented spitefully.

"Here you go Jay," Linda said as she handed him his order on a tray.

"Cheers," Jay responded politely. He glanced at Lola who was concentrated on him with her crystal blue eyes. He sighed, "Look I told you earlier, it's over between us. What we had is over, done, finite."

"Jay, I love you," Lola cried as she grabbed his hand.

Jay scoffed as he swiped his hand away before quickly grabbing the tray and going over to the table that he shared with Dawn, Gary and Summer who were sitting near the kitchen counter.

"Who was that?" Dawn frowned as she looked over at the young blonde who was standing sadly at the bar.

"Lola," Jay snapped.

"That's Lola?!" Dawn exclaimed in disbelief, "I have to say Jay, you can do better- looks nothing but a tart to me."

"Thanks," Jay frowned, feeling slightly offended as he was the one that dated her.

"And that's Billy's granddaughter did you say?" Gary questioned. Jay simply nodded which made Gary chuckle and lean back into his chair, "Well his family do have some good genes after all then," Gary commented in which Dawn glared at his. Gary smiled cheekily at his partner before squeezing her hand, "Nothing compared to you though my treacle."

Just at that moment, Abi entered the pub with Jordan in tow and made a bird's eye for the bar. Lola glared at Abi from the other end of the bar, her blood boiling at the fact that no matter what she does, no matter how close she gets to Jay, even if she has something with Jay, Jay always chooses Abi in the end.

"You just can't help yourself can you?!" Lola shouted from across the bar to Abi.

"I'm sorry?" Abi laughed nervously with her hand on her heart as she watched Lola walk over to them.

"Jay," Lola snapped. "No matter what I do, no matter what goes on between me and him, he always seems to want you in the end."

"Well I don't want him," Abi smiled falsely. "You're welcome to him Lola, I mean ever since you arrived on this Square you have always been digging your claws into him."

"But he doesn't want me Scabi," Lola spat bitterly. "He wants you. Perfect little miss Hannah Montana. The perfect Abigail Branning, the brainbox."

"Lo!" Billy shouted warningly.

"Well I don't want him," Abi spoke, raising her voice. "You're welcome to Jay, I'm not intending on getting back with him. I'm sure if you work on your magic charms, you will have him like putty in your hands!"

Lola shook her head angrily, "I really don't know what Jay sees in you. I mean, look at you, you're nothing."

"Alright watch it!" Jordan spoke up defensively whilst having a protective arm around Abi.

"Oh look Abs," Lola smirked. "Looks like you have another bloke wrapped round your finger."

Abi gasped offended, "For your information I have no one wrapped round my finger. For my whole life I have been wrapped round other people's fingers."

Lola scoffed, "Jay has always wanted you. I really can't see why, I mean you're not all that."

"That's enough now," Mick said sternly from behind the bar as everyone folded into the scene intrigued of the outcome.

"And you think you're perfect do you?" Abi spat.

"Well I have always been interested in Jay, I have always shown an interest in him even when you weren't and he still wants you!" Lola cried.

"Excuse me?! For the record, I have always found him very interesting," Abi quickly said in her defence before blushing.

Lola shook her head bitterly, "See what I mean. You just can't help yourself. You and Jay will come crawling back to each other soon enough."

"I don't want Jay, Lola, you are very much welcome to him!" Abi exclaimed, "I'm going to New Zealand and even if I wasn't, I still wouldn't be interested!"

"When you're in New Zealand, Jay will be pining like hell for you, just like he did when you went to Costa Rica and I couldn't even get a look in, I mean not once word had got about that Little Miss Perfect was returning to Walford!"

"Lola will you wake up and smell the coffee?! Jay did want you! You took him away from me after 3 years of me and him being together so you did succeed in taking away what was the best thing in my life!"

"Well I'm not surprised that he got fed up with you yet he still wants to go back for more," Lola snarled.

"Well to be perfectly honest, I can't see why he doesn't want you when you're always dressed like that," Abi commented bitterly glancing up and down Lola's body.

"You got a problem with what I'm wearing?!" Lola demanded, her teeth gritted.

"Not as such but you do realise that it's winter as you're walking around in that mini skirt? I mean that's always what you seem to wear these days," Abi smirked devilishly.

"You little cow!" Lola screeched as she grabbed hold of Abi's golden blonde locks and tugged at them as she pushed her back onto the empty comfy seats that were behind them. Abi squealed angrily underneath Lola as she grabbed hold of Lola's hair and tugged at them tightly. Billy and Jordan rushed over to the scene. Billy grabbed hold of Lola's waist trying to pull her away from Abi which succeeded.

"Lola, out!" Mick demanded as Abi slowly got up breathlessly whilst Jordan rushed over to Abi's side.

"What?!" Lola screeched, "She started it!" She said pointing at Abi.

"I think you'll find that you did Lola the minute you started on Abi," Linda stated firmly. "Now get out!"

Billy led Lola back to their table as they grabbed their things.

"Come on kids, I guess it's McKlunky's for dinner tonight," Billy spoke soothingly to Janet and William as he helped Honey to gather their things. Lola turned round to where Jay was sitting to find him glaring at her. _At least he's not looking at Abi,_ he thought.

Lola took a deep breath before she strided over to Jay, "You heard Abi, Jay, and she doesn't want you. I want you, I have always wanted you. Please just give us another chance, we can be happy! I'm still the girl you fell for."

"I wish I didn't fall for you if I'm honest," Jay said bitterly. "If I didn't, things probably would still be great with Abi."

"You don't mean that," Lola said timidly, shaking her head.

"Oh, just get out of my sight!" Dawn exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "You're seriously pathetic, look at you!"

"Excuse me? Who are you?" Lola said, feeling offended at a woman who she didn't even know insulting her.

"I'm Dawn Swann," Dawn smiled bitterly, "Jay's stepmother. Have you seriously heard yourself? You're literally begging at his knees, desperate for attention! Are you really that low? To be honest, I can't see what Jay ever saw in you, I know your sort."

"Oh yeah and what is my sort?" Lola raised her eyebrow with her arms folded across her chest.

"You think you can just put a bit of lippy on, get your nails done, wear a tight outfit and you think that any boy you want will be dancing round you. Well guess what? Jay's better than that! If you go anywhere near him again and you'll have me to answer to! Get the message love, he aint interested!"

Just at that moment, Billy came over and put a firm arm round Lola's shoulders.

"Come on Lo," Billy said comfortingly as he glared up at Dawn before escorting his family out of the Vic.

"Are you sure you're alright Abs?" Jordan asked worried as he rubbed up and down Abi's arm as she sat on the comfy seat.

"I'm fine," Abi protested as she ran her hand through her hair.

"I'm going to get us some drinks okay?" Jordan said softly like Abi was fragile and breakable. "What do you want?"

"Just an orange juice," Abi gulped. "Put a splash of vodka in it."

Jordan grinned as he walked over to the bar. Abi looked away as she contemplated on recent events. She had never had a fight with Lola before, not even when she first arrived on the square and was causing trouble between her and Jay.

"Abi…"

Abi looked up to find Jay standing in front of her. Abi shifted as she looked up at him.

"Can I help you?" she asked stubbornly.

"I just wanted to know whether you were alright," Jay spoke softly. "What Lola said and did was out of order."

"Yeah well as you can see, I'm alive," Abi spoke with sarcasm dripping out of her speech.

Jay rolled his eyes at her stubbornness- she could be just as bad as him sometimes! "Abi please…"

"Look, I don't need you fighting my battles okay?" Abi suddenly snapped.

"Is everything alright?" Jordan said warily, eyeing up the two of them. He had returned with two drinks in his hand.

"Everything's fine," Abi smiled falsely. "Jay was just going."

Jay rolled his eyes as he stormed away. Jordan placed the drinks down on the table before turning to Abi.

"I'm just going to nip to the toilet okay," Jordan announced. "I'll be back in a minute."

Abi nodded smiling as she watched Jordan wander off to the toilets. She let out a sigh. She could tell instantly that Jay cared a lot about Abi and yes, he may love her in which she feels the same but she just physically and emotionally couldn't trust him. What if they got into a spot of bother and Jay went to another woman like Lola to seek comfort and reassurance? Abi felt that she wasn't enough for Jay all the time. Of course she wasn't otherwise he wouldn't have gone after Lola. She did acknowledge that him and Lola were really close for a long time but chose to ignore it, believing that they were like the friends group on the 'Friends' TV programme and how they were all close and there for one another so thought nothing of it but she did have her suspicions.

There were those odd occasions where Jay would put her arm around Lola and hold her close towards him and she recalled one time where Lola told Abi how Jay had treated her to a bacon sandwich in the café and in her defence, Jay did buy Lola the odd cakes, chocolate and coffees and even bacon sandwiches without hesitation but whenever Abi fancied something nice, Jay sometimes dropped her with the excuse that he was low on money. _Yeah because you spent all your money on that blonde bimbo who wasn't even your girlfriend!_ She thought bitterly.

When he returned from the toilets a couple of minutes later, Jordan was on his way back to Abi when he heard muttering come from the bar. He tensed as he stopped in his tracks determined to hear what was being said as he could have sworn that he heard his father's name.

"You for real?!" Nancy gasped in horror from the bar as she was leaning in closely to Tamwar as she had a conversation with him. "His father kept Denise Fox hostage and told everyone that she was dead?!"

Tamwar nodded sadly, "Yep. Denise doesn't seem to have that much luck with men."

"Yeah, certainly looks like it!" Nancy mumbled, "Let's just hope his son doesn't follow his shadows."

"Yeah, Jordan idolised his dad at the time," Tamwar agreed.

Jordan frowned angrily at their conversation. They had no right discussing his private business. What happened in the past he had no control over and it certainly didn't give him the best start in life. He only had to look at the position he was in now. He couldn't stand being around, not with everyone who was turning their nose up at him and whispering behind his back. He couldn't help who he was.

Jordan hurried over to Abi, "Abs, I gotta go, it was nice catching up with you and all," he said in a rushed tone. "See ya!"

With that, Jordan shoved the doors open to the Vic and scurried out of Walford's local.

"Jordan!" Abi called after him. She let out a sigh contemplating for a moment on what she should do. She had just been stood up in a way even if it wasn't a date. She had just been ditched. Without thinking any further, Abi hurried after Jordan and found him walking by the Square gardens.

"Jordan, wait!" Abi cried as she ran over to him. Jordan turned round and paused hesitantly. "What's wrong?"

"What do you think of me?" Jordan asked nervously, with a gulp.

"What?" Abi frowned. "What's brought all this on? I think you're great!"

"Do you think I'm like my dad?" Jordan suddenly asked which took Abi slightly aback.

"What?!" Abi exclaimed aghast, "That's crazy!"

"I'm nothing like my dad," Jordan announced, shakily. "I'm nothing like him!"

"I never said you were," Abi said reassuringly as she rested her hand on his arm comfortingly. "What's brought all this on? I erm…I don't understand…"

"That's the thing with you Abi, you never understand," Jordan growled as he shoved away from which caused Abi to stumble on her feet and fall back onto the pavement.

"Oi!" A booming and hollowing yell was suddenly heard.

Jordan and Abi turned towards the direction where the voice was coming from to find Jay running towards them from the Vic. Dawn and Gary stayed with Summer away from the scene, assuming that Jay would be okay so they just stayed by the Vic building and watched the scene closely.

"What do you think you're playing at sunshine?!" Jay demanded angrily as he grabbed Jordan by the scruff of his neck and slammed him up against the railings.

"What do you think you're doing? Let go of me man!" Jordan demanded back.

"Do you think you're hard pushing women about eh?!"

"Jay, leave it," Abi said shakily as she sat on the pavement.

Jordan laughed bitterly, "You're the one to talk aren't ya? You were the kid who was always messed up and caused nothing but havoc!"

Jay held his breath for a moment as his blood boiled. He would agree that he did have a rough past but he believed that he was a better person and felt that this was due to Abi walking into his life and made him who he is today. He would never sink as low as Jordan just did.

"Get out of my sight!" Jay snapped furiously as he pushed Jordan out of his reach. Jay took a deep breath and turned to Abi who was staring down at the ground shakily. Dawn and Gary were looking over concerned so decided to approach Abi and Jay now that the show was over. Once Jordan walked towards the B&B, it didn't stop him from looking back at a fragile Abi who was sitting on the pavement, realising the person that he had become. A person who was living in his father's shadow.

"Are you alright darling?" asked Dawn worriedly as she crouched down beside Abi.

Abi didn't respond.

"Abi?" Jay asked softly as he knelt down and touched her knee softly. This made Abi look up at Jay who was looking at her lovingly. Abi couldn't help but notice that was the way he looked at her when they were together and realised how much he had missed his gentle touch. In her fragile state, she couldn't keep her barriers up. She knew how much Jay cared and knew that he would look after her. She felt security. She knew that she would be safe with Jay.

Slowly, Abi shook her head.

Jay sighed sadly, "Tell you what, I'm going back to Dawn and Gary's, how about you come with me eh?"

Abi just looked at Jay, debating whether she should go with him. Was it the right thing to do? It didn't take long for her to think about it when Jay slowly stood up and held his hand out towards her; and without thinking for another single moment, without thinking of the consequences, she grabbed hold of Jay's hand and felt their fingers intertwine together as one.

* * *

 **A/N:** I am so sorry for the over two month wait for an update! My life has been so hectic and time has just caught up with me. I have also been going through writer's block which didn't help. Thankfully I got a burst of inspiration and realised how much I missed Chasing Pavements and suddenly became determined to give you all an update!:)

I hope you liked this chapter, please let me know what you think! Like I always say, follows, favourites and reviews gives me a lot of motivation and is always very much appreciated ;)

Until the next time… (hopefully it won't be too long!) x


	10. Chapter 10

"Come on you," Gary said softly as he touched Summer's back and leading her out of the living room. "Let's get you to bed."

"Why?" Summer pouted as she folded her arms across her chest stubbornly and dragging her feet across the floor.

"Because there are adult conversations," Gary pointed out. "Mummy will be with us in a moment. In the meantime, what story would you like?" He asked as he managed to escort Summer out of the hallway.

"Goldilocks and the three bears!" Summer exclaimed enthusiastically from the hallway.

Abi's head was turned round and she smiled timidly at the young girl. It reminded Abi of her younger self, how she used to be around her father. But things had changed. She had no father. She pushed the one man that use to be her entire world away and led him to prison and for what? Nothing.

"You sure there's not anything else I can get you Abi?" Dawn asked as she placed a hot mug of coffee on the coffee table as Abi and Jay sat down on the sofa together.

Abi shook her head, "No, that's great. Thank you."

Dawn smiled at the young woman, noting how wonderful she was and couldn't interpret why someone as lovely as her could ever have it so rough in life. Like Jay, really. Dawn knew that deep down, Jay and Abi needed each other but was certain that she was not going to intervene and was going to let it all come naturally. Only they could sort out their problems.

Dawn turned to her step-son and smiled timidly, "Do you want to stay the night Jay? I can quickly make up a bed in the spare room?"

"No it's alright, I'll just go back to the Mitchell's," Jay responded, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

Dawn smiled at the two of them, "Well I'm going to help Gary with Summer and head to bed myself, it's been a long day. I can trust you to let yourselves out?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah, course. Night Dawn."

"Night," Abi smiled weakly. Dawn flashed them both a small smile before leaving the young pair to it in the living room.

"So what's it like at the Mitchell's now?" Abi broke the ice as she played with her fingers, "I can't really imagine what it's like there without me."

"Yeah well you did get the party started," Jay teased before they both laughed a little. Jay let out a sigh, "It's been dull if I'm honest, and hasn't been the same. Things have been tense between Ben and I since…y'know and then there's Phil's drinking."

Abi smiled sympathetically at her former lover, "Well you could always take up Dawn's offer and stay here?" Abi encouraged.

Jay scoffed, "For a night, Abs. Not permanently. Plus, I've made my bed over at the Mitchells haven't I, there's no turning back now, eh."

There was an awkward silence. Abi picked up her cup of coffee and stared down at it while Jay just gazed at her. She looked so weak and fragile, like the wrong move could easily break her.

"What happened with Jordan, Abi?" Jay gulped.

Abi sighed and shook her head, "I don't really know. I was waiting for him back at the Vic while he went to the loo and when he returned, he just stormed out, with no explanation. So I followed him and he kept being persistent about not being like his dad. I reassured him that he wasn't and where all this was coming from," Abi let out a heavy sigh. "And he just said that I don't understand him and never had…and then…well you know what happened."

"Oh Abs," Jay sighed sympathetically.

"I guess I've never really been good at understanding things," Abi stated sadly. "I mean, I never understood Ben. I remember him telling me how I was _really good_ at not understanding things. I guess that's just me all over."

Jay reached out and squeezed Abi's knee, "You understood me Abi. When we were together, you knew exactly how I felt and what I was thinking without me having to tell you."

Abi looked down at Jay's hand which was placed on her knee. She felt his gentle and reassuring touch which made her heart flutter. She knew that she couldn't give into temptation. Observing her current state, she couldn't just jump and then fall. She had to be strong. Slowly, Abi moved her knee away from Jay's soft grip.

"Obviously I couldn't as I didn't realise that you were falling for Lola in front of my eyes until Ben opened them for me," Abi corrected him. She let out a sigh before turning to Jay with a soft expression. "I don't blame you for falling for Lola."

Jay furrowed his brow, "What do you mean? Abs, I was an idiot."

Abi chuckled, "There was _obviously_ a reason why you fell for Lola, thinking about it there was probably a reason why you kissed Kitty on that holiday," she let out a sad sigh. "I was selfish, I was a nag, I was self-centered as all I could think about was passing my exams and being a vet. I could have been pregnant and all I could think about was myself, I didn't think of you," she put her hand over her heart as she spoke these words. "Then my exams were approaching and I working towards uni and I didn't even notice that you had taken a shine to Lola. I don't blame you. I mean, come on, she's pretty."

"She's not as pretty as you," Jay admitted, genuinely.

Abi scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Oh give over- you were all over her!" She took a sip of her coffee.

"It was just a phase," Jay said. "I should have just gone to Bolton with you, we would have been so happy."

Abi frowned, "Would we really, Jay? You didn't want to go to Bolton."

"I should have realised that you were working towards our future and me spending time with Lola didn't make me see that," Jay argued. "I was an idiot."

"No you're not," Abi insisted. "You and Lola were perfect for each other. She's like the female version of you."

Jay chuckled, "It doesn't mean that we are the perfect couple though. I mean, you know how we turned out in the end. I should never have gone there."

"You were really into her Jay when you got with her," Abi responded. "You were itching to go and join her in Newcastle once you got your tag off!"

"Abs," Jay took a deep breath. "I loved you for you and I still do. My feelings for Lola were nowhere near to how I felt for you and they never will be. You're the one for me."

Jay went to reach out for Abi's hand until she jerked it away from his reach, quickly putting her mug back down on the coffee table and standing up to grab her coat. "I'm sorry but I can't do this."

"Abs please," Jay pleaded as he rose to his feet. "What do I have to do to get you to believe me?"

"No Jay," Abi raised her voice in a firm manner. "Just because you were my _'knight in shining armour'_ tonight does not mean anything's changed. It hasn't."

Jay's lips twitched upwards into a small smirk. He liked the sound of 'knight in shining armour'. He knew for definite that he would rescue Abi any day, just give him a time and destination.

"Stop smiling," Abi demanded, sternly. "I'm serious Jay. I just physically and mentally cannot go back there, not again. I'm sorry but you really hurt me."

"Then let me fix that," Jay insisted.

"No Jay," she told him gently. "I think we both need to move on."

"What if I don't want to?" Jay challenged, raising his eyebrow.

"Well you're going to have to," Abi confirmed quietly. With that, she started to make her way out of the living room.

"Abs," Jay's voice lingered behind her.

By the doorway, Abi turned her head round with her hand resting on the doorframe. She noted how Jay had a desperate look on his face. This would have usually made Abi go weak at the knees but she learnt how to control it and not drop down to his level. She knew she was stronger than that.

"I'm sorry."

This was all that could spill out of Abi's mouth before she left the flat. Jay sighed with exasperated as he ran his hands through his hair. He knew that he really damaged Abi when he ended things over a year ago and he knew that things wouldn't be able to pick up where they left off. He was aware that things were not just going to slide back into place. He knew it was going to take time. But time is not what he had. Abi was leaving for New Zealand in less than a week and Jay needed to act fast. Jay loved Abi with all of his heart and soul and he wasn't going to let her slip between his fingers, not again…


	11. Chapter 11

Time had quickly crept up on Albert Square and finally the winter sun introduced Abi's final day in Walford before she went to New Zealand. Whether Abi was going to return to Walford, she did not know. But what the young Branning did know while she was jogging around Walford was that she was hoping that she would put everything behind her and that she would be a new self, who would have completely scribbled out in black marker her relationship with Ben and most of all, her feelings for Jay would just be a memory because that's what she was intending to happen. Abi and Jay hadn't even spoken since Jordan assaulted her- she'd been ignoring his calls and not been replying to his texts.

She needed to put everything that she had experienced in Walford behind her. That included the family life she once had in number 5 with her mum, dad, Lauren and Oscar which got shattered multiple times due to her father's deceptive ways, her mum's cancer, her dad now in prison, her tainted relationship with Ben, her friendship with Lola and lastly, her ever so long lasting relationship with Jay. She was determined to draw a line under it _**all**_ in order to create a better life for herself.

Abi was turning into the market and running through it when she noticed Jay in his jogging gear assisting a young girl who was round about her age who had spilt coffee down her. The girl had long dark brunette hair and tanned skin and was wearing blue denim jeans, a light brown leather jacket along with matching ankle boots. Abi watched as Jay put a comforting hand on her arm before leading her into the café. He didn't even notice her. Abi swallowed salvia as she had to watch Jay lead another girl into a café. Could she be replacing her sometime soon? Does Jay like this girl and has forgotten about her before she had even got on the plane? Abi shook her head to remove those thoughts from her head. She _**shouldn't**_ be thinking like that. After all, this is what she wanted, for them both to move on and this is possibly what Jay was doing and that this is Jay's way of _**moving on.**_

Abi let out a sigh. She wouldn't admit it but she did feel her stomach knot with jealously but she knew that it was for the best. She slowly turned away from the empty scene and carried on jogging down the market. She had some packing to do anyway.

"I'm really sorry about the coffee," Jay apologised as he put a cup of coffee in front of the girl and sat opposite her in the café. He had ordered a chilled bottle of water for himself.

"Don't worry about it," the girl insisted. She smirked slightly, "I caught you off guard."

Jay smiled, "I didn't quite catch your name?"

"It's Linzi," Linzi smiled, "Yours?"

"Jay," Jay grinned. "I haven't seen you around here before?"

"Oh my mum has _**acquaintances**_ in the Queen Vic pub," Linzi rolled her eyes. "It's just a flying visit really. She wanted to discuss this annual charity event malarkey."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Jay questioned, sounding interested.

"I really don't know, I never seem to pay attention if I'm honest," Linzi giggled innocently.

Jay chuckled. If only he could drown out the Mitchells then his life would be far more easier! Just at that moment, the door to the café opened and in came a certain blond female who Jay couldn't stand to be in the same place as.

"Oh have you been out jogging?" Lola observed as she looked Jay's body up and down as he sat in his black joggers and a grey t-shirt. Little Lexi was stood beside Lola and holding her hand and was smiling cutely at Jay.

"No I've been swimming," Jay answered sarcastically. Linzi stifled a laugh evidently as she took a sip from her coffee.

Lola turned her head towards Linzi, "Excuse me but what's so funny?" She asked defensively.

"Nothing, nothing," Linzi shook her head as she continued to sip her coffee.

Keeping her eyes hooked on the dark haired girl sitting before her, Lola stared coldly as she turned to Jay. She let out a soft sigh, "Look I'm sorry about what happened with Abi the other night, alright. Can we just talk? Please?"

Jay let out a frustrated and heavy sigh, "Look I have _**nothing**_ to say to you alright Lo? You haven't been bothering me for the past few days, which has been great, can we just keep it that way? I'm not interested. We are _**not**_ getting back together. I suggest if you want to be in my life at all in the future as friends then I suggest you just back off!"

Lola looked at Jay heartbroken. For all these years, Jay had meant one hell of a lot to her, even if it was just as friends. Now since she broke up with him to be with Dexter, she knew that it had changed everything. Dexter was a mistake, she realised that as soon as she left Newcastle. Maybe if she just stayed friends with Jay then things would have still been great now, but they couldn't stay friends, considering how she felt for Jay romantically. She loved Jay, she was certain of that.

"Come on Lex, I'll buy you some sweets," Lola spoke sadly as she quickly led Lexi out of the café. Jay rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his water.

"She looked a handful," Linzi commented with a smirk.

Jay sighed, "Tell me about it. I should never have gone there."

"Yeah, well exes can be a nightmare," Linzi observed as she sipped her coffee.

"Yeah..." Jay's voice drifted as he got the image of a certain blonde in his head and it certainly wasn't Lola. It was Abi Branning. Yes, Abi did get on his nerves when they broke up as she got into a relationship with Ben when they both knew that he was gay and then Abi moving in with them was the final straw. Jay _**knew**_ that Abi was better than that, no matter how much she denied that Ben wasn't gay and she was living in a toxic relationship which was bound to come tumbling to the ground. But Jay was right, no matter how much he loved Abi, he knew that her relationship with Ben was going to end in tears in which it did. What also irritated Jay was that Abi could be just as stubborn as he was, it was clear how Abi felt about Jay but she would not take those feelings further no matter how much Jay tried. But he was aware that the clock was ticking and that he had to act fast before it was too late.

* * *

Lola was quickly walking across the market to get to the Minute Mart with Lexi in tow. She wasn't thinking of what she doing. She had made a complete mess of her life. Even though Lexi was too little to understand, she just had to watch her mother be humiliated by the man who the closest thing to being a dad to her. Even though Lexi didn't acknowledge Jay as her daddy, Jay was the only guy that was there for Lola and Lexi, no matter what, he would always make time for them and that was what Lola loved about Jay. But it was all gone now.

"Ooohh, sorry!" Lola chorused in surprise with a male voice as she bashed into someone on her travels.

Lola looked up to find Jordan Johnson looking down at her with a little boy gripping onto his hand.

"Oh, it's you," Lola said bluntly.

"You don't even know me? Not really, you only saw me," Jordan narrowed his eyebrows.

"You're Abi's bit on the side," Lola smiled bitterly as she tried to walk past Jordan but he touched her shoulder firmly.

"Me and Abi are just friends, love," Jordan reassured. He looked Lola up and down with a slight grin dancing upon his lips. "Besides, why would I want a burger when I saw a steak that night?"

Lola laughed, "Yeah, if you're trying to flatter me, you may want to rephrase that."

"Yeah sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that," Jordan scratched his neck awkwardly. "I mean that you are a very attractive woman and you really stood out the other night in the Vic and I'm honoured that I got the chance to bump into you."

Lola giggled awkwardly at Jordan's cringiness before she looked down and noticed the little boy with Jordan showing Lexi his toy dinosaur. Lola smiled at the little children's interaction.

"Is that your son?" Lola observed as she nodded towards the young boy.

"Yeah," Jordan chuckled as he ruffled his son's afro black hair. "His name's JJ." Jordan looked at Lexi and gave a small smile, "Is that your daughter?"

"Yeah she's mine," Lola smiled. "This is Lexi."

"She's beautiful just like her mother," Jordan commented cheekily. "How about we go out for a drink sometime?"

"Well how about if I bump into you again, I'll give you your answer?" Lola suggested flirtatiously. "I best be off." With that, Lola made her way into the entrance of the Minute Mart.

"I didn't catch your name?!" Jordan called out.

Lola's head turned as she flashed him a smile, "If we bump into each other again, you'll learn that!"

Jordan watched as Lola vanished into the shop and smiled to himself before walking out of sight.

* * *

"I can't believe how big he's got!" Abi squealed excitedly as she was on Skype to Lauren with baby Louie on her lap.

"Yeah he's a handful though," Lauren laughed as Louie's head was rested on her arm. Louie couldn't sit up quite yet, he was only just over two months old. "He never wants to miss a thing!"

"So how are you and Peter?" Abi asked.

"Yeah, we're good," Lauren smiled widely. "We have some news for you when you get here."

"You're not pregnant again are you?!" Abi asked, suddenly alarmed.

"God no!" Lauren shrieked, "It's going to be a good while yet until I have a second child, I'm just getting my bearings with Louie."

"Yeah but you're doing great!" Abi complimented.

Lauren smiled at Abi's comment before changing the subject, "Anyway how have things being Walford? What's going on with you and Ben? He's not bothering you is he?"

"Only once," Abi rolled her eyes. "But I shrugged him off."

Lauren raised her eyebrow as she noticed Abi looked away with a thoughtful expression drawn onto her face, "I know that look. Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"It's nothing," Abi quickly shook her head to try and shake her thoughts away.

"Abs..." Lauren said warily.

Abi sighed, "It's Jay."

Lauren's eyes widened when she noticed Abi's troublesome expression, the troublesome expression that conveyed boy trouble. "Oh Abi please tell me it's not true what I'm thinking. You and Jay are history. You've been finished for like over a year!"

"I know," Abi argued. "It's a long story."

"Care to explain?" Lauren raised her eyebrow.

"When me and Ben broke up, Jay and I...we slept together," Abi gulped, knowing she was going to get a lecture from Lauren.

"Revenge sex with Jay!" Lauren exclaimed, "Oh Abi...why did you go back there after everything he's put you through?"

"It wasn't revenge sex, it just happened," Abi said timidly.

"It just _**happened**_?" Lauren looked on suspiciously through the laptop. "Come on, tell me, what happened after that?"

"Well Jay wants me back, saying he's in love with me," Abi sighed.

"God no!" Lauren sighed in exasperation, "Abi please listen to me when I tell you this, don't go back there with Jay, please."

"I'm not," Abi stated adamantly. "I don't want to go back there again, he hurt me too much, and I've told him this. It's for the best."

"Well good for you!" Lauren smiled, "And you're right, it is for the best."

"The sooner I'm in New Zealand the better!" Abi decided.

Lauren smiled, "It'll be fun. What time are you getting here?"

"I'll be coming in 9 'o' clock Sunday afternoon your time."

"Okay, well Peter will be coming to pick you up," Lauren reassured. "Anyway, I better be getting Louie to bed. It's 9 'o' clock at night over here!"

Abi giggled, "Okay, well I'll see you really soon."

"See you little sis!" Lauren smiled as she ended the call.

"Abi, is that you?!" Dot called from the stairs as she walked into the kitchen.

"In here," Abi replied as she closed her laptop down.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Dot asked as she put the kettle on.

"Oh please," Abi smiled appreciatively.

Dot sighed sadly, "Oh Abi, it's a shame that you're leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah well it's the next great adventure," Abi smiled. "Plus, I can't stay in Walford forever."

"You're always welcome to stay here," Dot insisted. "You're the only real family that I've got round here."

Abi smiled sadly, "You've got Fatboy."

"Just promise that you and Lauren will come and visit at least once a year," Dot said sincerely. "I wouldn't want to miss you lot growing up, especially little Louie."

"Of course!" Abi smiled, "And you're always welcome to come to New Zealand."

"Oh Abi, I don't think I could sit on those long flights!" Dot exclaimed flamboyantly as she placed two cups of tea on the kitchen table.

"Okay well annual visits to London it is," Abi teased. "Plus, I may be coming back soon. Right now, I just need to get away, to clear my head."

Dot nodded, "Well if you ever decide to come back for good, you know you're always welcome here."

Abi gave a small smile towards Dot. She would be lying if she said that she wouldn't miss Walford because she would in some ways. Walford had been her home for the past ten years and so many good and bad memories were made there. She was about to move on from that, even if it was just for a few months or for good, she was going in the same direction like Lauren and her mother and Oscar, her Uncle Jack, and even her father if she counted prison as moving on. Maybe she would become a better person if she made a fresh start elsewhere.

* * *

Ben Mitchell let out a sigh as he sat up the kitchen table in the Mitchell household and was tapping the side of his phone on the table as he was deep in thought. All of a sudden, the back door that was attached to the kitchen swung open and Jay entered in his running gear, panting.

"Alright," Jay greeted as he placed his water bottle down on the table. He took one look at Ben when he received no response and raised his eyebrow. "What's got your wand in a knot?"

"Did you know that Abi's leaving tomorrow?" Ben huffed, avoiding eye contact with Jay.

The penny dropped.

At the back of his mind, Jay was aware of this but was trying not to think about it because deep down it was breaking his heart that his true love was flying away from him tomorrow. He had so little time to fix things. He really couldn't let her go. He couldn't bare a life without his Branningflakes in it.

"Yeah, yeah I did," Jay mumbled.

"I need her you know Jay," Ben stated slowly but calmly. "I need to have her in my life. I have to have her back."

Jay rolled his eyes as he folded his arms across his chest, "Abi's not a toy y'know, you can't force her to do things that she doesn't want to do. Abi does have her own mind!"

Ben glared up at Jay, "Yeah Abi really did have her own mind when she slept with you last week didn't she? If she had her own mind, she wouldn't have laid her hands on you after everything you put her through with Lola. How much you hurt her."

"Yeah well at least I didn't string her along like you have for the past year," Jay growled. "At least I told Abi the truth that I may have been developing feelings for Lola instead of just stringing her along and making out that everything was alright between us. _**At least**_ I didn't do the dirty on Abi behind her back unlike _**you!**_ You know what? Abi really is an amazing girl and deserves so much better than this!"

Ben rose from his position in the chair to face Jay. "Like you, you mean?" He scoffed, "Believe it or not Jay, over the year you have had a million chances with Abi but for some reason, you managed to screw things up. This was just one stupid mistake and you know how forgiving Abi can be, it won't ruin what we had. Plus, we were best friends before we started being a couple, Abi wouldn't just throw that away."

Jay huffed angrily and his green pools popped out of his head, "You're gay Ben! Abi saw you with a man, there's no way in hell she would go back to you! You're gay, start accepting it and stop trying to fob everyone else off!"

Jay took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, "I'm going to get in the shower." He said quickly before dashing off upstairs.

* * *

Time was running out and Jay was stuck in the Arches on an afternoon shift. He was working on a car engine but he wasn't really focused. All he could think of was Abi and how he had even less time to claim her heart back. He just had to think of a plan and fast.

He was still extremely annoyed with Ben and his behaviour. Jay knew Abi and he knew that there was no way that Abi would even go near Ben. He would even consider that Ben hurt her more than he did. Ben was going under a false identity for over a year and Abi happened to be the victim. Jay still couldn't understand why Ben would use Abi like that, after all those years of friendship. Jay started to consider that perhaps it was his fault that Abi got into this mess. It wasn't worth breaking up with her just to be with Lola for a week before things broke off. Jay didn't feel the same way as he did with Abi. If he didn't end things between them then they would bound to have still been together. Maybe they would have been living a new life in Bolton. Abi would have been in her second year of university and they most likely would have had their own little home. It wouldn't have been much but it would have been perfect for them.

"Phil."

Jay looked up from his work to find Gary standing in front of Phil who was sitting at his desk, peering over the newspaper.

"Gary," Phil breathed.

Gary gulped, "I've been back in Walford for a few days now and I'm in need of a job. What happened between you and Dawn is in the past now and I'm willing to put it behind me as we all have bound to have moved on from it by now. So, could I please have a job here?"

Phil sighed heavily as he folded his newspaper and placed it on his desk, "That all depends…"

"Depends on what?" Gary frowned.

"Whether you're planning on staying or going back on that little boat of yours," Phil commented.

Gary rolled his eyes, "Dawn and I want to make a go of things in Walford. To be honest, Walford has only ever been the place that I called home."

Phil smiled timidly, "You can start first thing tomorrow."

"Great!" Gary smiled widely, "Thanks Phil."

"Don't mention it," Phil answered. He turned to Jay, "Jay, you can go on a break now."

Jay nodded before he made his way out of the Arches in his overalls with Gary walking beside him.

"So I guess you and me will be working together," Gary grinned.

"Looks like it, yeah," Jay grinned back as they just passed the community centre.

"Hey you two!"

Jay and Gary turned around to find Dawn trying to catch up with them, gripping onto Summer's hand.

"Here are my two favourite girls!" Gary commented cheekily, "How did little miss princess like her first day at kids club?" He asked softly to Summer as he ruffled her hair.

Summer swiped Gary's hand, "I'm not a dog!" Dawn and Jay chuckled at Summer's response. "Mummy said that we can go to the park!" she continued excitedly.

"Did she now?" Gary asked suspiciously, raising his eyebrow playfully.

Dawn smiled at her other half and little girl's connection. Even though it took her a long while, she did love Jase but she was glad that she went for Gary in the end. If Jase was still alive, she would have still been with him but sadly he passed away, but she was glad that she found the path to Gary in the end. Gary really cared and loved both her and Summer. Gary was the only one who has ever been a father to Summer and it makes her heart melt whenever Summer calls him 'daddy'.

"Anyway, how did it go with Phil?" Dawn changed the subject as they continued walking.

"Well I start tomorrow morning," Gary grinned.

"He gave you a job?!" Dawn squealed. "Oh darlin', I'm so happy for you! Y'know I might ask that Linda and Mick behind at the Vic whether I can possibly have a job, I mean I do have experience working in the Vic and plus I have been doing bar work when we've been away." Dawn considered as they turned the corner.

"Yeah sounds good," Gary agreed, "The more money, the better." Gary suddenly noticed an advertisement on the bulletin board outside the Vic. "Oh look, Christmas karaoke tonight! Are you two up for it?"

"Yeah I'm not bothered," Jay replied casually.

"Yeah why not," Dawn smiled. "Gives me the chance to ask for a job don't it?"

Gary leaned closer into Jay, "Yeah and maybe a sweet little tune will get a certain blonde go wild, eh Jay?" He nudged him softly.

Jay rolled his eyes smirking, "Shut up."

"Mummy, can we go to the park now?!" Summer asked desperately, tugging on Dawn's arm.

Dawn rolled her eyes and sighed as she turned to Gary and Jay, "8 coming onto18, see you later boys!"

Jay chuckled as he watched his stepmother and little stepsister start to walk towards the market. He let out a sigh, "It's hard to forget that she's not that little two year old anymore."

Gary smiled, "Yeah, kids these days grow up too fast!" He turned to Jay, "You got time for a coffee?"

"Yeah, why not?" Jay grinned as the two men headed into the café.

* * *

Abi was sat crouched up on a bench in the park, wrapped up in her khaki winter coat with the orangey brown fur hood, with a paper cup of coffee warming the palms of her hands. Often, she would occasionally return to the park if she wanted to gather her thoughts. She wouldn't say it was a particularly lonely area either, she would hear the comforting sounds of the birds or parents with their children or just people ordering food and drinks from the cabin behind her, but she knew that no one would disturb her a lot there, well not unless she was found.

The past week had been a rollercoaster but it had given her the gateway to finally do something about her life. She had suffered a terrible breakup with Jay two weeks before getting into a relationship with her gay best friend, she knew it was a wrong move and she knew things weren't going to end well but Abi was determined to make things work. She needed a distraction, she didn't want to be alone because she certainly knew that Jay wasn't. She should have listened to Lauren and her dad. She should have still gone to university and made something of her life, even if it wasn't the right course, it would have helped her to become a vet eventually and plus, it would have helped her move on from Jay and her past life in Walford. But that was it. Bolton and university was the life she was going to have with Jay and she was scared to go into it alone.

Continuing to stay in Walford done her more damage than good. She ended up ruining a friendship between her and Ben which she thought they can never go back to as due to Ben's sexuality, it caused him to cheat on her with another man. However, being fully focused on her relationship with Ben seemed to distract her from Jay starting up a relationship with Lola which was what he had wanted ever since the two of them broke up. But that was over now.

Even if old feelings were developing for Jay again, she was adamant that she was not going to go back there. She couldn't go through that again. She had to leave and Abi therefore felt excited for the future that was possibly waiting for her in New Zealand.

Abi was shaken out of her thoughts when her phone vibrated in her coat pocket. Her hand scrambled through the pocket as she pulled it out.

 **One New Message- Holly:**

 _Want to meet up with the girls tonight? Give you a proper send off? Love you toots xx_

Abi smiled as she clicked to send her reply but got distracted when a familiar blonde haired little girl came running over to catch her pink smiley ball that appeared to be rolling on the floor near Abi.

"Don't go too far, Summer," Dawn instructed, "Stay where I can see you."

"Yes mummy," Summer responded cutely as she started throwing the ball against the oak tree and back towards her.

Abi watched the interaction unfold as she turned towards Dawn and quickly looked away. Dawn looked at the young blonde woman and smiled sadly before deciding to walk over to Abi.

"Do you want another coffee?" Dawn offered, noting how Abi was drinking the hot beverage.

"No I'm alright thank you," Abi said politely, giving her a small smile.

Dawn sighed before swinging her legs over and sitting beside Abi, "I guess I haven't really had the opportunity to ask whether you're okay about the other night, you know with that Jordan situation."

"Oh I'm fine," Abi said hesitantly, "Haven't really thought about it, just steered clear," Abi giggled in which Dawn also giggled at in response.

"I've heard you're going to New Zealand tomorrow," Dawn changed the subject.

"Yeah, can't wait!" Abi said with a fake enthusiasm.

Dawn sighed sadly, "Don't feel you have to go though Abi. I know things have been rough lately, I understand that but they can be sorted, don't feel you have to run away from it all."

"I'm not running away from anything," Abi said, adamantly.

"Well Jay doesn't want you to go," Dawn announced, getting straight to the point.

Abi laughed bitterly as she turned to face Dawn, "Well funny enough, Jay doesn't own me, I can do what I like and plus, it's for the best and Jay knows that. Look, he's probably told you the _'deal'_ with me and him and I can't go back there."

"As a matter of fact, Jay has told me what went on between you and him," Dawn pointed out. "And yes, I know, men can be idiots at times, they really can and I don't blame you for having trust issues and not wanting to get hurt after everything that happened with that Lola bird."

"Well then, please can you respect my decision?" Abi asked quietly.

"You probably have it easy with Jay y'know," Dawn commented.

Abi frowned, "What's that supposed to mean? Things have never been easy between me and Jay."

Dawn smiled, "I guess you were a bit young but do you remember Rob Minter and the doctor, May Wright?"

Abi took a while to think before she came to realise, "Oh yeah, your brother Mickey was always saying how Rob wasn't good enough for you," Abi giggled.

Dawn nodded, "And he was right and that's what I admire about you, Abi. You have a mind of your own whereas I didn't and I was a bit older than you when I got involved with Rob. I'll admit this to anyone but I really did love Rob and would have moved the sun and stars just to be with that man and have him all to myself, I even carried his child," Dawn sighed, her eyes indicating towards Summer. "Rob was always messing me around and his wife was always involved. Him and May wanted to bring up Summer but I wanted her and for Rob and I to be a family. I was so stupid back then."

"Yeah, didn't Rob and May kidnap you and hold you hostage while you were heavily pregnant to try and steal Summer?" Abi frowned, choosing her words carefully.

"Yeah, they did," Dawn said quietly. "It was all part of their plan the whole time, to get me where they wanted me and then to take _**my**_ baby. But I learnt my lesson, after that I could _**never**_ trust Rob again. After I had Summer, Rob came round and proposed to me and declared his undying love for me, but all he got in return was a punch in the face and how I never wanted to see him again."

Abi burst out laughing, "Well, at least you came to your senses in the end."

"Well look what it had to take in order for me to do so," Dawn said, grinning. She then gazed at her daughter who was playing happily with her ball by the tree. "Even though it took me a while to adjust and get use to, I wouldn't change my baby girl for the world. I would go through that all again just to have her."

"H-has Rob been in contact because of Summer?" Abi asked, hesitantly.

Dawn shook her head, "Not at all, he's probably running a life of his own now but I don't think Rob has really forgotten about Summer. Personally, I think after what he put me through and knowing that he crossed the final line, he would never dream of getting in contact with me for Summer's sake. Plus, Summer hasn't known any different, I don't think she needs to, not just yet. As far as she's concerned, Gary's her daddy, she calls him daddy and sees him as her daddy and she's happy."

Abi smiled at the little girl, "She doesn't even look like Rob- she looks more like you!" She complimented.

"She has Rob's nose," Dawn scoffed. Then, the moment suddenly turned relaxed. "End of the day, I just want to tell you that you have it easy with Jay. I don't want to defend Jay or anything even though he is considered as my stepson but he is a pretty decent bloke and he really does think the world of you even if he had a phase where he took a fancy to another girl."

"But it was my best friend," Abi cried.

"I know sweetheart," Dawn spoke soothingly. "But people do make mistakes and sometimes, you have to let people fix their mistakes. You just have to learn to trust Jay again."

Abi sighed frustratedly as she ran her hand through her blonde fringe, "Look I'll admit, I do have strong feelings for Jay but I do not intend to explore them any further. Yes, we were on and off for the past four years or so when we were together but this time, he hurt me really bad and I'm scared to go back. I need to be myself again Dawn as I haven't been myself for a very long time because you're right in what you said, I do have my own mind and I am going to New Zealand." She paused before letting out a small sigh, "Look, I need to go. I have some packing to do." With that, she quickly got up and escaped the park.

* * *

The Queen Vic was heaving by the time it reached 8pm. Abi entered the pub in a sparkly long sleeved navy dress which came down to her knees with her hair curled and wearing simple black heels on her feet.

"Here she is!" Sophie squealed as her, Holly and Chloe welcomed Abi to join them with open arms.

"So you made it then," Holly teased.

"Well I couldn't miss it could I?" Abi grinned.

"Anyway, what you having?" Chloe asked as she beckoned Lee from behind the bar.

"Oh just a vodka and orange," Abi answered simply when her eyes drifted and were focused on one thing. Bernadette had just returned from the toilets and had noticed Abi standing by the bar. Abi and Bernadette seemed to be having some sort of awkward staring match before Bernadette gulped.

"What are you doing here?" Abi asked, abruptly.

Bernadette sighed as she walked over to Abi, "Look I wanted you to go to New Zealand on a good note ok? I know what happened last week was bang out of order for me to do and I'm sorry, I guess we all had a bit too much to drink. I just hope we can be friends again and I wish you a safe trip."

Abi grinned, "Well I guess you're forgiven."

Bernadette and Abi smiled at each other before pulling each other in for a hug. Bernadette sighed happily before pulling away, "I know we've had our ups and downs but I'm really going to miss you Abi."

"Yeah me too," Chloe smiled as she handed Abi her drink, "Just don't be a stranger."

"Well you never know, I may be back before you know it," Abi teased.

"Look, Abi's there, Jay," Gary pointed out from the other end of the Vic as he sat with Jay, Dawn and Summer.

"She looks beautiful," Jay gazed at the girl who he has really ever loved since he was 16 years old.

"More reason to go and talk to her then," Gary grinned.

"I'll talk to her later," Jay shrugged it off casually. "She's spending time with her friends at the moment."

Just at that moment, a middle aged woman and her younger daughter who seemed familiar came bouncing into the pub, Thelma Bragg and her daughter who were slight competitors to Mick and Linda.

"Thelma," Linda greeted with a smile. "You made it then?"

"How could I not?" Thelma said eagerly, slamming her handbag down onto the bar. "Two white wines when you're ready."

Linda smiled politely as she dealt with Thelma's drink order. Thelma's daughters' eyes wandered towards the young redheaded bloke who she had the pleasure to meet earlier on that day. Jay's eyes were wandering around the pub when he suddenly caught Linzi's eye and flashed one another a smile. Jay got up and walked over to Linzi.

"Two times in one day," Jay grinned.

"Alright," Linzi giggled.

"So what brings you here?" Jay enquired, making polite conversation.

"Linda and Mick invited us here and I know how much my mum loves a good knees up," Linzi grinned before letting out a sad sigh, "Any excuse to get wasted really."

Jay smiled sympathetically, "Can I get you a drink?"

"There you go babe," Thelma smiled as she handed Linzi her glass of wine. She spotted Jay standing beside her, "And who is this handsome man?" She asked, wriggling her eyebrows.

"Oh this is Jay," Linzi smiled awkwardly. "Jay, this is my mum."

"Call me Thelma," Thelma added.

"Well it's nice to meet you," Jay smiled politely.

Thelma nudged Linzi, "Well go on, you're young, go and have some fun- don't worry about me!"

From the other side of the bar, Abi watched closely as she watched Jay escort Linzi to a quiet table that was close to Gary and Dawn's. She frowned as she recognised this girl from outside the café earlier.

"Who's that girl that Jay is with?" Abi wondered out loud.

"Why are you jealous, Abs?" Holly teased with a wink before taking a swig of her drink.

"No," Abi laughed awkwardly as she ran her hand through her hair. To be honest, she didn't actually know. Maybe she was jealous. She had that dreadful feeling digging into the pit of her stomach. However, she chose not to act on this. So what if Jay is with another girl? She was going to New Zealand tomorrow and knew that it was the best for _**the both of them.**_ It was time to be mature adults.

"Oh honey, I wouldn't worry," Holly swung her arm round Abi's shoulders. "I bet if you went over there and showed him what you're made of, he wouldn't give that girl another glance."

"Abi..."

Abi's head turned to find Jordan standing near the entrance of the Vic and was looking at her with sad eyes. Abi's body turned stiff and she stared coldly towards her old friend.

"What are you doing? Stay away from me," Abi demanded.

"Abi please," Jordan begged. "I'm sorry about what happened the other night. I really didn't mean for it to happen."

"Didn't you hear her the first time?" Chloe raised her voice, "She said for you to stay away from her and I don't blame her, you're a freak. Pick on someone your own size."

Jordan slowly felt his fist clench, but he chose to ignore Abi's friends. Abi had always been his dearest and closest friend from school, even if they were in a relationship once but he wanted to make things right between them. He continued to look at Abi with puppy dog eyes, "Abi please, I am really sorry. You're a good friend. I don't want to lose you."

"Well I have lost all respect for you Jordan," Abi stated coldly. "For my whole life I have been nothing but nice to people and be there for them and they just treat me like shit in the end and I guess that you went a different route. Just leave me alone Jordan, I want _**nothing**_ to do with you!"

Jordan looked away sadly and dragged his feet over to the table where Denise and her family were sitting with JJ.

"I take it it didn't work?" Denise assumed sadly.

Jordan sighed, "No it didn't," he looked down at his son and stroked his hair. "How's he been?"

"He's been good as gold," Denise beamed. "He ate all of his dinner, didn't you?" She smiled over at JJ who nodded proudly.

"Good boy," Jordan chuckled as he ruffled his hair up a bit.

Just at that moment, the doors to the Vic swung open and two lively children came bounding in with a pushchair being pushed behind them by Lola with Billy and Honey following. Jordan felt his mouth twitch up into a smirk. He looked over at Denise, "Excuse me a moment."

With that, Jordan walked over to Lola who was too distracted as she was talking to her grandfather.

"Well, well, well," Jordan smirked cheekily, grabbing Lola's attention. "We meet again."

"Alright," Lola giggled. "Two meetings in one day, you must be lucky," she teased flirtatiously.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Jordan suggested.

"Yeah I can't see why not," Lola grinned, looking over at Jordan's table to find JJ sitting there. "Maybe our kids could have a little play date."

* * *

It was getting late into the evening and the karaoke night at the Vic was in full swing and before everyone knew it, it was almost 10pm. Lola and Jordan had found themselves a table and was getting to know each other whereas Lexi and JJ were sitting with them, engrossed in Lexi's colouring book. The young parents already knew that their children were going to be groggy the next day, but for some reason they didn't seem to mind. At least it stopped Lola from thinking about Jay as she actually enjoyed Jordan's company, despite stealing the odd glance at Jay who was sitting with Linzi and talking comfortably on another table.

Abi was still seated at the bar with her friends, enjoying her last evening in the Vic before flying off to New Zealand the following day. However, her and her friends were not happy when the Mitchells entered half an hour ago and were sitting close to them, but chose to ignore their existence. Although, she couldn't resist but steal glances at Jay throughout the evening, but whenever he went to look at her or in her direction, she quickly looked away.

"Can I get you another drink?" Jay asked Linzi as he stood up with an empty pint glass clasped in his hand.

"Yeah same again please," Linzi smiled as she handed him her wine glass. Jay smiled back before making his way over to the bar.

"Same again?" Linda offered, as she walked over to Jay from behind the bar.

"Yes please," Jay smiled as he watched Linda walk away with his glasses.

"So who is this girl?" Gary asked suspiciously as he went and stood beside Jay.

"Linzi," Jay simply answered.

"Oh, as far as I was aware, you were still after Abi," Gary furrowed his eyebrows.

"I am, I can have girls as friends you know," Jay rolled his eyes.

"Tut, tut," Gary shook his head jokingly. "And look where that got you last time. If I were you, I would tell that Linzi girl that you just want to be friends and tell her you are into someone else, set the record straight y'know."

"Yeah I think you're right, I'll do that," Jay scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before leaning closer into Gary and murmuring, "For the record, I think it's making Abi jealous, I swear that she's been looking over non-stop."

Gary chuckled, "Well put her out of her misery," he nudged Jay. "I still think you should put your name down for a song."

"You really think that's a good idea? Oh I don't know Gal," Jay groaned as he threw his head back.

"Of course it is," Gary answered convincingly. "That way, everyone will know how much Abi means to you."

"There you go Jay," Linda smiled as she put the two drinks down on the bar whilst Jay gave her the money, quickly thanking her.

"What can I get you?" Linda smiled politely.

"Another pint, a white wine and spritzer and an orange fruit shoot please," Gary smiled. Linda returned the smile as she went to deal with the new order.

Jay let out a loud sigh, "Alright, I'll do it but I think I will need a bit of Dutch courage." His eyes wandered to find Lee coming out from the back of the pub and behind the bar, "Oi Lee!" Jay called.

Lee's head turned to where the voice was coming from before walking over to Jay, "You alright mate, what can I do for ya?"

"Oh you couldn't give us a Sambucca could ya?" Jay asked desperately.

"He's going to go on the karaoke," Gary teased, grinning from ear to ear, "To impress a certain lady."

"Isn't it a bit too early to be singing words of romance? You only met her five minutes ago," Lee joked.

"Not to her," Jay tutted.

"To Abi," Gary commented, smirking. Jay looked at Gary and gave him a death stare before turning back to Lee who was grinning.

"Get in there my friend!" Lee triumphed before giving Jay a shot, "On me. You're going to need it with a beautiful lady like Abs."

"I need all the courage I can get," Jay added as he chugged down the shot, allowing the burning liquid to stream down his throat. "Where do I put my name down?"

Lee chuckled as he handed Jay a request slip and a pen and watched as Jay filled out the slip.

"Cheers," Jay thanked Lee as he picked up the two drinks and went back to his table where Linzi was patiently waiting.

"There we go," said Jay as he put the drinks down the table and sat back in his seat.

"Thanks," Linzi took a sip of her drink. "I see you have put your name down for karaoke?"

"Yeah," Jay said nervously.

Linzi frowned, "Why do you look so nervous? Your singing can't be that bad surely?"

Jay chuckled nervously, "No it's not that. Listen, I need to talk to you."

Linda looked at Jay with a puzzled facial expression, "Okay..."

Jay sighed, "You're a great girl Linzi but I don't want a relationship and I just want to be friends. Well, that's if you want to. The thing is, I'm really into someone else and I've never really stopped having feelings for her. I'm sorry if I have given you false hope or anything like that."

Linzi burst out laughing, "Jay, you don't have to explain yourself to me! I don't want a relationship either, I just want us to be mates. My intention wasn't to hook up with you, I don't want to be in a relationship at the moment anyway. Plus, you haven't stopped looking at that blonde girl across the bar _**all night**_ so I can kind of guess who the girl you're into is," she grinned. "She's a lucky girl."

"More like I'm the lucky one," Jay sighed. "Anyway, I'm just going to go to the big boys' room."

With that, Jay got up and walked across the pub. He managed to grab Abi's attention as she was sitting at the bar and looking at him.

"Alright Abs?" He asked, making casual conversation.

"Yeah I'm great, you?" Abi responded casually.

"Yeah, good thanks," he gulped. "So you're going to New Zealand tomorrow?"

"Yep," Abi nodded, emphasising the 'p'. She started to twirl her blonde hair round her finger, "So who's that girl you're with?" She asked curiously, pursuing her lips.

"Why, you jealous?" Jay wriggled his eyebrows challengingly.

"What? Me?" Abi giggled awkwardly as she took a sip of her drink. "No."

Jay smirked. Abi should know that he knew her far too well. "Anyway, have a good evening," he bided before making his way over to the men's' toilets. Abi's friends were giggling behind Abi which made Abi spin round, "What?" Abi frowned confused.

"Oh Abi darlin', you were too obvious," Bernadette stated shaking her head. "You made it _**so**_ obvious that you're still into him. We could all tell that you were jealous."

"No I'm not," Abi scoffed. "I'm not into Jay at all and he is entitled to see whoever he likes."

"Come on Abi," Holly sighed. "We know that you still like him or _**love**_ him or whatever."

"You're like that love sick teenager at school all over again," Sophie grinned. "Jay has always made you weak at the knees. He has always had that effect on you."

"I'm not 15 anymore Soph, I'm almost 20 years old and I am not going back there with Jay," Abi retorted.

"Abi, it is obvious that you want to be with Jay but you're just scared," Chloe said, giving her hand a squeeze. "It's okay to be scared."

"Well maybe I do," Abi shrugged it off. "But it doesn't mean that anything is going to happen. Jay and I are history."

And that is what Abi wanted to convince herself and to everyone who questioned it. Her and Jay were history. It irritated her so much how Jay had her near enough wrapped around his little finger and knew which buttons to press. I guess that was the beauty of being in a relationship with the bloke for over three years. It drove Abi insane on how she can be adamant one minute but when Jay comes and sweeps her off her feet, she's practically falling at his feet. She didn't want to be that girl anymore. She couldn't fall back into the arms of Jay Brown.

* * *

"Ben, we have been sitting here for almost an hour and you still haven't spoken to Abi," Phil spoke frustratedly. "Do you want to get her back or not or are you just going to let her go off to New Zealand?"

"Phil," Sharon said warningly.

"What do I say to her?" Ben asked worriedly. "She's with her friends."

"So?" Phil raised her eyebrow, "Just give her the Mitchell charm then she'll come running."

"Oh so is that what you did to me is it?" Sharon raised her eyebrow, slightly taken aback.

"I didn't have to," Phil answered suggestively.

Ben noticed Abi walk out of the toilets with Holly and huffed, "Fine!"

Ben shot out of his seat and walked over to Abi with confidence. He didn't really know what to say to her to make her stay but he knew he had to. His father could never find out the true sexuality of his son. He needed Abi because he felt that he could not be with another girl.

"Abi, can I talk to you please?" He approached her.

"Ugh! What is it with freaks tonight wanting to speak to Abi?!" Holly groaned with exaggeration. "Why can't you just leave her alone?"

"I think you'll find it has nothing to do with you Holly," Ben gritted his teeth. "This is between me and Abi."

"Uh, don't speak to her like that," Abi responded with annoyance. "She's right. Why can't you just leave me alone? Face it Ben, you messed up. There is never going to be a me and you, we are never getting back together. So unless, you want your dad to find out about _your little secret_ then I suggest you back off."

With that, Abi walked back over to the rest of the girl group with Holly following behind her smirking. This left Ben dumbstruck and lost for words before excusing himself to Phil and Sharon before quickly escaping the pub to make them believe that the conversation didn't go well between him and Abi. He didn't want to explain himself to his father.

"Next up, we have Jay," Lee announced from the stage.

Holly nudged Abi, "Look Abs, its lover boy," she teased as they watched Jay get up on the stage and take the microphone off Lee.

"Shut up," Abi hissed.

Lee patted Jay on the back before quickly jumping off of the stage.

Jay took a deep breath and addressed the people who were watching him, "I would like to dedicate this song to a very special woman in my life who holds a very special place in my heart and always will."

As he was saying this, he glanced up at Abi, making immediate eye contact with her which made Abi gulp as she realised that Jay was addressing her. Her friends looked at Abi knowingly as well as a few other people turning towards Abi as they followed Jay's gaze. Abi's cheeks began to flush as the instrumental track began to play. Abi's heart clenched in her throat and her breath was almost taken as she immediately recognised the song that Jay was about to sing. Abi recalled that the numerous times that she often heard Jay sing, he wasn't too bad of a singer- at least he could sing in tune like some people.

Abi's eyes were physically glued onto Jay as he started to sing:

" _I don't want a lot for Christmas,_

 _There is just one thing I need,_

 _I don't care about the presents,_

 _Underneath the Christmas tree,_

 _I just want you for my own,_

 _More than you could ever know,_

 _Make my wish come true,_

 _All I want for Christmas...Is you..."_

Abi wanted to draw her eyes away but she physically couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. People were taking the odd glances at her. The whole pub knew that Jay was singing the song to her. As if Jay would get up there and sing a Mariah Carey hit- Eminem was more his thing! Abi could literally hear her heart beating fast. It felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest.

" _I don't need to hang my stocking, there upon the fireplace,_

 _Santa Claus won't make me happy, with a toy on Christmas Day,_

 _I just want you for my own,_

 _More than you could ever know,_

 _Make my wish come true,_

 _All I want for Christmas is you,_

 _You baby._

 _Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas,_

 _I won't even wish for snow,_

 _And I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe,_

 _I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick,_

 _I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click."_

Abi's body started to fill with sadness as memories of her and Jay came flooding back. From Jay buying her chips at the chippy, their first date, their first kiss, the first time they broke up and got back together, when her and Jay reunited after Roxy getting custody of Amy, when Jay proposed to Abi, when Abi left for Costa Rica, when her and Jay reunited and on Valentine's Day when they slept together for the first time. All the good and bad times that they had together were engraved into her mind. She was determined to show no emotion. She couldn't. She just _**couldn't**_ go back there again. She couldn't hurt herself, not again. She couldn't put herself through that.

" _Cause I just want you here tonight,_

 _Holding on to me so tight,_

 _What more can I do?_

 _Baby, all I want for Christmas is you..._

 _You baby."_

She felt hot tears burning her pupils. No emotion, she promised no emotion. Abi quickly got up and darted out of the pub. She knew that people would have noticed her but she didn't care. She had to leave the pub- she had to get out of there.

"Abi!" Jay called out as he put the microphone on top of the speaker as it let out a loud wail.

"Sorry Lee," Jay quickly apologised before running out of the pub. Jay noticed Abi walking towards the Square Gardens with her back to him and wiping her eyes. "Abs, wait," Jay pleaded.

Abi spun around and glared over at Jay with hot tears streaming down her cheeks, "Why did you do that?! Why did you have to do that in front of all those people?!"

"Because I wanted you to know how much you really mean to me and if that meant standing up in front of everyone and making myself look like an idiot then so be it. You mean everything to me Abi," Jay tried to reason with the woman he loved as he slowly walked towards her. He let out a sigh as he noted how Abi had tears running down her cheeks, "I didn't mean to upset ya. Just please give us another chance."

"You hurt me," Abi whimpered.

Jay clasped her cheeks in his hand, "I know baby, I know and I will never forgive myself for letting you go. Please, just give me a chance to put things right, things will be different this time round, I promise. Please Abi, just don't go to New Zealand, I'm begging you!"

Abi hiccupped as she tried to stop herself from crying. She was gazing up at Jay as his green orbs were shining down upon her like a light of hope. Abi's eyes fluttered closed as she leant into Jay's touch immediately reminiscing of how it felt when they were together, it felt just like this. Abi's eyes opened up again to find Jay still looking down at her, neither of them were saying anything, they just kept looking at each other with none of them having the urge to look away. Before she acknowledged this, Abi was finding herself leaning in towards Jay and he was doing the same. Their lips were edging closer together and before they knew it they were embraced in a passionate kiss. They stayed like that for at least two minutes. Their eyes were closed and their mouths were too busy colliding with one another. They were in their own little bubble, their own little world where nothing else mattered apart from the two of them.

All of a sudden, Abi pulled away and looked up at Jay with her mouth agape.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't do this," Abi stated. "I love you, I love you so much but I just can't do this. I'm sorry."

Before allowing Jay to have the chance to respond, Abi quickly darted off and made a bird's eye for Dot's house without looking back.

"Abi!" Jay called out.

But Abi wasn't turning back, she just kept moving forward.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ Well that was the longest chapter to date! I just wanted so much to happen in this chapter and didn't even realise it was going to be this long! Oh well, it least it will keep you lovely readers satisfied ;) I apologise for the cringiness.

What do you think of Jamie and Lorna in Eastenders lately? They are absolutely smashing it and have given us more hope for a Jabi reunion ;D

I feel so sorry for Jay though. Yes, I admit he should have asked for her age but he's a sweetheart and Linzi may have lied if he asked anyway! Sorry, I'm ranting now. But Linzi in this story is the same age as Abi and not some 14 year old.

Anyway, please leave your comments and if you haven't done so already, please favourite and follow :)

Much love x


	12. Chapter 12

" _I love you so much but I just can't do this I'm sorry."_

Abi's soft and weak words were echoing repeatedly in Jay's head ever since that fateful night after he sang to Abi in front of everyone at the Queen Vic before running after her which resulted in them sharing a passionate kiss. He was sitting up the Mitchell's kitchen table the next morning, draining everyone out, their voices just seemed distant.

"Ben, are you alright to take Denny to school this morning?" Sharon asked in a stressful tone of voice, with Dennis standing beside her with his backpack on his back, "It's just I have to run some errands over at the Albert with Vincent."

"Yeah, should be fine," Ben said reluctantly as he stood up and walked down the hallway to grab his coat.

"What are your plans this morning?" Sharon asked Phil, attempting to make conversation with her husband.

"Oh Lola's asked me to look after Lexi this morning," Phil responded as he finished his coffee.

"Oh right," Sharon murmured as Ben returned with his coat on.

"You ready then, Den?" Ben sighed.

"Yeah," Dennis answered.

"Have a good day darlin'," Sharon smiled at her only son as she kissed the top of his head.

"I'll be at the Arches once I've dropped Denny off at school," Ben confirmed to Jay in which Jay just reluctantly nodded. Ben nodded in return before he left the house with Dennis in tow.

"I better make a move then," Sharon announced as she kissed Phil on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Phil responded as he watched Sharon leave the house with her handbag swung over her shoulder. He turned towards Jay with an expressionless stare, "You made quite the performance last night." He commented.

Jay looked up at Phil and frowned, "What?"

"You know what," Phil responded with a blunt tone. "Singing to Abi like that, her and Ben broke up a week ago and you're there trying to sweep her off her feet."

"Well you've got nothing to worry about there," Jay scoffed as he looked away.

"Well you and Abi are history so what do you expect? Plus, are you forgetting that you and Ben are family? I mean, have some respect. It's clear that Ben misses her and still has strong feelings for her, he is taking her going to New Zealand hard as it without you trying to get your claws in."

Jay looked up at Phil coldly, "Yeah and you would know all about family considering your past with Sharon," he pointed out, clearly referring to Phil and Sharon having an affair when Sharon was still married to Grant. He watched closely as Phil's jaw dropped in disbelief. Jay could tell that Phil was going to explode if he continued but that didn't bother Jay one bit.

"Anyway I better go," Jay concluded. "The Arches isn't going to open up itself."

With that, Jay slung his coat on and departed the Mitchell household. As he left the front yard and closed the gate behind him, he noticed Lola approach him, holding Lexi's hand as she was skipping along the road to see her granddad.

"Jay," Lola began. "Is Phil in there?"

"Yeah," Jay said in a blunt tone before walking off.

"Wait!" Lola called out.

Jay spun around on the spot and looked at Lola with a frustrated expression, "What do you want Lol?"

Lola attempted to hide the smile that was starting to approach her lips at the mention of the nickname 'Lol'. Even where they were now, Jay still called her that, like he had always done. She quickly walked over to Jay with Lexi and let out a sigh.

"How did things go with Scabs last night? You made quite the performance last night," Lola observed.

"Don't call her that!" Jay hissed, "And I think you'll be pleased to know, she still wasn't interested so you can now back off of Abi because it's not her that's _'getting her claws'_ into me, it's actually the other way around. Actually, as if you would care how things went between me and Abi!"

"I care about you," Lola said defensively.

"Whatever," Jay scoffed. "Why don't you go back to that Jordan bloke yeah? You two seemed quite cosy playing happy families last night."

"You jealous?" Lola smirked.

"No Lola, I'm not jealous," Jay snarled. "I just think you should move on because me and you are history that I do not intend to go back to."

Before Lola could say another word and realising that it wasn't right to be arguing in front of a three year old, Jay decided to storm over to the Arches. He froze when he noticed Abi looking at him from outside of Dot's house after taking the bins out. She was looking at him sympathetically. Jay wanted to go over to Abi but his legs physically wouldn't allow him. So, he just ended up watching her going back inside the house and closing the door behind her.

* * *

Abi returned from the kitchen after washing her hands and made her way up the stairs, knowing that she had a bit more packing to do before her adventure this evening. She couldn't believe that the day had finally come, the day that she was leaving Walford for a very long time, if not forever. However, Abi was forever kicking herself for how vulnerable and weak she made herself last night. She sunk herself down to Jay's level, like _literally_ sunk herself down to his level. She never wanted him to know how she truly felt. Of course she loved the idiot, she never really stopped but she had to move on, she had to get away. He hurt her so much that she felt like she couldn't put herself through that again. What if he did it again? She physically wouldn't be able to cope if Jay left her for another girl again. In a way, he did it twice. The first time was when he kissed Kitty behind her back on holiday but she forgave him and then ten months later after she found out, he ends their relationship for her best friend. She felt what hurt the most was that Jay fell for best friend, the one that was always there for her when Jay failed to be, the one that she had sleepovers with and went out and did girly things with. That was the girl that Jay fell for, why did it have to be Lola? Why couldn't it have been another girl? In fact, why did he have to fall for someone else at all in the first place?

Abi opened her wardrobe. It was mainly empty apart from a couple of boxes that were kept at the bottom of the wardrobe. One was filled with old stuff that she didn't want to part with at the time and had just stored in a box. However, the top item in the box seemed familiar. She took a deep breath to compose herself before pulling out the box and placing it down on her bed. She slowly lifted the flaps and pulled out a big handmade valentine's card. She gasped softly in realisation at the card that Jay had made her. It was full of photos of the two of them together and said 'Happy Valentine's Day' in bubble writing. She smiled sadly as she opened the card. In the card, it read:

 _To my beautiful Abs,_

 _Happy Valentine's Day!_

 _I love you_

 _Jay xxxxx_

She gently put the card down on the bed and looked inside the box once more. Once again, she smiled sadly as she pulled out a white teddy bear that was clutching a red love heart in between its paws. On the love heart, it spoke 'I love you'.

Abi took a slow and steady breath and she tried to compose herself. She couldn't be sad about the past, she had her future to think about. But she couldn't help but think that that particular Valentine's Day was after the Christmas fallout between her parents where they all found out that her dad was secretly married and in the end, he went off with his secret wife. That day she also had a run in with her dad as he tried to give her a valentine's card which he use to do when she was a little girl. That evening, Jay came round as the two of them agreed to go out for two for one pizza but neither of them fancied going out, therefore Jay had presented her with that teddy bear, a handmade card from himself, a bunch of red roses and Christmas re-gifted chocolates. Together, they had made chicken stir fry and sat and talked while they listened to music. Furthermore, that was the night that Abi realised that Jay had always accepted her for who she was and had loved her for that. That resulted in them making love for the first time. Abi wouldn't admit it to him, but that was the best night of her life.

Abi sighed sadly as she put the items back in the box and took hold of the other box that was in her wardrobe. It was full of photographs that she was going to take to university with her and stick on her wall in her dormitory once she got there. She prepared herself as she opened up the box of memories which stored twenty different photographs of memories that were precious to her at the time and wanted to take with her. Those pictures consisted of her family where her parents were together and she still lived with them with Lauren and Oscar. Those were the times where things were manageable and didn't particularly tear the family apart. There were also photos of other members of the family which included her Grandma Dot, her granddad Jim, her uncle Jack and her brother Bradley. However, the photos that particularly pulled at her heart strings were photos of her, Jay, Lola, Ben and Dexter. Abi came across a photo of her, Jay, Ben and Lola where Lola was heavily pregnant with Lexi and before she went off to Costa Rica. They all had radiant expressions on their faces. Even though, she was not aware about the story behind Heather's murder at the time, Abi did recall that she felt very happy and secure with Jay as not long ago, he had made it clear to Lola that he was not interested in her and he stuck to his word. That was when the only girl for Jay was Abi and Abi felt that she was not going to get let down, she trusted him.

Then, she came across a photo of her, Jay and Lexi at Lexi's christening. They were sitting in the Vic and Abi cradled the little baby Lexi in her arms and was smiling widely towards the camera with Jay sitting closely beside her with her arm wrapped tightly around her as he grinned into the camera. Jay was holding Lexi's hand. Abi had just started sixth form at the time and had got back together with Jay a few months before that. Amongst the photos, she came across a photo of just her and Lola posing for a selfie on one of their many night outs. She did miss Lola as a friend, she really did but she knew things would never really be the same again, not after what happened. Even when Lola and Jay hadn't gotten together, she missed her friend as things weren't right as Lola didn't agree with her new relationship with Ben (not that she blamed her!) and Abi was also pushing the people who cared about her away. But then Lola returned and got her claws back into Jay again and that's what really opened her eyes- she couldn't trust Lola or Jay, not anymore. Not after what happened. Abi smiled sadly as she finally came across a photo of just her and Jay. They looked so happy and so loved up, like nothing could ever destroy that. Abi was smiling like a little girl through the camera and Jay was smiling like a Cheshire cat as his arms were wrapped firmly around Abi's shoulders.

She let out a soft and gentle sigh- she really did miss her old life. The life where things were supposedly perfect. She would do anything to have that life back. The life where Bradley would still be alive and her parents were together and happy. She also wished that in this life, her and Jay were together and that she was best friends with Lola and nothing ever happened. However, she knew she would never get that life. Abi contemplated that she really did need to get away from it all as she believed that her downfall was caused by her breakup with Jay. She put all of her trust in Jay and relied on him so much as he was always there for her and was always willing to do anything for her and believed that they had a permanent and secure future together but she should have realised that nothing is ever a fairytale, not everything pans out the way they are supposed to. In a way, it was all her fault, while Abi was being needy and feeling helpless due to her A levels and family problems, she did not really ask Jay how he was feeling- no wonder he turned to Lola in the end. She was always willing to listen no matter what whereas Abi would just dedicate herself to a schedule which would either be sorting out her messed up family or preparing for her exams.

Oh well, she couldn't turn back time, things obviously were not meant to be and now it was time to turn over a new leaf...

* * *

"So you two _actually_ kissed?" Gary exclaimed excitedly as him and Jay were alone in the Arches working on a car.

"Do you want to say it any louder because I'm not sure that woman standing out the doctors' surgery heard you enough?" Jay hissed as he pointed towards the brunette woman who was wearing a navy blue coat who was standing outside the doctors' surgery with a handbag swung over her shoulder.

Gary rolled his eyes, "Well why you don't seem too pleased?"

Jay sighed, "I would be if she didn't admit that she still loves me before telling me that she can't be with me." He told him frustratedly as he worked on the bonnet of the car.

"Why would she do that?" Gary furrowed his eyebrows confused.

"I don't know," Jay shrugged it off sadly. "To be honest, I don't blame her. I really did hurt her Gar when we broke up."

"It's what makes us human," Gary said softly. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Well what do you suggest?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that my friend, only you can decide," Gary told him. "If she's worth it, you can continue fighting for her or if you've done all you can then there's nothing more you can really do."

Jay sighed. In that moment in time, Jay couldn't think what else he could do. He loved her so much and didn't want her to just slide through his fingers again. Just at that moment, Jay's mobile vibrated in his pocket. Jay frowned as he scrambled his hand down his pocket and pulled out his phone to find one text message waiting for him...

' _Can you meet me round yours at 5? Abi'_

Gary looked over at Jay questionably as he watched him texting enthusiastically on his phone.

"Who was that?" he asked intriguingly.

"Abi," Jay responded. "She wants to meet me round mine at 5."

Gary nudged Jay, "Well that says something doesn't it? That means that there's hope."

"Yeah maybe," Jay sighed, in hope that Abi may be having second thoughts after all.

* * *

Time ticked on as the day went by and 5 'o' clock soon approached the residents of Walford. Abi was all packed and was ready to get going to the airport, but she knew that she had something that she had to do first. Abi took a deep breath as she stood outside the Mitchells house and her eyes wandered up the house that used to be her home for the past year while she was with Ben. She even stayed there on occasional evenings when she was with Jay too. Abi swallowed as her knuckle knocked softly on the front door. Her stomach started turning as she heard footsteps coming from inside the house before the door swung open and there stood Phil Mitchell who looked slightly taken aback that his son's ex girlfriend was standing on his doorstep.

"Abi?"

"Hi," Abi spoke nervously. "Is Jay there?"

Abi watched as Phil's expression turned from taken aback to aggravated. He sighed heavily, "Why do you want Jay?" He spoke abruptly.

"I need to give something to him," Abi explained, indicating to the cardboard box that was being held under her arm. "Please?"

Phil gave an exasperated sigh as he opened the door wider to let Abi in, "He's in the kitchen," he said bluntly as he shut the door behind Abi and walked into the living room.

Abi watched Phil as he walked into the living room and made himself comfortable in the armchair in front of the motor racing. Phil had always given Abi the creeps in a way and sent shivers up her spine. Abi sighed as she walked into the kitchen to find Jay leaning against the worktop on his mobile.

"Hiya," Abi said pleasantly as she smiled softly, closing the kitchen door behind her.

"Alright," Jay spoke cheerfully as he smiled, putting his mobile down on the worktop. "What's that you got there?"

"Oh some photos that I wanted to give to you," Abi told him as she put the box down on the kitchen table. She watched closely as Jay went through the photographs, acknowledging pictures of the two of them and them with Dexter, Ben and Lola. "I thought you may have wanted them more than me."

"But why?" Jay asked confused as he dropped the photos down on the table, "These were the good ol' times!"

"Yes Jay, times when we were happy," Abi stated. "I can't have those memories with me I'm sorry."

"But why Abs? There were times when we were happy," Jay spoke convincingly as he reached for her hands. He grabbed hold of them and squeezed them lightly, "We can be happy again Abs. I mean, we still have feelings for each other. I love you and you said that you still love me last night. So, what's stopping us eh?"

Abi sighed, "Jay if there was a way that we could be together, I would take it but I'm scared, Jay. I'm sorry, I just feel that there is no way in us getting back together, not now anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay asked hopefully, "You mean you're not ready?"

"I don't know Jay," Abi sighed frustratedly. "But we need to move on, we need to be with different people because right now, we're just going back in the past and going round in circles and that's not doing any of us good." Abi gulped as she released her hands from Jay's grip, "I'm sorry."

"Abi please," Jay pleaded.

"Look I should probably go," Abi announced as she played with her hands. "Take care of yourself, yeah?"

"Oh come 'ere," Jay sighed as he quickly walked over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Abi's arms automatically curled around Jay's neck as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Jay inhaled the smell of Abi's hair which smelled of strawberries. He really didn't want to let Abi go, she was the only girl that Jay ever really loved and she was going to the other side of the world.

Abi had forgotten how good Jay's embrace felt and the thought that she would not be having those for a long time or not again saddened her. All of the memories that her and Jay shared came flooding back but she refused to let it get into her heart. She physically couldn't otherwise she wouldn't go to New Zealand. Things may be different this time round but she couldn't go there as she couldn't completely trust that things wouldn't fall the same way they did last time. Gradually, Jay and Abi slowly pulled away from one another and shared a brief glance before Abi disconnected it.

"I'll see you then," Abi said softly before opening the backdoor.

"Yeah, see ya," Jay said softly, trying to hide the sadness that was aching through every vein in his body. Jay watched as Abi started to walk out but turned back to look at Jay one final time before walking out completely and closing the door behind her.

Abi let out a long breath that she felt she was holding onto from the moment she entered the Mitchell house. When she felt her eyes start to heat up with forming tears, she quickly walked away with her head held high and confidence rising. She _**had**_ to stay strong. She couldn't sink down to Jay's level because in her head, she knew that history would repeat itself. Something would tear them apart whether it would be another girl or something terrible and Abi would be back to where she was- a destroyed wreck. She couldn't keep torturing herself like that anymore. She felt a throbbing in her chest and could feel her heart pounding as she edged nearer to Dot's house. She was deepened with sadness and was heartbroken that she was going away to New Zealand and leaving Jay- the only man that she had ever loved. But she had to trust her instincts that one day, she would find a man who really will be her _'prince charming'_ and would love her endlessly and would always protect her and never ever hurting her…that's if there was ever a man out there who was like that.

Abi smiled bravely as she walked up to Dot and Fatboy who were standing by Fatboy's car and were smiling on her approach.

"You all ready to go?" Fatboy asked cheerfully as he stood by the open boot of his car which was full of her luggage. "All your stuff is in the boot for your next adventure!"

Abi let out a deep breath, "Yeah, I guess I am." Her eyes wandered around the Square, "It just feels sad and weird all at the same time that I'm leaving. Walford has been my home for ten years."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Dot commented comfortingly but with a hint of eagerness. She enjoyed having female company in the house and Abi was also Jim's granddaughter and Dot wouldn't deny that she would miss Abi being around. It felt like the Brannings were slowly slipping away.

Abi shook her head sadly, "No Grandma Dot, I have to go. I need to move on. You never know, I might be back soon!" She added cheerfully.

Dot chuckled as she rubbed Abi's shoulder, "Well you're always welcome to stay anytime."

"Thank you," Abi smiled sadly. She turned to Fatboy and smiled at him, "I'm just going to go and get my bag."

With that, Abi slowly walked back into Dot's house for a final time with an attempt to clear her mind from all the bad things that have happened to her in Walford.

* * *

Jay swiftly looked into the box that was left on the kitchen table. He noticed the white teddy which embraced a red love heart saying 'I love you' in the box. He smiled sadly as he stroked the teddy's arm softly reminiscing back to that Valentines night and cursing himself for not continuing to be that man for Abi. The man who Abi could trust and she knew that he loved her for her and believing that nothing could tear them apart. He guessed that they got it all wrong.

"What did Abi want?" Phil asked as he entered the kitchen.

Jay quickly let go of the teddy as his eyes shot up at Phil. "Oh Abi just dropped some stuff off that she didn't want," Jay spoke hesitantly.

Phil's eyebrow arched, "And why would she give them to you?"

"Too many memories," Jay shrugged. "Anyway, I'm nipping out." He quickly excused himself as he grabbed his keys and phone, shoving them into his pocket before he walked into the hallway to retrieve his coat.

"You're not going after Abi, are you?" Phil asked warningly.

"No," Jay scoffed as he put on his coat.

"It's a shame that Abi's leaving," Phil spoke bitterly. "Despite her family, Abi would have made an alright housewife for Ben."

Jay's jaw tensed. A housewife? Is that all what Phil would see her as? Abi is far more than a housewife. If Abi was his wife, Jay wouldn't see her as some wife who would have his dinner on the table when he got home from work, who would constantly be at home looking after their sprogs and doing on-going housework while he went out as the breadwinner- it was not the 1950's anymore! If Abi was his wife, Jay would treat her with the respect that she deserves and would worship the ground she walks on as well as promising to stick by her and love her no matter what. He would be honoured that she would be the mother of his children and would support her with looking after them as well as encouraging her to fulfil her dreams.

"Yeah, well, I'll see you in a bit," Jay murmured, resisting the urge for his anger to rise as he departed the house.

"Off to Gatwick airport we go then Abs!" Jay heard Fatboy exclaim cheerfully as he walked out the front gate. Jay looked over to observe the scenario outside Dot's house to find Fatboy opening the driver's door of his car and Abi hugging Dot one final time before joining Fatboy in the car.

Jay swallowed a lump that appeared to be developing in his throat as he leant against the wall watching the scene go by. Abi was actually leaving. Leaving Walford, leaving him and he had _**no**_ idea what he was going to do. Jay watched Fatboy's car drive away. Jay sighed as he ran his hands over his face when a thought hit him.

"Gatwick airport," he said to himself, thoughtfully.

It was like a burst of energy had suddenly shot through Jay's veins as he darted across the Square and over to Gary and Dawn's flat where he pressed the buzzer hard and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Hello," a cute little fragile and feminine voice was suddenly heard through the speaker.

"Summer, it's Jay," Jay panted. "Is your mummy or daddy in?"

Throughout all of her life, Summer had always known Gary as her father and had always referred to him as 'daddy'. Lucky for the sweet little girl, Summer had never seen or heard of that Mr Rob Minter.

"Yes they are," Summer replied. "D'ya wanna come in?"

"Yes please sweetie," Jay answered as he ran his hand through his hair. The door buzzed open and Jay burst through the door and headed over to Gary and Dawn's flat to find Summer standing by the front door grinning.

"Hello," Summer spoke cheekily.

"Ello trouble," Jay cooed as he picked up Summer, balancing her on his hip as she giggled and was carried into the lounge and kitchen area where Gary was sitting down watching the telly.

"You alright Jay?" Gary exclaimed happily.

"See you got innocent little girls answering the front door now eh," Jay teased as he put Summer down.

"Well she's always been keen," Gary grinned as he stood up. "You want a drink or anything? Dawn's just in the bath."

"No I aint stopping," Jay insisted as he scratched the back of his neck. "I was actually wondering whether I could borrow your car."

"Depends what it's for," Gary smirked.

"Well it looks like there is something I can do in order to win Abi round," Jay said cheekily, his sadness suddenly gone temporarily as he was determined to carry out this new plan. "I just got earshot as Abi was on her way to the airport of what airport she is actually going to. I'm going to get her from the airport."

"Oh you're a genius!" Gary exclaimed cheerfully. He made his way over to the small kitchen, grabbing the car keys from the worktop and throwed them at Jay in which he successfully caught. "It's mad, but it's a great idea. You've only got one shot of this, Jay- go and get your girl! Good luck!"

Jay smiled as he ran out of the flat and ran into the Mitchell house to get his passport. He didn't even bother answering Phil and Ben as they tried to talk to him. He sprinted out of the Mitchell house and jumped into Gary's car across the road. He quickly switched on the engine and belted himself in before quickly putting his foot down on the clutch and putting the car into the correct gear before quickly applying a bit of gas and pulling down the handbrake down in order to set off.

Jay was not going to give up on his girl, if there was a chance that Abi was going to come back with him and not go to New Zealand then it was as sure as hell that he was going to take it.

* * *

"Good evening, how can I help you?" The airport receptionist greeted Abi with a smile as Abi walked over to the front case with one big heavy suitcase.

"I've booked a flight to New Zealand," Abi explained as she put her flight booking form and her passport down on the desk. "It's for 8 'o' clock."

"Not a problem," the airport receptionist answered as she opened Abi's passport and glanced between Abi and the passport photo. She put the passport down and looked at her computer. "Brilliant, would you like to sit towards the front or back of the plane or in the middle of the plane?"

"Erm, middle," Abi said hesitantly.

The airport receptionist smiled as she printed out Abi's ticket and stating what seat Abi was in before loading Abi's suitcase onto the conveyor belt. "Thank you, enjoy your flight!"

"Thank you," Abi smiled as she walked away from the front desk and made her way over to security.

* * *

Just half an hour before the flight to New Zealand, Jay sprung into Gatwick airport, constantly cursing the traffic on the way. It was horrific- there had been an accident on the M25 which caused traffic to go a completely different route. Luckily, the queue for the flights to New Zealand was empty as Jay quickly ran over to the front desk.

"Hello sir, can I help you?" The same airport receptionist who assisted Abi smiled at Jay.

"Erm, how much is it for a flight to New Zealand?" Jay enquired in a rushed tone.

"Last minute holiday?" The airport receptionist chuckled. "It's £300- that includes your return."

"Yeah, that will do," Jay answered, thinking if it turned out that Abi wanted Jay to go to New Zealand with her in the end, then he would go to New Zealand with her. He would do whatever it takes to make things work with Abi. The receptionist nodded as she made the booking on the computer.

"I'm afraid we only have 5 seats left," she frowned.

"This may sound mental but as you can see I don't have any luggage which kind of means I don't have any intentions of getting on the plane. I've actually come to stop someone I love from leaving," Jay explained. "I'll pay the £300, just as long as I get to catch her."

"Aw! That's so cute!" Another airport receptionist from the desk next to them awed with her hand on her heart. The receptionist smiled at her.

"Well be my guest," the airport receptionist chuckled. "That's £300 please."

"Is it alright to pay by card?" asked Jay.

"Yeah sure," the airport receptionist answered as she put the card machine on the desk. "I'll also want to see your passport as well please sir."

"Yeah sure," Jay responded as he quickly gave the receptionist his passport in which she checked over before accepting the card payment and giving Jay his ticket. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Jay gave a brief smile as he picked up his passport and ticket and dashed over to security.

* * *

Abi looked out the large window at the aeroplanes as she sat in the departure lounge alone with her thoughts. She had just text Lauren stating how she was going to be boarding in a few minutes. She was almost there. She was out of Walford and soon, she was going to be in another country. She was going to be away from Jay.

 _No, NO!_ Her subconscious roared from within her. She could not think of Jay as she was moving on with her life. This was a fresh start for her. But she couldn't help but think of Jay. She loved him and she wanted to be with him but she couldn't physically allow herself to be with him. He was toxic. She was not going to fall into his trap again.

As soon as she was up in the air, Abi's fresh start would begin. She would begin by entering the pleasures of New Zealand and enjoying some much needed family time with Lauren, Peter and Louie. She was also interested in seeing this Steven as apparently he lives nearby and was also intrigued by Peter and Lauren's long awaited news that they have been wanting to tell her.

"All departures to Flight 202, boarding is now open," it was announced through the speaker.

This was Abi's flight. Abi took a deep breath and she rose from her seat and got her stuff together before heading over to the queue where passengers were waiting to board.

"Abi!"

She suddenly heard her name being called by a familiar voice. Abi gulped as she turned her head to find Jay standing there with a look of desperation on his face. Abi rolled her eyes as she marched over to Jay.

"Jay, what are you doing here?!" Abi said through gritted teeth in a hushed tone.

"I'm not giving up on you Abi," Jay stated adamantly. "Abi, I love you and I'm not willing to let you go."

"Well, you're going to have to be willing," Abi said stubbornly, keeping her head held high. "Jay, this is crazy! How did you even get through? Will security be barging in any minute?"

Jay chuckled, "No, I bought a ticket just to see you, I had to see you."

"Yeah well you've seen me now," Abi added sarcastically.

"Abi, I know I messed up thousands of times but I want to make things work between us. I love you so much, you said yourself last night that you feel the same way. I want us to try again, I really do. I've got a ticket, I can come with you if you really want me to. I really want us to try Abi, I really want to be with you. I want you, just you." Jay pleaded as he placed his hand on her cheek and stroked it tenderly.

"Jay, this is madness!" Abi responded as she pulled away from Jay's embrace. "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. Loving you and wanting to be with you is completely different things."

"How is it?!" Jay exclaimed.

"I can't be with you Jay, not after everything we've been through. Go back to Walford Jay, if you really love me, try to move on. I'm going to New Zealand…on my own…I don't know if I'll ever be coming back. So please Jay, if you really do love me, go back to Walford and move on with your life." Abi told him, taking every strength and emotion in her body to say that to Jay. It hurt her so much to say those words but it was for the best, she kept telling herself.

"Abi…" Jay spoke in a desperate and pleading tone, emotion dripping out of him. "Please."

"No Jay, I'm sorry," Abi shook her head adamantly as she walked into the queue and gave the flight attendant her ticket. Jay watched with pain as the flight attendant accepted Abi's ticket and gave it back to her. He heard Abi murmur a quick thanks before Abi turned back to him.

"Goodbye Jay."

Abi kept her head held high as she walked down the slope with her bag draped over her shoulder. Before she turned the corner, Abi quickly turned back to glance at Jay who was gazing at her with pure heartbreak and devastation and Abi didn't look exactly over the moon either. Then, Abi was out of sight.

"Excuse me sir, but are you getting on?" The flight attendant asked with hesitation.

"No, I'm not," Jay gulped. He took a deep breath as he turned around and left the departure lounge and started to head out of the airport. Everything seemed a blur and voices appeared to be distant.

 _She's gone!_ His subconscious wept.

And there was nothing more that he could really do about it…

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ Bet your poor little Jabi hearts are now breaking, huh? Please let me know what you think by leaving me a review as well as favouriting and following! I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it.

The next update won't be as long as three months I promise! I can't believe it's been so long that I have not updated this story, I am so sorry! Things have just been so busy like work and I've been on holiday and oh, I also passed my driving theory test first time this week ;D (I really don't mean to sound big headed!) and before we know it, summer's gone?!

Anyway, please leave me a review and let me know what you think :') I love you all! x


End file.
